Day-of-Coordinator vs. Bridesmaids

I'm not sure what you're asking, can you clarify?

If you're asking who should be in charge of things? Day of coordinator. The bridesmaids are there to stand by you, not run the show

What is your question? Bridesmaids are in no way the same thing as a DOC..

Bridesmaids are your closest friends, their only job is to show up in their dress and stand by you on your important day.

A DOC is hired to coordinate the day of your wedding. Please don't make your BMs work all day.

Exactly what @MrandMrsG and @JamieLynn said.

I do DOC. It's a lot of work. Do you really want your ladies rushing around right before the ceremony, perspiring, setting up escort cards, candy bar, making sure the florist and the cake have arrived, checking in with timing for the venue, etc?

And - depending on your venue - the "wedding factory" venues ONLY allow you and your vendors to set up one hour prior to the ceremony and reception. Your ladies would have to be ready much earlier, and then, like I said, possibly perspire, be anxious that they won't get it done on time, etc.

Just some things to think about.

Please tell me you're fucking kidding. Your BMs are SUPPOSED to be your nearest and dearest friends not your wedding slaves to make your wedding dreams come true. They're there to stand by your side on the most important day of your life. They are NOT there to hang curtains, tie 100s of bows, fluff tulle, and generally decorate and make sure your wedding runs smoothly. Their ONLY job is to pay for their BM dresses and be on time to the wedding. They *might* throw you a shower and/or a bach party, but that's because they're wonderful friends.

Hire a DOC. Don't turn your BMs into slaves. This is such a terrible question.

No, you really don't want you BMs doing the things that DOCs take care of. Managing any aspect of a wedding is hard work -- overseeing all of it is a job in itself. Seriously, just bringing in and setting up flowers for the ceremony and reception makes you want to head for the shower (which is exactly what I do after setting up wedding florals).

If you're on a tight budget and trying to cut costs - one of the things to ask potential venues is how early you can go in and set up. FH and I are handling setup ourselves (if family is in town and wants to help, ok, but we're not asking anyone to) because part of the reason we picked where we did was that we would be able to get in early and set up the tables and decor.

But yeah, comparing a DOC to bridesmaids is apples and oranges. DOC is a vendor who is paid for their work - bridesmaid is an honorary title.

Come on now, I think we have previously established that BM's are actually and should be honored to be Glitter covered wedding slaves y'all.

But in all seriousness. I hope what you are asking is if you should spend the money to hire a DOC OR have a BP and pay for BM gifts with that money. In that case, I say it depends on your vision for your day and your priorities. If you are in fact asking if you can just use your BM's as a DOC instead of hiring a professional then...well the only "duties" a BM must fulfill are to buy a dress and stand next to you to support you on your day.

Hahahaha Kimberly! I was thinking glittered covered wedding slaves, but I didn't want to say it without becoming cliched lol. Maybe she's tulle covered wedding slaves?

@Elizabeth, if only we didn't have to use it so much lol

Is this a serious question? Or, more accurately, what is your question? DOC's and BM's are not equivalent.

Hahaha @Kimberly. I think that's where the "are you fucking kidding me" came from... Why do people want to use their friends as work horses???? I just... don't understand. I'm doing my best to make sure my BMs have no responsibilities besides standing next to me (maybe handing me a tissue if I start to cry lol) and having a fantastic time!

Naturally I would go with the bridesmaids but unfortunately my situation isn't what you would consider normal.

I was considering 5 bridesmaids and no maid-of-honor because three of the bridesmaids live in Louisiana and one lives in Washington State. I live in New Hampshire so I thought that that would make things really complicated. That's why was going to hire a day-of-coordinator to help out but I'm not 100% sure what they do.

I'm really new to all of this and have never been to a full blown wedding and I have never been asked to participate in one either.

Hey @alicia, so since you said you plan on going with them you need to think about what you really want to be doing the day of your wedding. My DOC is setting up all the decor, organize and direct vendors, collect family members for pictures, organize everyone for the ceremony, she may also be giving vendors their tips.

They do alot of things that may otherwise have you running around the morning of your wedding.

Perfect, thank you for your feedback. That's what I'm basically looking for.

First off....do you have a lot of DIY items and do your venues have a dedicate person to oversee events? I hate that brides are being made to feel like they HAVE to hire a wedding coordinator or DOC, because you don't. Millions of weddings have been executed beautifully over time without the need of hiring an outside person. We didn't hire one and relied on the venue staff and should I be able to do it all over again I still wouldn't hire anyone. Our church had no more decor other than the altar flowers and unity arrangement with candles and those were set up by our florist, who also set up our centerpieces. The event staff set up our table linens and the small extras we had such as the "Established" sign, card box, champagne flutes and cake cutting set.

Maltese is correct, you dont need a DOC if your venue has event staff and your wedding is fairly low DIY. my wedding is pretty much 80% DIY and my venue doesn't have any event staff, i think that my caterer has some wait staff that can assist with setting up tables and such but there are lights that i want to hang up with paper lanterns etc... that is my personal reason for hiring a DOC, i dont want to have to be hanging up the lights myself the morning of the wedding and rushing to get ready. Also i want the DOC to help gather people to take pictures during cocktail hour since we have our photographer for a shorter period of time than most weddings.

BUT if your venue is fairly all inclusive and has staff to assist with setting up basic things you don't necessarily need a DOC.

Oh come on. Your bridesmaids' role shouldn't be anywhere near the DOC's role. They shouldn't be running the show. Nope. Absolutely not.