Dad & stepdad walking down the isle... Dad is not happy

You're welcome! just please remember his decision has no real reflection on you-his decision, his loss. and yes, this is very childish!

hope it works out- just keep your eye on your vision and concentrate on those that will be there to support you -

I sure will and I will tell him excatly that.. "This is what I want, it's my decision and I hope that you can be thee for me on my special day" I guess after that the ball will be in his court.. Just hope he chooses the right one.

Haha I told my FH today that I'm just going to be like Yeahh dad you're walking me down the isle and then the day of walk up to both him and my step dad and be like so yall ready!? Lol he would probably leave then but hey he's already there anyways might as well go through with it... Is that bad?!

You know, that may not be such a bad idea- long as you're ok with the possibility he may make a scene, I don't think you should feel guilty about it.

even if he did make a scene, I'm sure just about everyone will realize his story and that he's just making a a*s out of himself.

and you could always explain your side if needed.

letting him think he's getting his way may just be the way to go.....

wold love to hear more about this later!

You know, that may not be such a bad idea- long as you're ok with the possibility he may make a scene, I don't think you should feel guilty about it.

even if he did make a scene, I'm sure just about everyone will realize his story and that he's just making a a*s out of himself.

and you could always explain your side if needed.

letting him think he's getting his way may just be the way to go.....

wold love to hear more about this later!

Haha my FH just laughed at me I'm not sure if he would even make a scene he's not a confortation type of guy unless someone else says something first idk he might surprise me and would but who

Knows!!? Haha I will keep ya updated for sure!!

Okay - I'm playing devil's advocate here. You really should pick one or the other. It's hurtful to have them both walk you down. It sounds like you're closer to your stepfather than your father anyway. Here's another thought (keep in mind I'm much older and had wedding #1)...I didn't have anyone walk me down the aisle. It was scary, but it was also awesome. We didn't do a first look, so when my husband watched me walk down the aisle, all he saw was me.

I mean I get that it's "hurtful" but then I don't because I didn't choose to have two dads and I'm only closer to my step dad bc I lived with my mom but I love them just as equally. It's still my day and they are both father figures so I can't just choose one to walk me down

I agree with the other girls on here. This is YOUR day not your fathers and he needs to understand that. If hes willing to miss out on his daughters wedding its pretty selfish if you ask me. Its your decision seems like your step dad has been there for you more and deserves to be the one walking you but I understand you don't want to upset your father either. Maybe have him walk you and your step dad wait for you at the end of the aisle so you can give him a kiss and hug? Just remember you can't make everyone happy because when you try to do that your only hurting yourself, do what your heart tells you its your day nothing else matters!

I don't see at all how it's hurtful to have 2 parents walk you down the aisle- lots of people do that. IMO hurtful would be choosing one over the other!

no reason you can't have them both, assuming that's what you want, and they both want to take the honor of doing so.

to me it doesn't matter if you are escorted by 2 people or as many as you can fit in the aisle, it's a honor and they should be happy to have that honor! if they are not, then it's their problem and loss.

I'm having the exact same experience right now, and it also feels like I'm being ripped in half. Brittany, I just wanted to see how things are working out for you and how the talk with your dad went. Just know you're not alone... what a terrible thing to go through.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through it too because it's very hard and upsetting to be put through this situation, well u finally just let my dad know how it made me feel and that it was childish what he was doing and in the end I was still going to be getting married and it was going to be on him if he wanted to be apart of it or not, I told him I wanted him to be there and they have both been there for me and my step dad needs to be honored for that as well.. But I told him what I wanted and that they were both going to walk me down then my step dad will sit and he was going to give me away. He seemed to agree with that and I told him to get fitted. So now it's just a matter hoping he shows up! But if he doesn't I still have someone that I look to as a dad to walk me down and yes I will be hurt and upset he won't be there because he is my dad but he will be the one that will have to live with not walking his only daughter down the isle because he let a divorce that happened over 18 years ago come in between that. ( since February when this first happened I am now passed the stressed part of it to it is what it is stage)

