Ceremony only Invitation wording

Just invite the same people that are coming to the reception.

It's rude to invite people only to the ceremony, church or not.

To my knowledge, with this sort of situation, you don't send out two invitations. You only send out invitations to people who are invited to both the ceremony and reception. You put a notice in the church bulletin & emails announcing the details of the ceremony to the congregation and then sponsor light bites and drinks after at the church immediately after the ceremony for the congregation.

....At least this is what we do for bar and bat mitzvahs and would parallel this situation almost perfectly.

This is rude. If you don't want someone to attend the reception, you shouldn't invite them to the ceremony. The reception is to thank your guests. This idea looks gift grabby, even if that isn't your intention, and you are likely to offend your guests. Eta: When you say "open," are you just referring to those who attend the church or anyone?

I understand circumstances where the entire church is welcome to come to the ceremony but if you don’t attend the church anymore (and you’re not regularly with the congregation), why would you want all of them to come to your open wedding? If you’re planning on inviting certain friends and family members to your open wedding, I think that’s in poor taste. If it’s sincerely an open wedding at the church, is there a reason they can’t make the announcement? “Because it has been sold” doesn’t indicate they can’t make a simple announcement before service or in the church bulletin, especially if they frequently host open weddings. ETA - while I do understand churches will often allow everyone to come to the wedding, I do agree that sending an intentional invitation comes off as gift grabby. Announcements only.

This is pretty common with church "families", but you don't send them an invitation It goes in the bulletin, announced from the pulpit, or put up on a bulliten board. And I have never heard of people NOT inviting kids to this. Generally, it's anyone who wants to come, and then there is punch/coffee etc afterwards. Just like a coffee hour after a regular service.

Becky pretty much nailed it.

But if you no longer attend and the church itself has been sold (which usually dissolves the group of congregants)? Honestly, I'd skip it.

Thank you everyone for the replies.

Let me clarify, my childhood church is where I grew up. Where people knew me from a little child. It was expressed that they would like to see the wedding. Our budget can’t allow everyone to be invited to the reception. The church was already sold they couldn’t post anything before it closed since we dont have a set time as to when it will start we didn’t even have a date yet so posting it before it closed would of been pointless.

The reason for the no kids is because we are paying for a videographer which is expensive and I wouldnt want kids crying, fussing in the background. I don’t want to be rude in any way but I honestly and genuinely would like everyone to at least witness the wedding.

Also my fiancé is very well known at his church, there are a lot of people who would want to come as well, so I thought an open wedding would be nice to give everyone a chance to witness it.

An announcement will be made at his church but for those from my childhood church they will need to get the info some kind of way right?

Wait, so you're inviting members from his church, to your church for an open wedding? That seems a bit odd.

If the church is sold, how do you have a contract and date? Forgive my lack of knowledge, but wouldn't all the need to be settled with the new owner?

Also, kids don't always cry or are fussy.

As PP's have said, if you are having an open ceremony, you don't send invites, and if you are sending invites, they need to also be invited to the reception, no exceptions.

eta: agree w PP's as well re: no kids for open ceremony, you can't draw those lines.

So sorry we attend 2 different churches. I am a member of my Church and he is a member of his church. The wedding will be at my church sorry for he confusion. It’s my childhood church that was sold not the one I am a member at now

You should make an announcement at your childhood church. I really don’t understand why they would allow you to get married there, allow you to have an open wedding, but not announce it. Will the new owners not allow an announcement because you no longer attend there? Unfortunately, I think that’s their right and it’s a consequence of no longer attending that church. You could try spreading it by word of mouth. It’s rude to dictate “your children will not be allowed” in an announcement or on an invitation. Plenty of people spend money on videographers and not all children are whiny or fussy and they don’t ruin every video. ETA - you cannot invite three separate congregations to your ceremony and not the reception.

The church was sold to an all girls school I believe, there will not be another church in its place

So which church are you actually getting married at? You've mentioned so many it's confusing. Again, to my knowledge you can't do open ceremony for three different churches.

Also, I'm not paying a babysitter for 45 minutes to attend a wedding ceremony.

I don't think it will be easy to ban children from an open wedding. Either it is open or it isn't. If you want to invite people from church to the ceremony only, you rely on the bulletin or word of mouth. Anyone mailed an invitation needs to be invited to the reception.

Okay. Regarding your update, you cannot invite three separate ceremonies to your ceremony and not the reception. That is so rude. That is not an open ceremony; that is a tiered wedding. If they are so important to you and have to be at the ceremony, invite them to the reception. Also, expecting people to get a babysitter for 30-60 minutes to sit and watch you get married and go home after since they’re not invited to the reception is unrealistic. I personally wouldn’t care to attend anyone’s ceremony only and I certainly wouldn’t hire a sitter for it.

So its no longer a church and now is just a rented venue?

I have heard of having open weddings where a congregation is invited to attend - but usually that's because it happens during a normal service time - sort of like when a baptism happens (at least in my church it is) so everyone goes to church as normal - sees the wedding and leaves.

This is crossing over into tiered reception territory and that is really rude. You cannot send out an invitation to just the ceremony - especially if its not at your actual church you attend.

The wedding will be at my church that I attend regularly every Sunday.

All of the people from the church that closed are older couples who have very grown children. It’s his church that may have people with younger children.

Off topic - are you planning on choosing a church to attend as a married couple? This Is so odd to me. Also, It doesn’t matter which church the younger children are at, same rules still apply.

Okay, so the answer is don’t send out anything just let it be by word of mouth. That sucks if children must be invited to the ceremony. Can I say it will be an open adult ceremony?

Yes I will go to his church after we are married. My Pastor will be marring us.

@Leeanne - You cannot expect someone not invited to the reception to leave their children at home or hire a babysitter for just about an hour. Open means open to all.

If you really don't want children just have a private ceremony at the church with only the guests also invited to the reception. Then you just only invite adults but having only Mr. and Mrs. Smith Vs the smith family on the invitation itself. Writing that there will be no children allowed at the event is also rude. Just write who is invited on the invitation and they will understand.

ETA: I also agree with sarah about inviting other congregations - its reaching into tiered reception territory which is majorly rude