Courthouse-> Big Wedding

My husband and I had a small microwedding last October. We are doing our big celebration October 2nd of this year. Although it hasn't happened yet, I am just as excited if not more to be able to celebrate with our other family & friends. We didn't use our bridal party, do a bouquet toss or anything like that at the microwedding so I'm excited about that this year. I don't regret having a microwedding at all!

I think this is a very personal issue that will vary significantly from one person to another. Personally, I have not seen good results with doing the courthouse/small wedding with a large celebration after. One of my cousins who was affected by covid exchanged vows in her parent’s backyard with only parents and siblings present. The plan was to have the big celebration with family and friends once it was safe. Well, the big day came, and the turnout was LOW. Unfortunately, most people simply regarded it as a party since they were already married. A second cousin postponed once, then when Covid surged again and they realized they were going to have to postpone again, they decided to do a micro wedding and have the big celebration later. Well, life happened, and they got pregnant. They have since canceled the big wedding in order to save money for the baby and buying a house. She is still pretty bummed about not waiting to have the wedding she really wanted. Finally, a friend of mine was to be married to a military man who ended up getting deployed. They decided to get married at the courthouse before he left, with the intentions of having a big wedding later. Their celebration is in 6 weeks, and she is really regretting her decision. I have had numerous calls from her in tears because it isn’t the experience she had dreamed of for her wedding. She says there is no excitement or anticipation because she is already married. It just feels like an expensive and stressful party.
I had actually contemplated doing the same thing, but after seeing firsthand so many people it didn’t work out well for, plus the many stories I’ve read on here of brides who were disappointed after, I decided to just bite the bullet and postpone. The way I see it is, this is a once in a lifetime experience, and I do not want to look back with regrets! That being said, I have also read stories here on WW of brides who are content with their decision! I think you just need to be honest with yourself about what is truly important to you. Do you think you will be as excited walking down the aisle to your SO knowing you are already married? Will you be disappointed if there is a low turn out if people do not make the effort to show up because “eh, who cares, they’re already married”? Will you be disappointed if you and/or FH think it would be more financially responsible to cancel the wedding since you are already married? If so, it might be wise to just wait for “the real deal”. It’s important to also ask yourself why you are thinking about doing the micro wedding now and postponing the big celebration until later. Is there a pressing reason for you to marry now (such as deployment, illness, dying family member, needed insurance benefits, etc.)? If so, a micro wedding may be a better choice. It really just comes down to your personal situation and feelings. Ask yourself the hard questions, be honest with your answers, and listen to your gut.

Hi Hailey! There are tons of couples who did this due to covid and still had a spectacular big wedding day!!

Here are a few discussions you can check out where other couples have shared their experiences with having two weddings:

Married now wedding later

The Big Wedding -what to call it?

Reception Fear

How to build excitement for Wedding Part 2?