Cocktail Hour War!

Cont.

- My parents aka "The bankroll" doesn't feel that a cocktail hour is necessary and since they didn't have one at their wedding therefore.... (I also point out that they dismissed for 6 hours between their ceremony and reception so their guests could see the national park they married in)

- My FIL's seem to not be on board with the idea totally, but did go out and by 200 mini forks for the "cheese tray" after FH mentioned it the first time.

- Also worth mentioning, the only alcohol in the budget right now is wine. So a "cocktail" for cocktail hour would most likely not be there (although I have thought of doing a signature drink with house vodka and only having the one cocktail). And about half of our guests don't drink at all (from a family of alcoholics that are recovering)

So ladies, time to weigh in.

Do you think a cocktail hour/appetizers is super important?

Yes, if you want to use that time for pictures. Regardless you limited choices that you may offer, what else are the guests going to do while the couple is away taking pics? So whatever it is, there should be something for them to do.

We have lots planned for them to do, it's more about whether the extra cost of food is necessarily.

We have games, and are making a photo booth. We are also have our ceremony band staying for that hour so there will be live music as well... It's just about the food and cocktails that are causing such a war.

OK, can you provide some soda/lemonade/maybe wine? Then at 4:30 you can probably skip the food, and some beverages wouldn't be too expensive?

True, beverages wouldn't be expensive....

I keep thinking vodka's not expensive either and makes great cocktails... gawh... this is something that should have been agreed on months ago... 4 months to go and we are still arguing about this.... ridiculous. Should have eloped ;-)

Thanks Mrs. S

Anyone else have great suggestions that I can bring up? I am gong to have my mother and FMIL in the same house today for hours so I can talk to them both about it at the same time.

If you are going to serve alcohol. It is best to serve food as well. To keep the expense on the alcohol down, come up with a signature drink or two (vodka based). A veggie tray, fruit and cheese tray, bowl of pretzels, peanuts etc. cost should not be that much and is very nice for your guests.

D1, that's a great idea!

Cocktail hour isn't really about cocktails it's about timing and socializing. If there is downtime people need something to eat and drink while they mill around, even if you have activities for them to do. It doesn't have to be fancy at all- veggie fruit cheese cracker trays, lemonade and iced tea, would be totally fine! Great suggestions from pps.

Yes it's 4:30 but when people stand around at a party they suddenly get hungry and thirsty no matter what the time of day. It's just a party fact. Socializing kicks our munches into gear. I don't know why, it just does.

Oh OK! That explains why I weigh 483,826 lbs! Too much social life. Le sigh. I knew I wasn't the one to blame.

I was going to suggest cheese/cracker/meat platters, etc like D1 - thats what we did and our budget was just under $5k. =]

And I totally agree with Kris ^^.

I was recently at a wedding where we had to wait about an hour or so (so not too long, really) and they had Hors d'oeuvres but they only had TWO people mingling through like 100 people. Not enough food. We were starving by the time we were allowed into the reception hall to sit. And they were serving alcohol at this time, so some people were getting a little tipsy.

Haha! You are so full of it you do not.

It's true though right? I can be totally full but when I walk into a room of people I want to find the drinks and see the snacks as i make my first lap. Maybe I'm just shy and it's a social crutch or something, this is probably why I used to smoke at parties. Gave me something to do.

I don't think it's just me though!

I'm in the same situation you are in.....big wedding small budget! There is no way around it either since both of FH & I family is huge. My immediate family is 65 people! Point is my family can eat so I'm not sure what I'm going to do but I'm leaning towards cocktail hour since weddings at 4 reception at 6:30 and we take pics after the wedding.

No no, it's not just you, we always do that too :-)

I was hoping I could blame genetics, but unfortunately everyone in my family is stick thin. So this is just AWESOME! Maybe I should have fewer friends. OR my family just stole the skinny genes?!? Hmmmm.....

Lol.

You know op another thing you can do is get some photos done before the wedding to make the time shorter. Not seeing each other, but with your separate bridal parties, family members, etc. then you have fewer to take afterwards. Just another thought.

And make your fh stop watching four weddings! Trust me nothing good can come of that.

Very true.

Also, tell your family that a cocktail hour really isn't necessary, but it just makes the flow of events so much better. People are much more likely to socialize and mingle than once you start the meal and dancing.

I agree with others - you can probably DIY (or DISE - Do It Someone Else) some food for cocktail hour. cheese tray, crackers or bread, veggie or fruit, bowls of nuts and pretzels, salsa and chips, bruschetta, etc., so people can munch, socialize, drink and not get too drunk, and stay happy while you are doing your pics. I totally think you could have the best of both worlds - cocktail hour and still stay in budget.

I totally agree w/ Kris. Empty time makes people scratch their heads & say, WTH? Yes, you are having a photobooth etc, but the line for each is going to be quite long for 125. What are they supposed to do when they are standing in line? What if they don't want to enjoy your activities ?Coctail hour is just that, cocktails & snackies for the hr you are getting pics taken.

Re the booze - f you are having wine, you really should have a sig drink & a keg of beer. Some people, particularly men, are not wine drinkers. If you dont have a lot of drinkers in your family, just have a a couple of cases.

Re the food - cheese/crackers; vegies and dip; fruit tray and dip; are inexpensive if you hit Sam's Club or BJs.

To be honest, as a guest, I would prefer food & drink than a photo booth.

The other possibility is to get rid of all alcohol & be a bit more generous on the appies. Serve soft drinks, bottled water & mocktails.

(Cont'd)

If you are indicating anything on your invites, and you are not serving booze, I wouldn't refer to it as a "cocktail hour", I would refer to it as a "social hour". This way noone comes expecting booze.

You can amp up your "social hour" by getting personalized water bottles from Oriental Trading(they are super inexpensive & suprisingly waterproof). You can also do some personalized straws for your softdrinks/mocktails. They are very inexpensive to make.

Good luck.

Amy V's option is also a really practical option. : )