Declining Wedding Gifts

View Quoted Comment Absolutely rude to mention gifts at all, in any capacity. Your only focus should be hosting your guests wonderfully and marrying the love of your life. You shouldn’t even think gifts, let alone mention them.

View Quoted Comment Oh no! If I was a guest to your wedding my eyebrows would shoot up reading “bride and groom would appreciate monetary gifts”. It sounds like you need money, no offense intended. If it’s not too late, I urge you to remove this wording. It sounds gift grabby and rude. I wouldn’t even want to give you anything after reading that statement .

View Quoted Comment Oh, no!!! Mention of gifts of any kind do not belong on invitations. The only time guests should know about gift preferences is when they ask you, or when they receive the Bridal shower invitation that will list the gift registry.

We have received off registry gifts like “hubby-wifey” mugs, wedding albums etc. I can’t imagine declining them. That would be beyond rude.

Also some people really want to give stuff. I vote nice towels and sheets are very good upgrades. That way you can curve unwanted physical gifts.

It will be rude but only you know your friends and family best if you know they’ll get upset than don’t bring it up if you doubt that they won’t get upset that tell your mother to tell all your aunts and uncle and then they can all them your cousins and your fiancé can do the same I would just skip the bridal shower and everyone will get the hint you don’t want gifts like that

View Quoted Comment Not on the invitation. Not on the wedding site. Not on the save the date. Don't ask people for money, just don't register, people will figure it out.

A distant friend included one of these poems with her invitations. Guess what other friends and I will be gifting? That's right, boxed gifts.

View Quoted Comment Hilarious!!!

View Quoted Comment Completely agree. I think this is the best way to go about it. My fiance and I have a house and already own most of the essentials, but we decided to register for upgrades that we would really like so we can give our guests some direction. I would prefer to get gifts from a registry than random stuff I'll never use. One registry with the bare minimum is all you need.

Yes, it's rude to ask for money or gift cards. Guests akready know money is a nice wedding gift. If you just don't register and don't have a shower, your guests will take the hint and will gift cash, check, or a gift card.

Sometimes, there will be people who just don't like to give money and prefer to give a boxed gift. If there's no registry, they'll pick something out themselves. If you think you have anyone like that in your life, you can consider making a very small registry with a couple of things you could use or replace. That way, at least the few boxed gifts you end up with will be things you'll actually use and not clutter that you have no idea what to do with. When people see a very small registry, they also take this as a hint that a monetary gift would be best.

Absolutely do not mention gifts on your wedding invitations. Doing so says that you feel gifts are expected at your wedding. If you state anywhere that instead of a gift, money would be appreciated, you come off as very presumptuous that you though everyone was going to be bringing you a gift. Your guests already know money is an option and is obviously something that anyone would appreciate it. It's tacky to bring it up. If there's no mention of a registry on the wedding website and you answer with "we didn't register anywhere" when guests ask where you are registered, those guests who did feel inclined to give you a gift will choose to give you money.

Surely you can find things to register for. As others have said, some guests will give physical gifts no matter what, so it's better to direct them in what you would like and use.

Do NOT let anyone throw a shower for you if you don't want gifts and won't make a registry. The entire point of a shower is to give the bride and groom things for their new home together. It is rude to ask for cash at weddings, and would be absolutely disgusting to do so at a shower.

H and I live in a small apartment, and we're getting ready to spend a few months overseas for my work. Consequently some of our wedding gifts have been sitting still in their boxes on top of a bookshelf and will not be used for a year or more after our wedding. That's fine, we registered for things that we knew we would use "someday" when we have a house, that don't take up too much space. You can do the same

It is not rude send a message to guest monetary gifts prefered.

Don't register, but don't ask for money, even in a cute poem. Cute does not make it any more acceptable. Tell both mothers and MOH, to tell people that they are not giving physical gifts, just money.

I don't care how you word it, it's rude.

Accept your gifts graciously, no matter what it is.

When it comes down to it, no one opinion here matters (especially the ones who are breaching etiquette right out of the gate in planning). Clearly some people know what they are talking about, and others don't. The challenge for new members is figuring out who is who.

What does matter is that couples take some time to research etiquette if you somehow escaped learning it by now. If you can find this website, you can find an etiquette website.

"I don't think it matters" YES it does matter, Why start off your married life being rude to your closest friends and family? It is NEVER polite to make any mention of gifts on an invitation. Simply by including that mention, you are telling your guests you expect gifts. A cringe-y poem makes it worse not better. Now we know that you not only don't care enough about being polite to look up the etiquette, you also have poor taste.

You also never list a registry on an invitation, other than a bridal shower invitation. That's because showers are 100% about gift giving.

You can mention your registry on your website, where you could say that you have your household set up and are saving for your first home.

As countless pp's have said, don't have a registry, or keep it small for those who prefer physical gifts, and the rest will give you cash.

View Quoted Comment To each its own, I've gone to many weddings and seen several couples ask for monetary gifts. If your guest are easily offended by what YOU want on YOUR wedding day then they possibly don't know you and your spouse very well and should not be there to celebrate what makes YOU happy.

View Quoted Comment It's not gift grabby, it honesty. I'd prefer my quest to not waste their money on a gift that'll sit in the corner collecting dust for eternity! I'm not saying decline gifts, I'm saying be upfront. Not having a registry my not lead your guest to think you want money. It may lead them to think they can get whatever ( which I would accept). However, a 3rd blender or a 5th set of wine glasses aren't needed.

To each its own. I've gone to many weddings and seen several couples ask for monetary gifts. If your guest are easily offended by what YOU want on YOUR wedding day then they possibly don't know you and your spouse very well and should not be there to celebrate what makes YOU happy (hence the reason why they're there in the first place). It's not about how your quest feels or what they prefer you do on your wedding day. They'll have enough free food and free booze that the bride and groom provided to get over it.

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If I received an invitation to a wedding or shower stating the couple would prefer monetary gifts I would be offended. It is incredibly tacky, and you will be hard pressed to find many people on WW who will disagree with that. The only polite way to go about asking for money is to do as PP's stated and either don't create a registry or create a small upgrade registry. People aren't dumb, they will get it. And I have to say, I think that 2nd paragraph comes off as very entitled. Maybe that's not what you were going for, but it sounds like you think the only people who matter are you and your FH. You might be spending a lot of money on this wedding, but your guests are too. They are taking time out of their lives to come and celebrate you, they are spending money on their hair, attire, makeup, shower and wedding gifts all for YOU. Having the attitude that it's "not about how your guest feels or what they prefer you do on your wedding day" is rude.

View Quoted Comment All I want on my wedding day is to marry my best friend. I don’t need anything else to make me happy. My guests are invited to have a fun time celebrating us, not to give us money or gifts. If they feel inclined to, I will be extremely thankful for whatever they decide to gift us with.