Covid postponing

If you are comfortable just seeing how things are in November, I would send our the full amount of save the dates and if you need to downsize, I would send cards to those who you're having to cut? We had a really big wedding planned but didn't want to risk paying for a huge wedding that we couldn't have so we just downsized and are planning it to be a smaller wedding of our dreams - it's saved a whole lot of stress!

The choice is completely up to you. If you have it in your head that you'll likely have to cut 60+ guests and you're okay with that, then go ahead and in invite all. However, logically, it makes more sense to send 75 and increase - you'd save money since you wouldn't have to send change of plans cards and vendors are almost always willing to work with you to increase your guest count, but may give you a harder time to decrease.
Personal experience: I sent save the dates to around 100 guests hoping things would open up and we're going to have to send change of plans cards to 35+ guests later this month. Some of those guests have told us they're so excited and we feel so bad having to cut them. If I could do it again, I would just send save the dates to the more realistic number of 50-60 and then if things did open up, send out more invitations than save the dates.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I feel like I would feel bad to have to cut people. I’m going to sit down and look at the list and see who we absolutely couldn’t live without having them there and then go from there! Thanks

I was having this dilemma back in October for my wedding in May. I decided to only send save the dates to our top 25 guests because that's what the restrictions were (and still are). While I'm still hopeful I can invite more than the 25 who got save the dates, I am soooo glad I didn't send everyone save the dates. My mom and future MIL reminded me back in October that save the dates aren't necessary and are a fairly new trend. I am feeling much better about sending only an invitation to a guest and have there be a slight possibility that they already have plans, than having to send out a bunch of "sorry I was being too optimistic and you can't come" cards. I know any of my guests would totally understand either way, but it helps me sleep better at night

View Quoted Comment Oooh that’s very true. I like this! Thanks

It's completely your choice. I personally would just cut the guest list now to 75. If you're a lot more optimistic then send it to the 140.

Planning a November wedding as well. I decided to send save the dates to everyone I’d invite as if normal. Then when invitations are set to sent I will reevaluate and send to those on a revised list depending on covid restrictions.

Personally, unless your wedding is a destination wedding, I would not send save the dates. With COVID, few people are making long term plans of the kind which would prevent them from attending your wedding, and frankly, if someone wants to attend your wedding, they will make sufficient arrangements to do so once being given the formal invitations.

That, and this scenario has issues to both sides; if you send save the dates to a portion of your guest list and later others find out that they were invited but didn’t initially get a save the date, they’ll feel like they’re the ‘B list’ guests. Similarly, if you send save the dates to all 140, you may have to explain to 65 people later on that they are not actually invited.

View Quoted Comment Ugh you make a good point too. I guess no save the dates! It makes more sense to not send them and keep feelings at bay than to send them and have to backtrack

View Quoted Comment So for those not in the 75 group do I send a we got married postcard in the mail? I’m trying to find a way to stream our wedding for those who really would miss out. I think that’s why I’m struggling to make a decision.

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Personally I wouldn't send 'we got married' correspondence. With social media, people know what is going on in each other's lives and there isn't really a need to announce things through more traditional channels such as post. That, and I don't like the idea of anything which suggests to someone 'I just got married, sorry you weren't invited'. But that's just my humble opinion!

It's up to you, we sent STDs to our core list of people we wanted to invite which is roughly 75 people. Our venue, if we're able to hold our wedding, would likely have to operate at 50% capacity which our current booking is lower than. If we have to cut people then we'll let everyone know on our website.

For you, you can send a STD out because you never know how November will look, but if you're still unsure then don't send anything out & only do invitations.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!!!

I think November is going to look VERY different from now.

Send out the whole STD list, and make sure you put COVID precautions/caveats on your website (put the website on the STD).

If things haven't changed, then you can make the call before you send out invites in September.