Cookie cutter weddings ? (hotels vs private venue hire)

A wedding is a wedding is a wedding. No matter where you have it, it will still look like a wedding. Hotels that do weddings don't do them next to the pool. Not all hotels restrict vendors. Everything you've listed as potential issues are things that can very easily be sorted out with a couple of questions and reading through contracts before you sign them.

This depends on how big of a wedding you are planning. Ours is just 35-50 people, so we're renting out and entire B&B. It's a gorgeous location, and they have great food, so we don't have to worry about finding another place for ceremony or reception or whatever.

Personal opinion; I find hotel weddings a convenience if you have a lot of people coming from out of town. I have a lot of guests coming from out of state and country, and it's just easier to have them stay at a hotel and they can just go down the elevator to the venue. But I live in Atlanta, there really isn't too much to see during late autumn, and people would rather just get to the venue ASAP.

However, I was more impressed with other private venues. It's more memorable in my opinion. I went to a few destination weddings, and we enjoyed walking around regardless. So if you were to do a private venue for a destination wedding, it'll be beautiful

I had a hotel wedding and yes, felt it was "cookie cutter." We were on a budget though, and unique=$$$$ in the wedding world. It worked for us, and at the end of the day, we're just as married!

We had a hotel wedding, but it was almost 100 years old and had unique architectural details, a fabulous reputation and service, sumptuous food, etc. It was important that our guests have a place to sleep over, if they desired, and they booked over 50, discounted rooms.

P.S. My uncle was a having a public Facebook discussion with a friend, a year later, and referred to my wedding as a "stale event-phony." A totally WTF moment, since his daughter's wedding was in an alumni hall of a university. The reception room reminded me of a carpeted gymnasium and I won't get into the food ...

Here's a photo of the ballroom, but not our wedding:

I personally am not a big fan of hotel weddings because I work in the industry. There are about 10 of us at work that are engaged and planning weddings, but none of us are getting married in a hotel. I think a lot of the glamour has worn off since we're in a hotel all day, every day and most of the weddings are the same. It is harder to make it unique, but it does have its perks like not worrying about your guests driving home. Also, having everything bundled in the package can be very cost effective and less stressful. There are also some really beautiful and unique hotels that offer you the best of both.

A unique venue was pretty much #1 on our list, so we were willing to spend extra money for it. IMO it sets the tone for the whole day.

You just have to set your priorities. If convenience is more important, go with the hotel. If "uniqueness" is more important, find a venue you love.

I think it would be best to just decide what is most important to you, then find somewhere that can give you as much as possible. a all inclusive place can be great for many, but for me it would have been a nightmare. after a few months of trying to do things by the book, i realized that I would be happier walking down the Denver 16th street mall by music played by a street musician, followed by cake and food and one of the many restaurants. No matter what the gown looked like, long as I made it myself, that's what I wanted due to my husband's law off and just not liking anything I could find in my budget, I made the wedding cake too. not something I would suggest to anyone normally, but in the end it made us happy

everything I did for me wedding was considered unusual by many. and I can be a control freak, so there was no way I could have ever had a wedding at a place where you can just pick from what they offer.

I picked a old inner city church and did it all my way.

but this isn't the sort of thing most anyone would have been comfortable with. I had it all my way, but I had to deal with a lot of not really knowing exactly what would be what until a few weeks ahead. the kind of conditions I'm used to doing most anything by, but even then it was hard sometimes, not knowing what would be what.

I agree with another poster that a wedding is a wedding is a wedding no matter where it is. Depending on the overall feel you want for your wedding a hotel may work better. I think hotel weddings are more formal. Personally, hotel weddings are expensive in my area (DC). It is less expensive to go with a manor, which is what we decided to do. I would have been happy with either. I think you can make either space yours.

Man it makes me salty as hell when people refer to traditional wedding venues as cookie cutter.

My wedding is in a hotel. It's not cookie cutter. They decorate and set everything up as you want it to be. If your wedding ends up being "cookie cutter" it's your own doing no matter where you get married.

We chose our hotel because there was a beautiful ceremony and reception space so people didn't have to travel twice and could stay right there instead of worrying about driving home.

I think it's all based on your priorities. When FH and I were looking, we liked some of the unique venues but we would have had to cut our guest list to accommodate most of them. And to us, a hotel was ideal given we have a large number of out of state guests and I wanted to remove the hassle (in my mind it's extra stress) of moving around between locations. We settled on a hotel for ceremony and reception but will be doing the cocktail hour on the terrace to get a little change of scenery. I would argue against hotels being "cookie cutter" though. It's all what you make of your space!

Thanks for all your input! You all made valid points I will definitely consider.

This is a long shot but did anyone of you go to a European island wedding by any chance (i.e. Santorini, Rhodes, Cyprus) and can share their experience ?

I haven't had my wedding yet so I can't tell you how it went - but I had the same struggle and ended up choosing the hotel. In an ideal world I would have gotten married at a botanical gardens, but it was more difficult to put together, possibly more expensive, and less convenient for my guests since the majority don't live in our city.

Also, the hotel offered a great package deal with lots more food options than we could otherwise have afforded. We have to pick their food, but they have a TON of options, and are really happy to work with you to make it special if that's what you want.

Our hotel lets us do most of whatever we want for decorating, so we still can get a lot of our vision incorporated

There are definitely a lot of positives for a hotel wedding, especially when most guests are coming from out of town. Both of my sisters had hotel weddings (Annapolis and Seattle), and neither felt cookie cutter to me. They were gorgeous and felt like it was made perfectly for each of them.

I am not doing a hotel wedding, because like @therightLane, both my FH and I come from the hotel industry, and we don't want to get married where we work.

If you decide on a hotel wedding, just make sure you like the food from they offer because most will not let you bring in an outside caterer. At the hotel I worked at, they were pretty flexible with other vendors though (cake, rentals, dj, band, etc.) If the ceremony is on the property, you may have people stop and watch or take pictures, and unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. In the end though it is totally up to your style! I think either option would be gorgeous! Good luck!

@Eileen make a new thread with your honeymoon questions.

I ran into this same dilemma while I was venue shopping, and while I realized the all inclusive venue was super helpful and less stress, FH decided on a nice DIY venue so we could personalize all the details and food, drinks, etc. It is more work but I feel like the wedding we designed will be so "us". It is really depending on how much work you would like to put into it.

@Staci: What honeymoon questions ? I didn't have any.

I don't like hotel weddings or all inclusive. Typically they give you a list of what to choose from ... a unique venue will allow you to do and incorporate your own thing! Plus (in my area) non all inclusive weddings are less expensive!

Having a unique non-cookie cutter venue was a priority for us. We ended up going with an amazing venue that does a few weddings a year but definitely isn't a wedding factory. I LOVED our venue, the location was amazing right on the river, and we received a lot of compliments from guests.

However there were downsides. The staff were less helpful, and didn't do much other than unlock the venue then sit in the office all night after arriving late. The venue only provided tables and chairs, and didn't even have a kitchen. We had to bring in everything else, which was doable but expensive. We provided a shuttle to a near by hotel, so no one had to drive, but again added expense.

At the end of the day, I think it was totally worth it, but it was a lot of added work and added expense.

I just found out that some of the hotels I had previously checked will have reps at the National Wedding Show in London this year. Since I will be going anyway I plan on bothering them with all my questions there. That hopefully helps us decide if we want a resort or manor style wedding.