Deployment doesn't understand wedding dates!

I feel like these are all risks you should have known of when you got engaged to someone in the military...

Courthouse and stay home where your family is while he's deployed. Then figure out what to do next when he gets home.

My ex bf's sister is a military wife and he was stationed overseas. Then he deployed to a war zone and she took his deployment as an opportunity to visit her family for an extended period. She packed up the kids and spent 3-4 months with her parents. It was wonderful; she and I became very close during those times and I'm so glad that she did that. Could you maybe stay with your family while he is deployed?

BecomingKrueger , oh we knew of the risks just didn't think it would happen so soon. Thanks though!

From a VENDOR (Kathleen S Photography): there are groups within each branch that is dedicated to helping couples with this exact situation.

If you open up your post to vendors, they can help! They sometimes have the best advice and I a lot of life experience and they aren't allowed to advertise to you. If you open it up, she might even be able to help you more

I'm engaged to a military man and he's had to leave several times. I personally don't like the idea of getting married just for military convenience.

I say keep your date for now and check with all your vendors for a postponed date. Plus having a wedding to plan when he's gone will really help the time go by

Some vendors also have military clauses for this exact reason. Talk to the vendors you have booked or were planning on booking.

So you'll be 20 in April of 2018? That makes you 18 right now, correct? You're not going to want to hear this, but why not wait until after the deployment?

As military I will say the reality is always there and you need to be prepared. My first husband died in Iraq less than three months after our marriage. But I am grateful for those three months of marriage. Move there or stay where you are during his deployment...up to you. Get married before the deployment and then do what is best for you and your situation. You can always join him once you get back. That way you are surrounded by a support system, and can start your lives together once he gets back but are married before he leaves. Celebrate your marriage with a big blow out party when he returns.

We waited until FH was out of the military completely, we met when he was in , got officially together when he was inactive duty and waited the 4 years after until he was completely discharged from both active and inactive so we wouldn't run into this problem

You should allow vendors to comment on your threads.

My best friend got married in the courthouse right before her now husband got deployed. They will have their big wedding when he returns.

Ali gives wonderful advice. A very good friend (and roommate of mine) is now a military wife. Her, then boyfriend enlisted, when he returned from basic they got married at the courthouse, but he was then deployed and had a goal of enlisting in more training. She stayed with us, and his training date kept getting pushed out and pushed out, so she decided to move out there where he was. 4 months later.....he was shipped out to North Dakota to a private training for the next 6-8 months. She moved back with her family (although we opened our home back up to her) its just how it goes. Do what will work best for you. And please thank him for his service.

"So soon"? If 2 years is too soon then you're really taking it for granted in my opinion. DH gets deployed every other year as an active army member. We planned our wedding for right when he got back from deployment so we have no issues (although we did had to plan while he was deployed). Good luck.

To add on to what Sarah said, I work with the military. I just recently had a sailor get 24 hours notice that her command was being changed and that she would deploy in 24 hours. She used that time to quickly book a flight to take her daughter to Live with her parents and then flew back and deployed.

If I were you, I would wait until after the deployment to get married. I know lots of people that do the courthouse thing and then plan a vow renewal for after deployment.

FH is military. He has been married once before. They pushed up their wedding date significantly due to a deployment, and married about six weeks before he left. They were legally separated before he returned and divorced as soon as he was home.

He wasn't alone. About 1/3 of the men in his unit's marriages ended during deployment. Some people handle deployments well, some people don't.

I'm not saying you won't handle it well. I'm just saying you should wait.

Either way you go, you should look into Brides Across America. They do free wedding dresses for military brides.

Nope, it sure doesn't. It also does not care about other major life events like anniversaries, birthdays, or pregnancy. If this is going to be an issue, think long and hard before marrying the military. When you marry your FS, you marry their service as well.

FH and I met at work. He is USMC, I'm civil service. I grew up around military. My dad was gone for the first 3 years of my life. It's not easy. It will never be easy. Right after FH and I started dating, he got moved to a different unit, where he travels more than he is home. He's a career Marine. He will go where the Corps sends him and I will follow if I can or stay behind with the support of my family and friends.

I can't tell you when you should marry. I'd say if you know other couples in his unit, talk to them. Get to know them. They will give you solid advice (as will the military, former military, and spouses on this forum). Also go to the chaplain. They will have the best guidance when it comes to military marriage. I do think if you are concerned about how young you both are, you should wait.

I would wait. Honestly though, he's lucky they're waiting that long to deploy him, unless of course, you're still in high school right now. Actually, that timeline fits very well...

Graduate May/June, Boot August-September, AIT for a few months, then deploy...

Wait. Especially considering your ages. Stay home in Iowa, with your family (you'll need he support anyway), save up some more, and wait.

Plus then you'll be able to host like adults, complete with alcohol.

My military fiancé and I moved to San Diego after a year of dating and without getting married. He deployed 4 months later for 7 months. I have met the most amazing community through him and felt very supported. We wanted to live together and go through a deployment before getting married/engaged. I encourage anyone to consider waiting if it's financially feasible. When you do start booking vendors, get a deployment cause put it. All of mine were very accommodating with including that to protect us and them.

I think you should wait until after deployment. It will give you time to save and you'll be old enough to drink at your own wedding. And I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but the military changes people and it's hard being a military wife. It would be wise to wait and see how you both handle the separation before moving forward with the wedding.