Declining Wedding Gifts

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I agree with this, if I got an invitation that said "bride and groom would appreciate monetary gifts" I would assume they were having financial trouble, and question why they were having a wedding if they need money so badly that they blatantly ask their friends and family to give them some with no shame.

It's rude to ask for money. If you don't want physical items, don't register, but be warned that people may buy you a physical gift anyway, and that having a small registry provides people some guidance.

There’s actually a “newlywed fund app” that The Knot offers. That’s what me and my hubby are doing. Look into it. On our registry tab, they can click right on it and contribute.

View Quoted Comment Lots of things are honest and yet rude. The fact that it’s honest is not a valid argument. It sounds like you are sold on asking for cash, so do as you please. However, be aware that you may offend several people and you may be discussed in an unflattering way for choosing to do this. Yes, it’s “your wedding” but you don’t want to offend the people that are taking time out of their lives to come celebrate with you. ANY gift is generous and should be welcomed. I’m sorry, but this is not a good outlook to have.

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Even if I was to put this on my wedding page, my family and friends know me and my FH are not in need of money. If that was the case we would have a smaller budget wedding. I simply do not want to accept gifts because we have nowhere to store them. I am ok with people coming to the wedding and not bringing a gift. Honestly that makes it even better because I would feel horrible giving their gift away to someone else. I appreciate your response and opinion. P.S I have been to a few weddings where they only requested gift cards as gifts.

So reading all of the comments a few of you seem to have missed my point. IN NO WAY SHAP OR FORM am I begging my friends and family to give me and my FH money as gifts. I know some people would prefer a physical gift but with our living situation right now we do not have the space. My thought was to have people save the time and the money by just gifting gift cards or money. If they don't want to do that so be it they are still welcomed to party and have a great time with us. I have been to several weddings where they only requested gift cards and no-one found that to be "tacky" as some of you called it. Once again I appreciate all of the comments and opinions. Keep them coming.

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Wow, I didn't think so many people would be easily offended with wording in regards to someones wedding. No, I don't feel entitled nor am I a rude or selfish person. What I do find rude and of poor taste is the judgement of someone's character based on their preference. Asking for a gift that is listed on your registry is just like asking for a monetary gift; both are stating what you want. Guest could show up with nothing and we'd greatly appreciated that just as much as someone else who did bring a gift (monetary or not). Their presence is the biggest gift we could ask for. My point is, everyone is getting caught up in "how to say this, how to ask for that", that they're forgetting about the occasion within itself. It's all about knowing your guest and doing what suites you. We're thankful that we don't have critics or sensitive people who are easily offended in our family. I'm not looking for everyone on WW to agree with me, I'm solely stating that you should not be frowned upon nor should your character be judged because of what you choose to do. To Lynnijah, choose the advice that's best for you! You can't please everyone (as shown in this discussion, and they're not even invited to your wedding lol), believe me no matter how hard you try, someone will be offended. So why not do what's best for you and your FH, many blessing!

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If I'm not mistaken they tack on a charge that your guests have to pay in addition to the amount they are gifting you. I don't think it's a high fee, but something to be aware of.

"What I do find rude and of poor taste is the judgement of someone's character based on their preference."

Seriously? People will always judge when you are rude. When you have the etiquette pointed out to you, and you still choose to be rude, you will be judged even more harshly.

"Asking for a gift that is listed on your registry is just like asking for a monetary gift; both are stating what you want."

You can continue to ignore and misinterpret the comments all you want, but it is always rude to include anything about gifts on an invitation.

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It is ignorance to assume someone's in a hardship because they prefer monetary gifts over items that they already purchased for themselves. I could assume the same for someone asking for pots and pans or bed sheets on their registry. Are they not eating because they're asking for pots??? Oh my, they must be poor because they're asking for bed sheets. That's an insane assumption! That is why it says we would "appreciate"... meaning you don't have to gift money if you choose not to. We thank you either way. Just like one would "appreciate" if when they sneezed, for others around them to do whats common and say "bless you", but do those people have to???....No. Although it would be considered rude, uncommon or even improper etiquette for others not to say anything. Is offense taken then?

Look... your guests already know you want money. Everyone wants money! The point of a registry is so that people don’t buy you sheets or towels that don’t match the rest of your home, or don’t buy you something you already have. It’s not asking for gifts, it’s a guide so that those who do want to get a gift know what you want.

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Wheew! I couldn't agree with you more! Create a "honeyfund" account for monetary gifting and gift cards of your choice.

Some of you still aren't understanding. Weddings are not a gift giving occasion. It's a milestone and a celebration. Guests started bringing gifts to help young couples set up households. That's it. This doesn't evolve just because it's 2018 and most couples have a complete set of home goods. If you need nothing, ask for nothing. Don't set up a honeyfund, PayPal, venom, whatever. Just STOP.

You don't get to determine etiquette just because it's your wedding day. You and your FI are the center of attention, but that's it. You still have to follow the rules and laws of a civilized society. You are exempt from nothing.

Venom LOL....venmo

View Quoted Comment And there is nothing wrong with it. It’s all about tact. I don’t think it’s rude at all.

View Quoted Comment Yas!! This! It should be pinned at the forum front page.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree. I’m not doing a registry for that very reason. We HAVE everything we need. But gift cards/ money will be accepted .

Make a charity donation page if you don't want anything. If you don't need anything then you don't need money either.. YOU CANNOT ASK FOR MONEY. OR FOR HONEYMOON MONEY.

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Eeeesh I know, I cringed so hard :grimacing:

Just don't make a registry. My mom was actually really good at telling people when they asked her what we needed that we didn't need anything and that we could use money because we were saving for a down payment on a house.

If you don't need anything, then have people donate to a charity in your honor. Or ask for no gifts.