clueless on what to do about my close friend that backed out of my wedding.

You should talk to her. I had a friend of 30 years back out. It happens. But it shouldn't kill a friendship. Call her.

I'm confused...why did she back out?

Money problems and boyfriend problems

I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding, I drove to california to go to the Davids bridal their when I live in AZ and we have plenty of them. I tried talking to her when it got closer to the wedding to find out about rehersals and what time everything was at and did not get an answer from her until after everything was over then by that time I was over the whole thing and she ended up telling me to not bother to come to the wedding. So I was stuck with a $140 dress that was never worn, never altered with tags still on it sitting in my closet that i cant return. and now 3 years later we arnt even friends anymore she deleted me from facebook a little over a year ago.

You offered to pay though... :/

Something is going on and I think you should address it.

Yes we did offer to pay. The first time she told me she didn't know if she could afford it I did address her and told her we can pay and help her in anyway we could. She said she would think about it and let me know. After a couple of weeks when she had a boyfriend she said she was in. After they broke up she said she didn't know. This went on for a month and then finally a week before we had dress fittings I told her I needed to know in a couple of days and thats when she told me she was out.

Why did she unfriend you on Facebook? I feel like there has to be more to the story.

I'm with Ms.A something is off. Is she jealous that you are getting married?

I have no clue. Saturday I had engagement pictures posted from my photographer. A girl I knew had posted "your pictures are cute how is wedding planning going" and I just responded "its good a little stress and had some drama but other then that good." That was not directed towards her I have had drama with my brother and other drama towards wedding guess. She knew I had drama go on with my brother and wedding guess. So I don't know but, as of sunday we were friends and then monday no longer friends. Yes I am mad at her but I was never going to delete her from my facebook page thats just childish. But her doing that it tells me she no longer wants to be my friend.

I think she is jealious. When we were getting along we would go eat and hangout and we would talk about our relationship problems we would just talk about her guy problems. When I would try to give her advice she would cut me off and tell me this was different from her situation. Every time I would talk about me and my fiance she would always roll her eyes and cut me off. I didn't mean anything by it thats why I am skeptical about reaching out to her. If she is going to be jealious of me the rest of my life its not worth getting treated like that.

Weddings show you who your true friends are. My best friend who was my MOH just randomly stopped talkin to me we got in an argument about the wedding style she made fun of my ideas and i told her it hurt me then she just randomly stopped talking to me so i cut her from my life you dont need to deal with stress when your already stressing about planning so I have a new MOH who was originally one of my bridesmaids she stepped up and is making my experience perfect. sometimes you need to cut ties in order to breath ..

Wow, sounds like a lot of people have experienced this. i also experienced this, except i was the on the other end offering to back out to make things easier. i was shipped to basic training a week after my best friend got engaged so for 6 months she had her office friends help her with all the planning....by the time i got home there was really nothing left to do and i was playing catch up the whole time. i had changed while i was away at training and she had began confiding in other people. . . I felt really awkward being the MOH for her and offered to let this other office friend take my spot. She didn't listen to anything I suggested and things I offered to do were already done. After her wedding we didn't speak for a year and a half. We literally just had coffee for the first time last month. I think weddings just bring out the truth in people, whether its the best or the worst. It sucks bc its "supposed" to be the best time of your life but its so incredibly stressful too.

I hope you'll update your avatar (the rings) to a unique picture so we can remember you and help you more in the future. This post tells you how to do that and more about the forums: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/new-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-before-you-post/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

If she is jealous, doubt she'll be jealous the rest of your life. My sister acted much the same way and I simply stopped talking about the FH for a few months and gave her time to adjust. And she did. Some people just need to get it in their heads and once they do, the friendship can go on.

The thing is, if you don't talk to her you won't know. is this friendship worth working having? if it is, talk. if not. Don't.

If she was such a close friend you picked her as a BM, isn't she worth a phone call to see what's up? Yes, you're mad that she backed out, but it sounds like there's a lot going on for her, and she may be hurt that you aren't able to hear that cause you're so focused on your wedding. So give her a call, don't mention your wedding, and say you miss her.

If she was close enough to be a bridesmaid, I'd call her. Tell her you are sorry you have been so selfish and absorbed in the wedding planning (true or not, an apology opens doors!). Say you know she's been having a difficult time, and you really want to be there for her and find out what is going on. No more wedding talk- just find out what is up with her. Because it sounds like there is plenty going on you aren't aware of.

I know that offers to pay are often the right thing to do, and I commend you for it. But sometimes it can feel like a slap in the face... Oh, you can't afford it? Not only can I afford all this other stuff, I can pay for yours too... If she is sensitive to her financial situation, that may have seemed like it judgemental when that was far from your intentions.

But I'd make a phone call, and make it all about HER. No wedding talk, just an "I miss you" call.