Cousin didn't receive invite - help!

I would just tell your cousin that you heard they didn't get their invite and clarify that it must have been lost in the mail. Then resend the invitation. I don't know why someone would be mad at Grandma for letting you know they didn't get their invitation.

You need to specify on invitations who's invited to the wedding, so if older kids aren't invited, don't list their names. You might need to have a private conversation with everyone and tell them you aren't picking favorites, just following the rules of the venue and trying to accommodate for the breastfeeding cousin.

Why don't you do a group chat with your cousins and tell them how excited you would be to see them at the wedding? Mention that you hope their invitations arrived safely. That way no one is ratting out Grandma. You could also tell them that while the gallery doesn't allow children, infants are allowed.

I would just tell the cousin they are invited. Since Grandma knew they are, it's not drama for her to pass along the message. If they weren't I could see how she wouldn't want to be involved. If it's really touchy, have her pass the word back, either straight to cousin or through uncle, that of course they are, and they should reach out to you to confirm the address or whatever. You probably only just sent them out, so it's even possible that the invite has arrived in the meantime.

Just ask the cousin......

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Group chat is an excellent idea. I was thinking of doing this and just asking if everyone got their invites ok. But I guess I can say something like, "Hi everyone! I can't wait to see you at the wedding and I hope that your invites arrived safely. I wanted to reach out, since we have some new beautiful infants in the family, to let you know that your tiny babes are welcome. Unfortunately, there are no children allowed at the venue site, but the venue doesn't mind if you bring your infant along. Please let me know if you need anything!"

Thoughts?

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Sounds great!

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Yeah, that's what we were thinking too. We sent invites two weeks ago because my family is across the state and we have a bunch of over seas guests, too.

You know how whisper down the lane goes...uncle tells grandma in secrecy. Grandma tells mom. Mom tells me. We're just trying to get around it without disrespecting my grandma's wishes.

Just tell the cousin that you heard they didn't get an invite and tell them that you did send one and they are invited, confirm their address to ship them a new one or just ask them if they could just let you know if they will make it or not. It shouldn't cause drama if they are actually invited and it was just a mailing issue.

I would just reach out to the cousin directly and tell them you heard they didn't get an invite, double check the address and let them know they are very much invited and put another in the mail. Normally I would worry about confidentiality regarding how you found out but in this case, there is truly an issue with lost mail and it needs to be corrected.

As for the first question, you could call and ask her what she thought of the invitation and when she says she didn't get it, tell her that you sent it and will be sure to send another one! Also send her a picture of it right away so she can make the arrangements.

As for the kids, I would handle it on a one-on-one basis. "Hey so-and-so, I'm really glad you can come! I understand that since you are breast-feeding, the baby can't really stay with a sitter. I hope you feel comfortable bringing the baby, even though the invitation says no kids. It is a venue policy."

Can you say that the original invite was returned to you and that a new one is on it's way?

Hey everyone! So I solved the problem. I messaged everyone via group chat and said something to the effect of what I typed above. Nobody responded to me, but at least they have the information. Hopefully she responds and everything is ok. I can imagine some are POd because of the no kids policy, but hey, what can I do? I'm not going to waste my (last bit) of energy being stressed about it if I've done all that I can do.

Thank you for your input and help!

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Right, except for the fact that lying isn't "easy peasy", and what happens if it gets forwarded, or they somehow receive it despite the delay? If you would have read the comments I put two updates with the solutions I came up with and decided to solve the problem without lying to my family.

View Quoted Comment Haha what? This wasn’t about the kids. It was clear that kids weren’t invited on our rsvp cards. I took the responsibility for everything and am making sure everyone knows that they were invited. I’m not going to lie and tell someone that a stamp fell off, or disrespect my grandmother by blabbing to my cousin. And we’ve had the venue for over a year at this point. Loved ones have become pregnant and birthed their children in the meantime. It gave me the opportunity to make it clear that small, breastfed infants are allowed because they’re naturally apart of their mother at these stages of infancy. Happy women’s day, love.

Maybe just send a group message to all of the cousins and ask them if they all received their invites? Say that you have a friend who didn't receive theirs, so you wanted to make sure that there weren't others lost in the mail. Also maybe contact the post office and make sure it isn't caught up somewhere.

Edit: sorry, just saw that this was resolved! I'm glad that you got it worked out!