Reception Fear

So many brides had to change their plans due to Covid. My sister in law got married in their backyard with only a few people present, and they are hosting the big wedding this July. They are out of state, and tons of people are traveling from NJ to NC for the wedding because it's still their wedding, even if they already got married a year ago.

Sorry, hit send before I was done. Those that love you want to celebrate you. They will be there. You could also even do a whole ceremony as part of the reception.

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much Hannah. For some reason I just have sky high anxiety about it.

Are you doing a vow renewal or reception only? I think guests would be so excited to see your ceremony and you might enjoy since you were robbed out of the big full experience. But I bet a lot will still attend a reception only—the drinks, food & fun!

I think people may not try *quite* as hard to make your party date as they would a typical wedding, but overall I think people understand that COVID really threw a wrench in some things. I'm generally very anti small ceremony/big reception (in normal times, I just don't get it and think it's a little gift grabby) but I cannot wait to attend a close friends reception in December that they had to cancel in 2020 at the last minute due to COVID restrictions. They still got married with immediate families, but moved the party back a year. That's not their fault at all and was not the event they originally planned - same in your case!! I know it's hard, but try not to worry too much. Have fun planning your party and celebrating your marriage with your friends and family

As long as you are honest with your guests and call it a celebration rather than a wedding (which took place when you signed paperwork), your guests will happy to attend and share in your joy.

At the same time, it comes across as disrespectful (even unintentionally) for someone to say a legal elopement is not a valid wedding toward those who may have chosen to go that route.

Be cautious of putting stock in the remarks like "oh, you're so lucky you didn't have to plan a wedding!" I don't think your guests are saying this the way you may be interpreting it (that you shouldn't bother with planning a big party) - I think they are thinking this is a comforting thing to say. They are afraid of piling on by saying, "yeah, it really super sucks you had to cancel the wedding of your dreams," even though that probably really is the better and more empathetic response.

Your loved ones love you and want you to feel better, and when presented with an unknown situation (like having a dream wedding canceled by a pandemic) they will default to "LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!" because they aren't really equipped to empathize with it.

Have your party. Your loved ones will come. I agree with Pirate Bride that you may even consider making it a vow renewal, so they can share in that experience with you. But no matter what you do, they will come.

I have 2 friends (2 separate weddings) that had small, private ceremonies last year. I would LEAP at the opportunity to celebrate with them in the future !! One had been booked before, but was promptly pushed back to 2022. They just got married on what would have been their original wedding date, last month. I’m not sure if that was in place of the next year wedding and they decided to scrap the big event, or if they just wanted to get married as scheduled but still want to big to do. I HOPE it’s that they just went official in advance and will still do the party, because as a guest and a friend, I want to go !!!
The other friends were more impromptu, and never had a big event scheduled, but when they announced they had married they said they’d plan to do a reception with everyone eventually. Again I so hope they do, because as a friend, I really want to celebrate with them!

I hope this is a bit reassuring. Covid hasn’t made your loved ones care any less about your marriage. If someone wanted to celebrate with you, that sentiment doesn’t just disappear !

I got married in October with only about 20 of our close family members. I am having my reception June 5th and out of 130 people 82 have rsvped so far. I say do it.

In 2019 i actually went to a reception only in october but that couple was already married in may 2019. there was a really good turnout because people want to celebrate that with you!

I got married this past October with only 23 people (family, MOH and best man) and am having my reception this October. I had the same thoughts, but honestly, if that's what you want to do, I say do it!! I think we all deserve to have the wedding we always dreamed of, even if it's not exactly how we pictured. Since having to deal with Covid, my mind set has been "It is what it is" and just rolling with it. After the year we had, so many people just want to be able to have FUN! And go to a party!! We are calling it a celebration of marriage on our invitations rather than a wedding since we're already married and we plan on celebrating hard! It shouldn't matter when the celebration happens, just as long as you get to do it with the people you love. I don't think you should be concerned about whether people will come, they will! Everyone that I talk to is SO excited and they all say they can't wait to just have a good time and have a release after this past year. My brother and sis in law are doing the same thing, getting married this June then having the reception next May. It's much more common than you think and becoming a trend because of the damper Covid put on all our weddings! I say enjoy celebrating your marriage, you deserve what everyone else gets to have!