Ceremony only Invitation wording

People that you are still close with from a church you no longer attend go into the friend/family group for me. I think it is rude to only invite them to the ceremony, you wouldnt do that to other friends/family.

I've never actually seen an open wedding where it was open to more than the congregation who attends church at the church where the wedding is taking place.

I can kind of understand announcing that it's an open ceremony to your FH's congregation and your current congregation because you're both s part of those churches.

I'd draw the line there, though, and skip inviting your childhood church. I think it would be awkward to invite them to come to another church for your wedding when you don't attend church with then anymore. I also think it ceases to be an open wedding when you send physical invitations to certain church members, rather than announcing the details to everyone who is/was a member at that church.

Our last church closed this past spring and is in the final stretch of selling it's building. Our church secretary still keeps up with firmer members and occasionally still emails us when she hears that so-and-so passed away and wants to share memorial service details so we can choose to go, or when someone is in need of prayer. I think your best bet for keeping this an open wedding would be to contact your childhood church's former secretary and ask if she could help you pass on a message. But I think if reaching out to a secretary who you don't know because you hadn't attended that church in a while feels awkward or weird to you, I think that would be a very telling reason not to pursue inviting members from your childhood congregation.

Okay I honesty didn’t know or think it would be rude. I thought allowing people to see the ceremony was a nice gesture. But I see it is greatly frowned upon.

So I guess I can’t have an open wedding, which sucks for those who really wanted to come to the ceremony

I’m not close to them per say. It’s like my old Sunday school teachers and generally older people who watched me grow up basically

I just had a thought...did you start attending your current church well before your childhood church closed? Was it because you moved away? Are your current church and FH's church even in the same city? Guests who would have to travel definitely couldn't be invited to the open ceremony. They'd need to be invited to the whole event.

Everything about this is rude and confusing and I COME from a church setting.

I'm going to put this as gently as I can.. Most people have an enhanced opinion of the enthusiasm other people have for going to a ceremony. He may be 'well known", you may have people who knew you as a child, but when the rubber hits the road, I think it's perfectly reasonable to omit all of them from the ceremony. If you're attending his church and getting married there, then by all means, invite the entire congregation (kids too, sorry) to the ceremony. But your situation isn't that straighforward; it's more work for you and it's not really where I'd personally put my energy.

Get married, invite your guests, call it a festive wedding day.

ETD; And Richard makes a very good point.

AAhh okay now that makes sense. So the reason for the reception is to thank them for coming?

@OP - I get wanting to include those types of people - but honestly if they are not someone you speak to regularly its not worth it. You cannot invite everyone and have the types of rules you want. It's hard but sometimes a line will have to be drawn.

I am sure these people will be happy to eventually see some pictures - if you do not keep up with them on a regular basis then they probably would decline to travel for a ceremony only event anyway.

I left my childhood church around 2006 our churches are not in the same city they are about 45 mins away ouch that is far I just google map it.

Okay now I see why this wouldn’t be a good idea

@kristen - makes so much sense!! So I think I will just invite those who are on my list. But can I still have it announced at his church but don’t mention the kids part just have them come anyways?

@OP - Yes - you can have it announced to the congregation the ceremony is being held at but you cannot dictate if they do or do not bring children since they won't also be going to the reception

If you feel really really strongly that not having kids is the most important factor just have a private ceremony with people only also invited to the reception.

ETA: Also agree with what Kristin said

@kristen Alright, thank you so much for all the advice!

@everyone else thank you all for your advice as well and your comnents

10/10 great thread

I come from a very small town where all the churches are basically on one block, so it was not weird to have announcements like that at the other church. But that was literally walk next door not drive across the city. If this is something you really want to do and you know someone who works for the church very well you can ask them if that has ever been done before and how it was received. If it isn't something that they do often, then skip it.

You will never get the majority of people to say its ok to invite them only to the ceremony...These are people who know of you and wish you well so I would send them an invite that says something that looks like a wedding announcement...Announce the date, time, place, and then somehow state that this ceremony is an adult only event. I am sure you can play with the wording...No i don't consider this to be gift grabby, or rude or anything else. There are always people around who know of you, or personally know you as you have grown up in the church that care about your well being...t

Everyone here who is planning/has planned a wedding most likely had people they couldn't invite due to budget. It's just the reality of wedding planning. It's true though, if you don't care enough about them to want to make room in your budget for their meal, they don't need to be involved in the day at all.

Glad you were able to get some good advice and are going forward with it.

No Happening. Not happening.....

Simple.

I wouldn't send an invitation to the ceremony to those not invited to the reception.

Are you Apostolic? I use to be so I understand what you're asking. With the ceremony-only weddings, it is only not weird to do that if you can make an announcement. But since you did the binder thing, write "Last name" wedding. Please join us for our ceremony @__pm."

Id hire a security person just incase stragglers get in.

@christina I’m non denominational

AAhh I forgot about the binder they are probably expecting to get the information about the wedding some kind of way.

Maybe I can tell those who are invited from my childhood church that if anyone asks just say they are welcomed to attend the ceremony and give them the details.

What do everyone think of that?