Ceremony only Invitation wording

This is a logistical nightmare. "Open" is technically just the congregation where the ceremony is held. Church family from yours or your FHs church should technically receive legitimate invitations if they're going to be traveling to the event. But I think you could get away with holding a small cake/coffee reception afterwards for these people if you're 100% set on inviting people from all these churches via word of mouth or what have you. I also know a lot of churches I've attended have children rooms immediately off the main worship hall & it is normal practice to check small children into it during services. Maybe you can arrange to have someone there to watch the kids for the ceremony so people aren't stuck with the babysitter route. There's usually a few girls who work at the children's worship who you could even hire so it would be the normal people who watch the kids on Sunday

Here’s a reality check: your wedding is only special to you and a select few family members and friends. Odds are, these are people included at the reception. Ironically, these are also the people who would show up no matter what. These are the people you rightfully put at the top of the list.

But if someone is not important enough to you to invite to the reception, then why presume you’re soooo important to them that they’re happy to get dressed up on a Saturday, drive to the location, and sit through some boring ceremony for 30 minutes, and the go home without being fed or having done anything remotely enjoyable? Because that’s the reality of a wedding ceremony for most people. To insist they “should” care most about “sharing” in the ceremony itself is a denial of human nature and outright self-absorbed.

IMO, it’s kind of an unspoken social rule that if you want people to sit through your boring wedding, then you ply them with food and alcohol later. If you’re unwilling or unable to do this, then it seems very self-absorbed to think others want to go to your wedding.

Yes there are always exceptions. And if it’s in a public place like a church, and people specifically ask you about it, then sure, casually mention the ceremony is open to all. But don’t send out invites to the ceremony only, especially if it involves any measure of effort beyond dropping over the local church if they happen to have the afternoon free.

Someone recently did this to me...only it’s not the local church location (probably due to scheduling). The invitation was sent by email to most church members, but was conspicuously lacking all the people they’re very close to (meaning those people got an “official” invitation). I didn’t even expect to get invited, and would have thought nothing about not being included at all, but being semi-invited suddenly feels offensive. It’s like they’re supposed to be worth MY time, gas money, energy, and emotion, but I’m not worth their resources. It was much better when I was left with the idea that they didn’t expect me to care.

I’m definitely not going and certainly not getting a gift. That’s the other tacky implication....”come to the wedding, drop off a gift, but nope, you can’t come to the party because we can’t afford you”.

My wedding is in the fall. I totally understood everything you were saying, Im in the same situation. What did you end up doin how did it work out?

View Quoted Comment Hi Angela,

We decided not to have the open wedding. We only sent invitations to those who were invited on our list. This will also help cut costs on the programs and the bubbles for the church because if we don’t know how many will show up, we would have to buy extra of everything just in case, but now we we will know exactly who will come with the rsvps. I hope this helped!

I know you've probably sent out invitations already but I'm so sorry about how everyone has responded about it being rude about sending invitations out for the ceremony and not reception, we're doing the same thing for our wedding. Many of my extended family is simply too large to have at the reception and I have a significant amount of different friend groups due to different adventures in life.

The ceremony is the important part of our wedding as it symbolizes our union as husband and wife, we're celebrating the rest of our life.. not just one day. Other family members have done this as well and none of us were offended as we knew paying for a reception is hard, and we see each other constantly throughout the year.

I'm still working on wording but this is what I wrote:
(Your Name) + (His Name)

Invite you to join the fun as they celebrate the beginning of their adventure together

Please join us for our Ceremony on
(Date of Wedding)
at (Time of Wedding)

(Name of Church)
(Address of Ceremony)

Cocktail Hour to follow with games, drinks and fun!

View Quoted Comment Kudos to you....it's YOUR wedding NOT everyone else's and YOUR budget....i am doing the same thing...oh well you can't please everyone and the day is about the Bride and Groom...

Girl people are going to talk about you no matter what you do So you might as well do whatever brings you joy and live your best married life

Congrats on getting married the important part is that you Love each other and God

View Quoted Comment

I'm glad someone said something nice too! I was looking for the same advice on wording because there are some work people and few others that we want to extend an invite to the ceremony and the after party, only.

Our venue's MAX is 125 so its not even a choice for us to add- we just can't surpass the fire ordinance so we simply don't have the option to add any more reception/dinner invites. Not because we don't want to pay, nor do we the expectation of gifts.

We decided to bring it up to people first to feel it out because we weren't sure if it was funny to do this or not. Turns out everyone's opinion (out of 15-ish people) was that it was completely ok and they were happy to be asked/included.

We are making a post card to provide them the information/invite.

We are including a message that goes something like...

"(Bride + Groom names) wanted to extend an invitation to our wedding ceremony. While we aren't able to extend an invitation to the reception at this time, you are important to us and we want to be able to share our special day with you. Please accept our invitation to our ceremony celebration and feel more then welcome to join in at our after party with late night bites and a few last drinks at our hotel. "

(Your Name) + (His Name)

Please join us for our Ceremony on

(Date of Wedding)
at (Time of Wedding)

(Name of Church)
(Address of Ceremony)

Again - not solid on the wording yet- but something along those lines... happy to hear suggestions also!