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Dedicated April 2019

Ceremony vs reception

Jenny, on January 23, 2019 at 9:11 PM Posted in Planning 0 30

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Working on invitations. We have a unique venue where the ceremony space can only hold 120 and the reception can hold 300, both located in same area about 100 yards away from each other.
We are probably going to have a list of people that will get invitations to both ceremony and reception and then have a list for reception only invitations. I know most of the time majority only comes to the reception anyway, but I don’t want to chance it and have people not have a seat.
There is also no way to get total guest list down to 120 ot less with the size of FH’s family. This seems like the only way.
Both invitations will look the same, 1 will just say we invite you to join in celebrating our wedding then has reception to follow.
The other will say something like we invite you to our reception to celebrate our day. The time on these will reflect the start time for reception.
I know some people may think it’s “tacky”...my sister doesn’t like the idea (shs doesn’t seem tp like anything lol), but it is what it is. I guess if people get bent out of shape over it, then they weren’t as close to us as we thought, right?
Ceremony+reception invite picture attached (not ordered yet)

Ceremony vs reception 1

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30 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on January 25, 2019 at 9:32 PM

Master May 2019
Chandra · on January 23, 2019 at 9:18 PM
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How many people are on your guest list?

Just my opinion, but i personally think tiered weddings are rude and am a firm believer that you should find a place that accommodate all of your intended guests for both portions. Some folks really enjoy both aspects and would definitely be hurt to not witness the whole reason behind the reception.
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Super May 2019
B11 · on January 23, 2019 at 9:23 PM
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What happens when reception only guests get there a little early and see that 120 people were invited to the ceremony but they didn’t make the cut?
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Dedicated April 2019
Jenny · on January 23, 2019 at 9:28 PM
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Our friends aren’t like this. They aren’t the type to be offended over something like this. What will bappen if 130 people show up and 10 peope have to stand? Lose/ lose
if it were up to me I’d cut all of my extended family (aunts/uncles) out from being invited at all because they barely ever talk to or see anyone in the family and are just overall not the best people. But was trying to be the better person.
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Devoted September 2019
Paige · on January 23, 2019 at 9:30 PM
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I think you’re asking for trouble. No one wants to feel like a second class guest at your wedding. Like mentioned, what happens if people show up early and realize they weren’t good enough to be invited to the ceremony?

Personally if I was a “second tier” guest who didn’t make the cut, I’d leave, and would take my gift with me. It’s just plain rude.
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VIP May 2015
KiwiDerbyBride · on January 23, 2019 at 9:34 PM
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Really rude. I’m with Paige - if I turned up and found out I was second tier, I’d leave and take my gift. You’re telling people that they’re not important enough to see you get married, the really meaningful part of the day, but good enough to be invited to give you a gift. Don’t do it.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on January 23, 2019 at 9:35 PM
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Can you only hold the ceremony in the ceremony space? Would it be possible to hold it in the reception space instead?
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Dedicated April 2019
Jenny · on January 23, 2019 at 9:36 PM
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Well this is backfiring 🤣

Guess I’m just not one to get offended easily. People will just have to stand and then get mad about that. I’d personally never get mad at someone who chose to have a small ceremony with family and then invite everyone to a reception 🤷‍♀️
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on January 23, 2019 at 9:38 PM
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I think the problem is that doing a small ceremony then big reception only really works if its immediate family only. Not 120 people
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on January 23, 2019 at 9:39 PM
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There’s nothing small about 120 people attending the ceremony. If you were only inviting parents and siblings that would be different, but you can’t invite half the guest list to the ceremony and say you’re keeping it small.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Alyssa · on January 23, 2019 at 9:39 PM
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I say invite who you want. If you don’t care for the extended family don’t invite them. It’s your wedding. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 23, 2019 at 9:40 PM
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120 guests isn’t a small ceremony. An entimate ceremony is 20 or so people. What you’re doing is a tiered wedding and it’s incredibly rude. Can you imagine saying “sorry, we invited our 120 closest friends and family and you didn’t make the cut.” That’s the equivalent.
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Dedicated April 2019
Jenny · on January 23, 2019 at 9:40 PM
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Then we basically wasted our money. And the ceremony space is beautiful.
People will just have to stand. I’m quite certain we won’t have 120 show up for the ceremony anyway. So it is what it is.
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VIP May 2015
KiwiDerbyBride · on January 23, 2019 at 9:41 PM
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Yup, this exactly. Parents, siblings and their spouses/kids, grandparents - that’s fine. Anyone else and it starts getting problematic.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on January 23, 2019 at 9:45 PM
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Guess so. Good luck!
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Dedicated April 2019
Jenny · on January 23, 2019 at 9:46 PM
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Can an admin delete this post for me please?
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on January 23, 2019 at 9:46 PM
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I say do what suits your wedding and the space you have best. I attended a reception only and I wasn't too happy because I'm a sucker for weddings. It was odd for some guest to arrive later on since they had an small private ceremony which was over 30 people. No big deal, I wasn't family I got to party.
Now I was invited to a full wedding that it was running late and the bride assume most people (latin) would be late but didn't anticipated the wedding to run late so she did not have space or sitting for everyone and she had over 50 guest standing at the end. It looked bad not only on pictures but the guest were very cranky after.
I also attended a wedding that half the guest were only invited to the reception after ceremony. This one was worst...
Send separate invites and do what's best for you. People would talk no matter what.
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on January 23, 2019 at 9:49 PM
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Me neither. People do things for different reasons, very private, money issues, religious, whatever it is. I don't follow guidelines I do whatever I want and I try to see the positive side of everything when invited to a place instead of sit, get mad and judge. Don't take it so hard.
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Devoted April 2020
J · on January 23, 2019 at 9:51 PM
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Lol. I think I’m gonna be the only one to say this but I really don’t think it’s a big deal at all. My fiancé and I have both been invited to only receptions and neither of us have even been remotely offended. Granted they were people that we weren’t THAT close to, so we just kinda looked at it as “we know there are plenty of people closer to them, that naturally were invited to the ceremony...but they still care about us and want to celebrate with us AND will still be paying for food & drink for us.”

I would just say, if you can, have a half hour, at least, between ceremony & reception so that people only invited to reception don’t have the awkward moment of waiting around & watching people walk out of the ceremony.

Alao i would make sure to be really upfront and honest with the people who are only invited to the reception so there is no confusion or misunderstandings - that’s where hurt feelings and drama comes in.
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Devoted April 2020
J · on January 23, 2019 at 9:52 PM
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*naturally we were not invited to the ceremony
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Beginner May 2020
Heather · on January 23, 2019 at 11:15 PM
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I don't think its tacky at all. We are actually planning on doing the same thing immediately family and a few close friends that are the wedding party only at the ceremony. Your doing 2 different inventions so they already know they are only going to the reception. The only thing that I would recommend, would be to let them know you were married in a private or intimate ceremony earlier, that way its totally spelled out for them. It's your day and you deserve to have your ceremony in a venue that you absolutely love.
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Ceremony vs reception

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