Covid brides - can we all just cry together??

I feel your pain! I had a 200 guest out of state wedding planned for October 30th 2020. We were pushing ahead to plan as normal as possible and our venue even said we would be good with new restrictions in place. But honestly the uncertainty was becoming too much with the stress already associated with wedding planning. I made the decision last night to host a micro ceremony in my hometown with 30 guests on our date and plan a wedding celebration for extended family at a later date. It absolutely sucks because now I am re-planning an entire micro wedding with 4 months to go.

My FH and I both work in healthcare and I work full time in a prison so were holding on to the fact that were both still healthy as the silver lining and that we will be married October 30th no matter what. I know its hard to feel that way though. It has taken me a solid month of lashing out and being emotional before I finally felt the relief of my micro wedding. Now I am excited again. Please give yourself time to feel sad. This isn't normal for anyone! Whether you decide on a big wedding or decide to postpone, I hope you find validation and comfort in it!

We are still moving forward as planned (Oct 17th). We had to switch the reception venue (due to it closing permanently from covid closures) but otherwise we're still planning as if nothing happened. For us, we decided that although we would want every single person there, a lot of our families are either older in age or considered high risk and if they feel it's safer for them at home, then that's okay. For us, the main goal is to have the ceremony to be a married couple - the reception is just an added bonus for us so we can say "we made it".

View Quoted Comment Thank you ladies!! Your responses meant to much to me. I appreciate hearing your stories and struggles and my heart goes out to everyone. I know we are all in this together and at the end of the day, we will have a wedding story like NO ONE else. Literally lol I actually truly felt better today and have a much brighter perspective on this now. Luckily, our venue is going to work with us anyway they can to make this wedding happen. If fewer people come, thats ok.. its more important to me to get married than have a big party and it will still be the day I envisioned regardless of who is there. Much love to you all!

Yeah, it's really the pits. I honestly try to forget about it, because when I think into the details too much I get incredibly anxious and sad. I always loved weddings and having all the friends and family together - the drinking and the dancing and the fun.
I just can't see how we can have fun and keep people safe. It's a crippling guilt and sadness.
We're set for September in VA, but I wish I could snap my fingers and undo all of it some nights. Tonight's one of those.

Feel the same way. im planning for my wedding but we still dont know when catering venues can open in my state. im just taking it day by day. silver lining is at least youre healthy and alive! i know thats cheesy but so true. and also youre engaged! some girls may have to wait a long time to plan a wedding. i think a lot will change by november

View Quoted Comment Yes!!! This 💯 %!

Yes I understand completely. We want to go ahead and get married as well and start a family. My FH is older than I am and his parents have been waiting for him to give them grandkids! Our wedding is July 19 and a lot of our guests are starting to cancel. We have many ideas for taking precaution at the wedding but of course some people are still hesitant. Some days I'm really excited because the day is getting closer! Other times I'm bothered that people are cancelling but then asking me to do virtual or saying they'll FT someone that's attending. I'm just ready for this to be over and I don't want to postpone. We're only 3 weeks away and it seems to late for that

View Quoted Comment Yes I wish you luck on your wedding day!

As someone who has had to postpone their wedding I first want to say I’m sorry, cry it out, take whatever time you need.


I have dreamed about my wedding but and I mean this to sound as caring as possible I have learned like a PP said Marriage is the most important thing.
I found peace in having my ceremony this year with just my parents and his and reception next year. And even thought I was crying for days about my party being pushed back and the fact that I didn’t even get to have my bridal shower or bachelorette party I have fallen TRUTHFULLY Fallen in love with my plan b of an intimate ceremony. It actually feels more about us.
A lot of family members and bridal party members were very opinionated in my wedding. And being able to do a plan B ceremony has actually brought me a lot of peace because Itis for Me and my FH not everyone else.
My best piece of advice is to plan for a plan b c d e f g whatever makes you feel at ease and then pick the plan that makes the most sense to you and your partner. Again I’m really sorry, this is not idea or the best thing you can do for you is to heal and move forward with what’s best for you.
💕

Girl! I feel you 💯 38 here too and these past few weeks have been stressful with all of the changes.

Our venue advised us that due to the 50% occupancy restrictions our limit is 24 guests whereas we were expecting to invite 30 something. Ok so worked through that hurdle of making decisions on the guest list. Invites are in the mail so that weight’s been lifted at least.
Now with other states seeing spikes in cases we’re so very nervous for the safety and well being of those who may attend...and then there’s the what if certain guests can’t/won’t come because they don’t feel safe. We discussed and decided on face masks and sanitizer as “favors.” We also have a plan B to just elope if push comes to shove and hopefully have a celebration next year. It pulls on so many heartstrings and I just want the people we love to be able to join us safely.

My wedding is Nov 14 & we are still moving ahead… our venue seats 400 & we were Only planning to invite 200. With the pandemic I expect people to self-disinvite, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up between 125-175 in terms of guests. We are at the age where we are ready to begin our family and postponing is the absolute last option. I live in Texas and I am so angry at how cases are skyrocketing because people aren’t taking this seriously. Even something as easy as wearing a mask has become a political issue, and now Texans are paying the price. Either way, even if we have to dial back the wedding to 25% capacity, we plan on having it. Hell, I think we would have it even if we could only invite 50 people. The only way that I see us postponing is if there is another complete lockdown in which gatherings are limited below 50 people. At that point, we would’ve paid so much in deposits to vendors that it would be a complete waste of money to go ahead with such a small wedding.