Brittany, thanks so much for sharing your update. It's just so much hurt going through this, you never think you'll be expected to choose between such important people in your life. I'm so sorry for you going through this too, but really proud of you for being so mature and caring to sit down and talk about it with him. I'm having a really hard couple of days with this (still at the stressed part, hoping to GET to the it is what it is stage), and it's nice to know I'm not alone. I think I'm going to have to call him soon and try to talk. Just not really sure what to say, you know? I really hope your dad comes and your day is just perfect. Sending lots of good thoughts your way

I can relate directly with parents/ family members trying to dictate how our wedding day should of been. All I can say is express how you feel but hold your ground and do not let anyone steal your joy. It is not about anyone but you and you FH. It is def a difficult situation but I believe you would be more upset with yourself if you allow your father to change your mind. You know what you want and what is best for you. His decision not to be there will be something he would have to deal with for the rest of his life.

Thanks for the advice, Shojuana and Brittany. You've all been incredibly supportive. Just an update on my situation: after about a month of not really talking, I called my dad yesterday and decided to make a bit of a compromise to make my dad happy. I'm going to have him start the walk with me, and then meet my stepdad halfway and have them both walk me to the end of the aisle. He sounded like that would work for him, so I do feel a little better. But there's still the issue of my stepmom--she's threatening not to attend. I feel like at this point, I'm going to let her make her decision and try not to worry too much about it. She's the one who will have to live with it. My mom and stepdad don't even know any of this is going on, because I don't want to put that burden on their shoulders. So for now, I guess we're moving forward with everything... it's just been such a painful thing to go through. I have to admit I still feel pretty resentful that any of this even happened. It's amazing to see how many of us there are out there. Sending lots of love to you girls, good luck to you.

Proud of you talking to him!! and I'm glad to hear that it might all work out for him to be there! You are completely right that she is the one that is going to have to live with it. In the end you will still have someone you really care about to walk you down and you will be getting married! I hope she comes to her senses once the day approaches, the beginning of this month I got into it with my step mom and dad because my last name wasn't on the invitation, when it was unintentional because I'm saving money and making my own. It's one of those projects I started and had to go back to it to finish and print. Well he told me he wasn't coming again and I told him it's sad and petty that he got mad about an invitation as well as my step mom called me a POS which I don't care about her input but my dad told me to grow up and I told him that the one needed growing up was him and to walk his only daughter down the isle well he then said F you to me and I hung up the phone.. Didn't talk to him until last weekend when he came up to me at my cousins party and apologized and said he wanted to be there and I told him I wanted him there and I forgive him but still doesn't mean that Im not upset, hurt or pissed I told him and the rest of his side of the family that if they wanted to be there to send in rsvps if I don't get them they aren't getting in. Simple as that because at this point I am over everything.. (Oh my aunt his sister got mad because her stamp was crooked -_- ) ridiculous. But I hope that everything goes to plan for your big day, make the most of it and I'll will be sending good prayers and vibes for you I'm glad I can help and you're not alone, if you need to vent or anything I am here!!

Thank you so much Brittany! I was just thinking of you and your situation this morning and I really hope everything went smoothly for you and your wedding was everything you dreamed of. I can't believe your dad's sister got upset for the stamp being crooked! (I sympathize; I designed my own invitations too! And I got some RSVP cards back and they were stamped upside down. Ha! People forget how easy it is to make a mistake, there's just so much to do!) I'm really glad your dad came up to you and apologized, you definitely deserved it. I hope that he showed up for you and you had a fabulous day. And you know, at this point, the most important thing is that you and your husband are good and happy, and that the two of you are your own new family now. You hope everyone else comes to their senses and wants to be a part of it, but if they don't, it's their loss. Sending lots of love and good wishes your way

(And for me, my dad and I are working on things... we just talked yesterday and everything seems to be good. It's still a bit shaky with my stepmom, but I did talk to her face to face a few months ago and she is coming now. So we'll see how everything happens at this point, we're in the home stretch of planning. Thank you so much for the prayers and good vibes, and being there to support me. I'm here, too. )