Dessert Dilema! Getting Married 10-05-2024

I think if you know that your guests won't be offended by being served alternative desserts/ cheesecake, go for it! At the majority of weddings I've been to (maybe all of them), the couple had a small "cutting cake" and then the guests were all served little assorted desserts (or cupcakes) and everyone liked this. You bring up a valid point that regular cake often goes untouched, and wedding coordinators often report dozens of servings of cake just going in the trash when the night's done.

I was going to just go with assorted desserts (eclairs, lemon squares, etc) for my wedding, but my fiance comes from a culture where the wedding etiquette is more strict. With his guests, they would see it as offensive if the bride and groom have cake but the guests do not, so we're ordering sheet cake that our venue will cut and plate. We are prepared for a significant amount to be untouched, but will also provide our coordinator with cake boxes for the leftovers so our family can bring home the extra and freeze it.

So basically if really think your guests would be offended by an non-cake dessert you should probably go with cake, but if you don't think they'll be offended (I think this is the majority of American guests) go for what you think people will enjoy most and won't be wasted!

I think a variety is always better because some people don't like cake, or want more options for whatever reason. Especially with something niche like cheesecake, people could be lactose intolerant or just not into it. Our caterer made a ton of different mini desserts and our guests loved it. We had a cutting cake on because I mostly just liked the decorative factor of a cake. Give some options to make all your guests happy.

It’s not offensive to serve an alternative dessert. That said, barring extenuating circumstances, it is traditionally not considered polite to leave a wedding before cake is served so it may be a bit confusing if people are waiting.


The exception is when the couple cuts and serves a piece of a special cake only to themselves. That is rude.
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You can do a fancy cheesecake and and cut it as your official cake cutting. I’d love a cheesecake at a wedding! We had our caterer do a couple of dessert options that were in addition to our cake and was just set on a pretty table nearby. That way people had options. We got tons of compliments on the s’mores bars!

Thank you for the advice ladies!! I appreciate the feedback! I love the assorted dessert idea. These are all great ideas also! and yes I think its also rude to not serve the guest cake and just the couple have their own lol!

Serve whatever dessert you want but make sure that all guests are served the same thing equally. Some people prefer cake, and an untouched cake means that the bakery is bad and incompetent, not the cake itself as a food group, because good cake does get eaten without many leftovers. It may be confusing to older guests who expect cake. But polite guests will keep opinions to themselves. Be aware that cheesecake has more dietary restrictions: lactose, vegan, etc so those need to be accounted for. But if your baker can manage with a good quality dessert, then you’re golden.