Changing your last name? Why/why not?

I’m changing my name to FH’s name. While I don’t think my name sounds super great with his, I really think it’s because I’m used to my three syllable last name and his is only one.

t’s always been important to me to share a last name with my husband when the time came around and he has a lot of attachment to his last name. While I am a little sad to be giving up my last name, I’m really excited to take his last name as our family name!

I am the opposite, my last name is long and people always find a way to mispronounce it. I too don't really have the greatest relationship with my father and I don't have an extreme connection to my last name.

I like the idea of joining my FH and us becoming a unit by me sharing his last name and eventually the same last name as my children.

My mom made her last name my middle name (which is what my family does), so I would have an incredibly long name if I hyphenated my last name with my new one.

I am a little bit more on the traditional side though so some may not agree ☺️ I hope that helps.

If it has no meaning to you I wouldn’t go through the hassle. I’m personally taking my FH’s last name because 1) he would like me to and 2) which is the most important reason of all, I no longer have any attachment to my last name because of all the craziness I’ve had to deal with from that side of the family. It will feel like I’m shedding the drama if that makes any sense. Whatever decision you make, just make it for yourself!

I'm changing my last name to FH's last name! I couldn't imagine not taking his last name. It just makes things us seem more like "one" (a unit).

Not changing my name (at least legally). I'm a physician and the amount of paperwork and fees involved to do so is astronomical (in addition to the regular SS/driver's license, etc). My patients will still call me Dr. Maidenname anyway. FH and I agreed people can call me Mrs, Marriedname in social circles-but that will definitely take some getting used to.

I am changing my name to his, completely dropping my current name. I just want to have the same name as him and our future kids, and it helps that he has a very good last name lol. I am graduating law school after we get married so I am able to have his last name on everything. If I were to graduate before we get married I might consider keeping mine for professional reasons because it would be a huge hassle.

You should see if he will change his! I always said if I didn’t like my FHs last name I’d do that lol. I know my sister hates her last name now, (it really is just awful) and I keep joking about how she should’ve kept ours.

I did, but it really wasn't an option to not (for me personally). We want children and I don't want them dealing with not having the same last name as both their parents, and we have a close friend who has a hyphenated last name and it's been the BIGGEST pain for him so we would never do that. For me, it symbolizes us joining as one family. But we are both old school with that tradition.

I changed to an unpronounceable impossible to spell 11 letter last name 🤷🏻‍♀️. It was just something I always wanted to do, I like being a little
family with the same name. It was always my plan but H’s name DEFINITELY gave me pause. I felt almost stupid voluntarily taking such a ridiculous last name, but.....I still don’t regret it . I love being Mrs. dhdhdxyzhdhdj 😘

Lol bash enough letters and a kissy face comes
out! Hahah

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I think my name sounds funny with FH’s last name too! 😂

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That’s very sweet, not silly at all!

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Haha I mentioned that route once in conversation, and he was not amused 😂

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Thats kind of what I’ve been leaning toward, going by Mrs. in social settings but keeping my name professionally. It’s my identity, it’s how people know me... I can only image the hassle to change everything as a physician!

Thank you everyone for the amazing feedback! This will be something to think about over the next year, but you all have been super helpful. I appreciate you sharing your decisions with me!

View Quoted Comment Same here lol

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Well I'll trade you, mine is Newhart...Yes, like Bob Newhart. Yes, I am related to him. No, he doesn't associate with the rest of the family. I just go on autopilot HAHA.

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Yeah it isn’t even worth it, patients still call you the same thing!

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I am divorced from the dad of my kids, happily remarried, and I have two sons. I I willingly changed my name. Like the above poster, I am moving forward. I know who I am, and I am good with that.

People have a hard time with both my first and last names (they're not even that long, just unusual). My FI has a very simple, very common surname (top 20 in the US). I'm planning to take the most complicated route and hyphenate It seemed like the only way to fundamentally keep my identity but still give a nod to my new family. I've seen people move their maiden name to the middle, but it always ends up getting "lost"/forgotten. I'm still going to be alphabetized under my own name, it's just going to be longer. And yes, I'm going to go by that socially as well - no Mrs. Hislast for me.

It sounds like you could go either way. Good luck!

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I’ve seen the maiden changed to the middle, but funnily enough, I feel like I identify more with my middle name than my last! My name sounds very odd hyphenated with his, so I would likely just keep one and go by Mrs. in certain situations (if I don’t change it]. Kudos to you for going with the hyphenate!