Changing Wedding Date?!? RANT*

Since you already blocked out the houses and are renting them, you should not ask your guests to repay you to help foot the bill. That is not right. You should not have booked them in the first place if money was a concern. Not trying to be rude, just saying how it is.

You can't please everyone. If it was thier priority they would make it after you tried to accomodate. If your not a priority you can't make them one. Don't change your date its your day afterall and postponing a while year was generous enough.

That is definitely a tough spot to be put in. I hope all works out for you. Only change if that's your heart desire for them to be there and be VERY clear about a new date. Also maybe this will give more saving time so you don't have to charge the guests to attend? And maybe grandparents will contribute since you're changing it for them?

Alicia, I agree with you, do not change the date. Things happen no matter when the date is, there is not going to be a perfect date for anyone. Your grandparents made the choice not to attend. Just move forward.

You've had this date for 2 years now and already have vendors booked which I'm assuming all have non-refundable deposits. I wouldn't change the date. If they choose not to go, they're the ones that will miss out.

I'm going to first point out the Alicia (the original poster) has said like 3-4 times she doesn't want to charge guests, it was a suggestion for FH parents.

I'm glad you decided not to change the date. There are always people that will have other plans. The fact that you changed it once is more than enough to me. Your grandparents could choose to come to your wedding instead of school reunion, to me, they are the ones being selfish.

Sorry you're going through so much nonsense.

Glad you decided not to change the date. Im sure all the ladies here love you and all but im sure we would much rather see it say married then a wedding date set 5 yrs from now.

Sucks you have so much crazy going on!!!

Wouldn't the guests have to pay their own way on the ferry anyways? I don't think people are looking at it as a DW (hence the comments about how you shouldn't charge your guests). What you're doing is planning on covering the cost of travel and accommodation for all your guests, which is incredibly generous. Even if you "charge" your guests $50, they're still getting an excellent deal because they aren't fully paying for transportation or accommodation for your wedding. I get wanting to not charge anything, but I don't think people telling you it's rude is on the mark either. By that same token, anyone having a DW should be paying for their guests' travel costs, which is completely ridic.

Can't please everybody. If people want to make it they will find a way.

Don't change it. Don't charge anyone. Keep everything as is and in a few months this won't even be an issue anymore.

If the ferry costs money to ride, they can pay the ferry people.

but if it also pays for your wedding events, then you pay for it.

its like they pay for the cab to your house, but they don't pay for the cab and your heating bill.

I had to change my wedding date and it was not a fun experience. I will undoubtedly have some family who can't swing it for some reason or another, but that's just the way things go. FH and I plan to have a party back east (the wedding is in CA) for all those who couldn't make it to the wedding. I suggest doing something like that if family not making it is a big issue.

I'm glad you're not changing your date, it sounds like the grandparents are being rude. They should have known about your wedding. Okay maybe they're old and don't remember stuff, but they should have at least remembered they have a commitment in the summer of 2015. Then when they decide to book some trip you'd think they'd be like "oh let's make sure it's not the same weekend as the wedding". It just sounds like you're not very high on their priority list so don't make them a priority and change the date for them. I think they are incredibly rude for planning something else that doesn't even seem like that big of a deal. It really sucks though that you moved the wedding already and now you may as well had it this past summer. Ugh I'm mad for you!!

Please do not change your wedding date.

I just wanted to add that you aren't obligated to pay for transportation to and from or accomodations for all guests at a DW. While it is great if you can, you don't HAVE to.

That being said, don't pay for it then expect guests to repay you bc some might find that wierd or not pay. I don't know if I understood the ferry thing correctly or not but I'm assuming this isn't a part of your wedding but transportation to your wedding

I wouldn't change my date. There is always someone who has something else to do, or a reason not to go. It frustrates me when parents try to take over a couples wedding and inflict their own family politics, etc. on the couple. I had one friend who's mom said NO JIMMY BUFFET SONGS at your reception. I tipped the DJ $20 to play my friends favorite song. Keep your date, and do your wedding your way!

When I told my parents we were doing a destination wedding in Hawaii, my mom acted like we were insane. Said we needed to pay for everyone's flights, hotel, etc. Then she said not to bother inviting many family because it would make them feel uncomfortable that they would have to go... It took my Aunt (her older by 10 years sister) to tell her "GET WITH THE TIMES"... lol Now I have family who feel like I left them out for some reason, and are upset they aren't going. Thanks Mom!

I can't imagine charging my guests for anything. Nor would I go to a wedding that had a cover charge. It is such a big deal for people to go, and spend anywhere from 3-8 nights with us, use annual leave, book flights, hire a sitter, etc.

We are hosting 2 BBQ parties, and of course the wedding and reception. We are paying for it all ourselves, and paying for our parents accommodation, meals for the week, and activities. Its kind of our gift back to our parents. We aren't expecting anything in the lines of gifts or cards, and genuinely feel that coming to celebrate with us IS a gift. What better way to celebrate our marriage but a week long party in Hawaii with our closest friends and (a lot) of our family.

1. don't charge the guests and again, you don't even have to pay for their overnight stay. That will save you money.

2. I had the same problem with wedding date change. FH's very close cousins wanna come but they have a graduation of one of their sons. So we ask ahead and then book the venue. Now, the graduation is the same weekend.

They said that "you should have booked in July" both FH and I found that very rude… even though they are very close knit, FH said good riddance.

I don't have anything to add to the original post (glad you're not changing the date though) but wanted to comment @Rob that I'm in the same boat. My mom gave me such a hard time about having our wedding in Hawaii (FH is from there, so it's only a DW for my side) and said that no one would come. I have people trying to invite themselves to our wedding. It seems that everyone wants to go to Hawaii in February!