Day after breakfast or brunch? Who pays?

You do.

I believe you pay for it....

Technically if you invite people and make it known then you should pay.

We are assuming that most people will be having breakfast/brunch at the hotel. We are going to let all of them make their plans, and then make ours because we really don't want a formal organized brunch. We left it up to our parents if they want to plan anything, but as far as I'm concerned, our responsibilities are hosting the RD and the wedding.

You might be able to have your friends spread the word that it's Dutch but make sure that you're not organizing it because that makes you the host. You really should be the one paying for it.

If you plan it in advance and invite people, it would seem like you are hosting it. I've gone out to eat they day after a wedding and paid for my own meal, but it was just spread by word-of-mouth the evening of the wedding.

I think my FMIL is doing a breakfast at her house the next morning before we leave for our HM.

I think something simple with just family and close friends.

Yes! That's what I mean. Sorry, ladies. I want it to be very informal, I like your wording @valerie!

I'm really trying not to host anything else after the day after the wedding.

Since it will be only close friends and family, Youd have to do it by word of mouth. Start with your bridal party, who you should be comfortable talking to because...well...theyre your best friends, right? Then, Tell your Mom to help you get out the word that everybody who wants to is meeting up for breakfast at .... and were going dutch. Let me know if you want to join us and I will make the reservation. And then make sure to let the restaurant know ahead of time that your party will need separate checks. The wedding is over and its just food and family. Thats what Im going to do, but rather than my Mom Im going through my sister in law to be. She has already mentioned it to me.

If you're inviting, then you do. The only alternative I can think of (assuming nobody offers) is to offer verbal (ie informal) invites "hey we're meeting at Denny's at 11 AM for some brunch, you're welcome to join us." It's still sort of vague, but I feel as though if I were the guest I would assume that I would have to pay for my own meal.

I'd choose one or the other -- go to breakfast alone or host a post-wedding brunch that includes others. Trying to meld the two becomes awkward, and some people are bound to assume that it is gratis. That's when it gets a little uncomfortable -- at least for me.

As long as it's not a formal, organized thing then i don't think you have to pay. Just use word of mouth..."we're getting breakfast at such-and-such place around 10, anyone's welcome to meet us there". In that case, I would come prepared to pay for my own meal. Let your parents and bridal party know your intention too, that way if someone asks directly, they'll know.

I wouldn't formally invite ppl if your not paying. If ppl ASK I'd say "we (as in FH &you) will probably go have breakfast at X that morning, I am not sure who is coming. But you're more than welcome to join if you like." Also as far as picking a place I would go w/ one of those brunch places where you pay upon entry and its like a nice buffet/grill (they usually have fruit, omelet stations, seafood, unlimited mimosas, and cost around $25). That way their is no weirdness when bills come to the table, bc they would have paid to get in. There are a lot of places like that, esp on Sunday.

I think word of mouth will probably work the best

Celia is right. You pay, we are doing one at the hotel and we have to pay per person. It's another thank you for coming to the wedding and sharing this special time with us!

The last wedding I went to we had to pay for out own brunch. It was a word of mouth not written on the invite.

The last wedding I went to had an insert with the hotel block information that included a note stating that guests were welcome to join the bride and groom for a brunch buffet at a discounted rate.

It was the hotel's normal brunch buffet but they had a space set aside for the people who attending the wedding in a semi private dining room and the discounted meal was paired with the blocked room.

@sjd85 - I wonder if I can look into that. I didn't think to check. We were just going to go out somewhere

Maybe I should have clarified my point better: I think if it's a formal planned event, you definitely have to pay for it. Ie: if it's on your invitation in any way: you pay.

Okay, thanks @LadyMonk - it won't be on any invitations and it's supposed to be a very informal event!