The silver lining is you marry the man you love. We got married at our house in May. That wasn’t what I spent over a year planning either, but in the end we just wanted to be married. I think too many people are making such a big deal out of the party and the “perfect wedding” that you’re missing the point. I could not be happier to be married and the decision we made.
Turn your focus to your marriage instead of the party. It’s disappointing for sure, I had a hard time being excited at the end of March when we didn’t know what was going to happen. Making a decision to get married at home and taking some control back of the situation made it easier to get excited and plan again
Good luck!

I totally understand! Wedding was suppose to be in June. I postponed for August 14, 2020. There’s more covid case now then in March in my city. I hate the uncertainty and I this point I don’t know what to do , if I won’t be able to have it in August. Hoping things will get better soon enough. At the end of the day it’s about marriage not always the party. But it hard when vendors are not being as flexible due to this circumstance. I hope things get better by your date too. And there will hopefully be a vaccine by that time 🤞

Girl it’s okay, don’t feel pressured to find the silver lining. I spent this weekend drinking wine spritzers, watching Say I do on Netflix, and crying because we finally postponed the last event still standing ( my Bach ) this week. My sparkling moment is that when we finally have our wedding, the vows will hit different.

How are you all dealing with people constantly saying you’re selfish? I was on the wedding planner Reddit forums and I’ve been downvoted when I asked for advice and attacked by so many people saying I don’t care if people die no matter how many times I explain I can’t cancel or that I’m doing everything I can to make it safe with restrictions and guidelines. It makes me so depressed.

View Quoted Comment Michelle - no one has said we are being selfish. I think that is unfortunate for friends and family who are. Perhaps they should educate themselves more on the virus and the actual likelihood of it killing everyone at a wedding. That idea is preposterous. Our wedding is filled with highly educated people - some of which are doctors - and no one has voiced their concerns or judgment about the wedding going forward (yet, anyway). If people are not comfortable coming, that’s on them. If it’s important for them to be there, it’s your decision to move forward or not. At the end of the day, this day is about you, not everyone else.

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That's good, my family hasn't made me feel bad either... but I feel that this is the only support I can find for wedding planning during all this. I've tried to avoid going on other forums since any topic I bring regarding planning a wedding reception and moving forward, I get so much hate for it. Hearing all the brides go through what I am really helps me keep it together during this time.

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I AM WITH YOU FELLOW NOV 14 BRIDE! & I feel all your feelings and more. It's soo stressful to plan a wedding amongst all this doom and gloom in the news. Wedding planning is supposed to be a joyous event and instead I'm wracked with guilt about planning my Nov 14 wedding. For me, I am in your same boat - I absolutely can't imagine postponing the wedding because I want to get started on a family ASAP. Postponing the reception is also not really an option because fingers crossed, if I get pregnant right after marriage I have no interest in being pregnant at the celebration. My wedding will be socially-distanced and full of masks. I figure that those that are uncomfortable will self-disinvite, and the people that are comfortable with it will be there. At the same time, I will try to keep everyone as safe as possible while celebrating marriage with my FH. And that's all I can do!

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately I do think a part of this is jealousy. I have found that *some* brides who have had to postpone their weddings tend to have the most negative things to say about me moving forward with mine. As others have mentioned in other topics, that Is why I don’t go on WeddingBee anymore. It’s brutal! I find it to be more supportive overall here on Wedding Wire. We all have to do what is best for us, with all factors considered, and try not to worry about the critics.

Mine is Nov 14 too. This time really is hard with uncertainty. I do plan on getting married whether it be 50 people or 10 people. I actually broke down and cried yesterday when I got a message from a friend cancelling their RSVP as I have had a few doing that because I live in a current hot spot of Phoenix. I feel helpless like nothing I can do. I work in healthcare so I try to educate people but it seems to have become political lately which is frustrating. I broke down because I am thinking why did I pay all this money just to have this kind of stress and uncertainty. I most definitely will have a back up plan and my fiance says I shouldn't make any changes yet because it is still too early and there is time. I was willing to wait to decide and I am usually a strong person but I seems to always have to be the strong one for everyone else breaking down and I think that is why I finally did yesterday. I feel better now. I know it will work out somehow no matter what and I also know that I will be happy no matter what happens because we will make the most of it. It took me a year and a half to plan this event I was proud of and now the plans are in shambles and I cannot imaging having something that isn't fun. I have decided if I have to I will just invite my local close friends and I am trying to come to terms with I might just have to dis-invite everyone else because I am tired of having that feeling in the pit of my stomach when someone else cancels. In the end all I really wanted was a mountain wedding with my family. I am just sad that my venue requires me to rent every single room to play music which was fine when everyone was coming but now that pretty much everyone else cancelled their rooms in the last few weeks I am trying to decide do I have my wedding there as planned and just pay it or do I take everyone to a hiking trail and have a small ceremony. It is so much stress to decide because I think everyone friends and family seem to have a different opinion. I don't mean to ramble but I really have no one else to talk to about it. I don't want to rain on anyone else's parade. But by golly I am getting married and that is something to be happy about and I don't really care about the details anymore.