Day-of getting ready

Most people don't go golfing/kayaking, etc the day of in real life because there is literally no time to do that and get ready too. A spa morning could be fun but you would need to cover expenses.

It's completely fine to decide that you don't want professional hair and makeup or to spend hours getting ready. This is your wedding and these decisions should be completely up to your preference.

Using the time of your ceremony as your fixed point, figure out how much time you will need to get ready (whatever that entails for you), plus transportation time, and some buffer time (because it's always smart to budget extra time), then you will know how much time you have for the rest of the day for an activity or just hang out time. Then look around the area to see what activities are available that sound fun and will fit into your open time.

I would caution you about trying to plan activities for that morning/afternoon with ALL of those people. The logistics of that will end up being really stressful, especially if you add in activities that cost money. Just make your plans and let people know they can join you if they want, how much money it's going to be, and what time to be there. Done!

Also make sure everyone knows what the deadline is (i.e., X minutes before the ceremony start time) and then trust them to get ready on time. I wouldn't micromanage their hair and makeup.

I would go more chill, personally. A walk, video games, board games. I’ve been in a few weddings & I haven’t heard of any elaborate plans for the day of, even if there wasn’t much to get ready!


I would also double check with your wedding party, especially before making any plans involving money. I have several bridesmaids, plus the mothers, who were very concerned about having their hair & makeup done professionally. If I wasn’t hiring a HMUA (which I did debate, as I also don’t really wear makeup) I’m sure they would want to go to a salon to have that done. So while it’s fine to not care for that, not do it yourself, & plan to do something else, just make sure you aren’t booking something for X number of people when they’ll be planning on sorting out their own getting ready!

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This is great advice, thank you!

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Ah I do love the idea of board games or a chill activity like that! And good to think about if people will want to do that anyway if I'm not providing or planning for it. Thank you!

I wouldn't want to get ready with that many people in one place. Can't imagine the fighting over mirror space being healthy.

I would not go kayaking the day of my wedding. And if a friend suggested it I’d try and talk them out of it. When ever we go kayaking it’s a long day and I’m hot, tired, and dirty after.
If you don’t want professionals and getting ready all together, then let everyone get ready separately and then meet up before the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment I just love board games! I vote some fun lunch too, & if it’s nice & there’s a yard you could do lawn games


Honestly I was a bit surprised when they said that haha. But I also get not wanting to feel uncomfortable. I think lots of people get at least hair done professionally for weddings even as guests, although I didn’t even for my proms.

I suggest everyone getting ready separately - some may choose to get ready together, who knows? - and have a time and place to meet.
I suspect most people aren’t going to want to go do an activity like kayaking or a yard game - that’s just a lot to cram into a day where where people are going to be still doing some coordinating and running around.
It sounds carefree and fun in theory, but there’s going to be enough going on that day, to get 9 bridesmaids and assorted VIPS to go kayaking sounds like a lot of work.

When I was a groomsmaid, we went to tour the island he was getting married at instead of getting ready. We went out to eat, walked on the beach, had a good time. I wouldn't do anything too taxing on your wedding day

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That sounds nice!

I would talk to your girls to get their opinions. There is no way I'd want to go kayaking on someone's wedding day. There is already a ton of stuff going on that it would make me overly anxious. I also would order not to have to do my own hair and makeup so I'd probably ask the bride if she was okay with me going to a salon to have it processionally done rather than me doing it myself or relying on someone else. I think your best bet is going to be letting everyone get ready on their own and just giving them a time and place to meet once they are ready.

I've honestly never heard of the grooms going off and doing things like kayaking or whatever the day of. My husband just slept in a bit longer than me and had breakfast with his dad before he and the groomsmen all met at the venue to get ready and hang out.

I forgot to add, if you don't want to get everything professionally done, I agree with others to just hang out and relax and then have everyone meet at the venue at a designated time all ready to go.

This idea of everyone getting ready, together with HMU pros on site for all is modeled on a celebrity entourage, and was introduced by Reality TV, same as the group-shopping Idea for wedding dresses. It is not at all traditional. Traditional for many generations has been 1 or 2 family or wedding party, or a good frie ds, with the bride. And other WP and MOG etx taking care of their own arrangements, whether home, friend or salon. And outside of the very wealthy and show biz, doing your own makeup if mot done by your hair person. And this is still the practice in most country areas for local weddings. WW do not list people in my state who even travel to do do wedding HMU less than 60 miles from us, unless they are at a hotel or resort. 🙂🙂🙂Do what you want. We had a very relaxing day up til 3 pm. Then everyone took care of themselves in their own space. Within 1.5 hours, last ready. Since my ladies and I had all at some point had jobs requiring picture perfect daily, we did our own. Several of groom's sisters and SIL are stylists, and there was a salon within 1/2 mile of one lodgings, 2/4 of the other. People made their own plans. No waiting for turns, no getting on each other's nerves. I have never liked groom grooming ( hair, mani, pedi) and my idea of a show would be 7 bathrooms for 7 couples. We were off having pics of just us 75 min after stepping in the shower, and Bridal party all showed for tgeir group pics, along with parents, 15 min later. Most got up late in the morning, or had early afternoon naps, so wedding night was not a story of too tired or too drunk. Don't feel you need to model yourself after recent tv. Do any workable thing.

I was in a friend's wedding that was very laid back and low key, and very DIY. The morning of, we made pancakes and chatted, then finished up the bridemaids' bouquets before heading to the church where we all did our own hair and makeup while watching a football game in a Sunday School room. I did the bride's hair and makeup, and her cousin did the MOB. We didn't allocate quite enough time for making the bouquets and taking all the getting ready pictures, so I second the "buffer time" suggestions. The suggestions of board games or other casual hanging out items would probably be the best/least stressful with that large of a party. Congratulations!!

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That sounds delightful, and totally the vibe I'm going for! Thanks for sharing!

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Thank you for sharing! It's so easy in wedding planning to get caught up in what you see as what's expected, and I appreciate the reality check that not everyone's wedding does or has to look that way!

Also gives me hope that everyone could get ready in 1.5 hours on their own and meet back up for pics. I think we can do it!

My suggestion would be treating them to a casual brunch the morning of, before getting ready. If you're not planning on professional hair and makeup, then people could get ready on their own afterwards

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It does sound like separately getting ready is the way to go. Thank you for sharing! A brunch sounds lovely!