Commitment Ceremony issues

Yup, what FutureMrs.B said. These things also vary by state, please seek local advice. Best of luck!

I feel like using the words "commitment ceremony" in your invitations and omitting and references to marriage / wedding /etc is sufficient. Does your mom want you to put an additional disclaimer in? People know what a commitment ceremony is and that it doesn't equal a legal marriage.

ETA: clarity

Call it a wedding. My aunt had to do this. They never got the license nor turned it in. Nobody was the wiser. It's common in my family for not changing their names

If it looks like a wedding in photos or video that may appear on social media, you may get quizzed by SSI.

Don't wear a white dress, don't have a ceremony in a church. Have a backyard BBQ, invite friends over, and have your commitment ceremony.

I recently was contacted by a woman who wanted a commitment ceremony but wanted me to say it was a wedding even to the point of lying to her children. I told her I would not do that.

I had another couple from out of state who wanted a commitment ceremony with no guests. They agreed I would not mention husband, wife, or marriage. She showed up in a white wedding gown and had a pro photographer. I'm sure they are showing their 'wedding' pictures back home.

Once again I never said I was going to call it a "wedding". Nor was I going to use the words Mr and Mrs. These officiants posting don't seem to understand what I am saying, I am not trying to fool anyone nor am I trying to "pass" as married. I don't want to have a backyard BBQ instead of a wedding Nancy. I didn't ask to get diagnosed with lupus and cancer at age 20. I have just as much of a right as everyone else to wear a pretty white dress and celebrate my relationship with my boyfriend. It's not my fault our healthcare system is so messed up that I have to do it like this. As far as SSI goes they are fully aware that I am engaged, as long as a license isn't filled they cannot dispute whether I am married or not.

Sarah, I think your issue is more with your mom than with us. She seems to think that you need to have some giant disclaimer; I'm just teling you how I have handled these situations in the past.

I"m sure this is immensely frustrating to you, on top of having to battle multiple diseases; I really can't even imagine what that is like.......

Your original plan was just fine. Your mom, sorry, is trying to swat a fly with a sledge hammer.

Good luck to you

We are in a similar situation. It's so stupidly complex. Everyone should just be able to have equal rights AND healthcare.

I would be open about what you are doing, and call it a commitment ceremony. People will understand (and be angry with you). I don't know the logistics of doing that, and then getting married "later." We are getting married, because FH can then be on my insurance but will lose his SSI It is such a Catch 22.

Either way, I wish you both happiness, and know you are not alone in this healthcare mess!

Messed up system...sorry you are dealing with this. As a guest that is close to the couple, I'd appreciate it being called what it is (commitment ceremony) n would love to share the couple's day. As a guest, I would still treat it as a wedding (gift the same, etc).