Ceremony Church - What is the "offering" to Get Married In Your Church? - Especially Catholic Church

When i was looking to get married in the church, i think rose petals was the only big restriction...nothing thrown on the floor. they were pretty open otherwise and the priest didnt give a number for the offering. then just the normal no getting married on sundays. there may have been more but im a less is more person and the church i wanted to get married in didnt need much decoraton because it is beautiful!

Our church doesn't tell you an amount to 'offer', that wouldn't really be an offering would it, it would just be a fee. There aren't too many restrictions at ours, we can use whatever music we want as long as it's not swearing, etc. I'm so glad we didn't have to use the organist because one, I can't stand her, and two, organ music is so not the vibe of us or our wedding.

(That's an Anglican or Episcopalian church though, not a Catholic church.)

My hometown church is VERY strict in what you can and cannot do. The main reason we decided to marry DW style was because of the restrictions & issues with our Priest. I don't remember the offering amount but they required two large flower arrangements for both sides of the alter and they had to be a certain size & real flowers. The arrangements would've been at least $400 a peice ontop of the ridiculous high offering amount. You were also forced to choose their musicians (who are absolutely awful). They also have a list of music you can choose from.

For marriage preparation and the use of the Church: $1,000.00.

If you are celebrating your marriage elsewhere:

$350.00 for registered parishioners

$500.00 for non-registered couples

Wedding Coordinator: $150

Organist: $200

Cantor/Soloist: $200

Altar Servers: $40 ($20 per server - cash)

Sound Technician, if needed: $100-$150 (cash)

Unity Candle: $35

Plus a "processing fee" for the archdiocesan paperwork of $40 and $125 for premarital counseling. They also had us go on an engaged encounter that was $250 for the weekend.

We have to use their musicians unless we find an alternative that has formal cantor training. However, we don't mind because the musicians are fabulous.

Also, we can't decorate at all

We are getting married in my hometown Catholic Church. There are regulations about decorating (no tape, tacks, nails or putty), but that's because they just spent a good chunk remodeling the building. They don't want you to sprinkle anything due to slipping hazards. There is no official "fee" per se, but rather a "suggested donation." I don't know what it is yet because a close friend of ours who is a Deacon will marry us. When I asked him about the fee, he said, "Don't worry about it..." I know when my friend got married there, she said it was a suggested donation of $100, so I guess I will find out.

As far as other restrictions, there really aren't that many except that we are not allowed to use secular music for our ceremony. We don't have to use their cantors/musicians, but our Deacon suggested starting with the Sister in charge of the music at the church. He said she could set up meetings with different musicians in the parish if were we having trouble finding someone.

We are getting married in an episcopal church. its $200 and $200 more if we want the organ player but we can play music instead on the sound system. and can decorate how we want

For members it's "free" (as in no fee for the venue)

For non-members it's $500 (but I got it for $200, because they raised the price..when I started talking to them it was $200 and then they raised it to $500! I asked for the $200 fee and they gave it to me)

To use their organist/pianist it's $200 (to use your own there is a $100 bench fee)

To use their cantor it's $200 (to use your own, no bench fee)

Altar servers are $20 each

Officiant/priest is $200 (suggested)

Wedding Director (required) is $200

For decorations...it's fairly limited. They tried to tell me I was required to provide altar flowers. I told them I wasn't having any real flowers in the wedding and wasn't wanting any floral decorations. Since the priest approved, they aren't making us provide altar flowers. That would have been another $200ish.

I am providing votive candles so that we can light their candles above the altar and front of the church.

For the pews, you can't do tape, glue, nails, etc. So basically no pew decorations unless you can get them on some other way (there aren't hooks or anything so I don't know how)

Aisle runners aren't allowed...no confetti, flower petals, sparklers, bird seed, etc.

Thanks ladies! Cate has to do her classes in Florida. However, everything else is being handled up here.

Jess G....With regard to the beauty of a church and decorations, I couldn't agree more.

Judith...I love the Episcopal church's rules on many things...no rules. : )

Kimi K....OMGoodness, with those guidelines, having a DW makes perfect sense. What does the Church in Key West require? Offering? Rules? Have they made it easier for you? How late can a wedding be there?

Janelle.....Ouch!

Eric & Rachelle....It sounds like you have the easiest road.

My gripe on this one....many couples are chosing not to be married in the Church. I can see why. When the sacrament is important to a couple, the Church really needs to make it easier, not more difficult. I can understand an "offering". They have to put the lights on, etc.

Cate is not allowed to have group photos taken after the ceremony inside the Church. WTH?

Katie, you could tie pew markers on with ribbon if you wanted

I forgot that we do have $75 fee for the caretaker who has to clean up after our event.

Reina....After my divorce from Cate's father, I seriously considered attending our local Episcopal Church.

Katie Bug...You are not a parishioner at the Catholic Church you are being married at? It sounds like htey have a lot of rules as well.

I was married in the Church in 1982. Our restrictions: no bird seed and we had to use their organist. No music could be secular.

I can understand why they make it more difficult. Marriage is a sacrament and they want to be sure that you're taking the preparation of marriage VERY seriously. The Catholic Church is just that - a church. My hometown church did not allow any pictures to be taken during the ceremony unless you received special permission from the Priest. Videographers are prohibited. Non chuch members were not allowed to marry there.

The KW chuch was very accommodating and has been an absolute joy to work with. They do require a $1000 offering for those that are nonmembers. $500 to hold the date (they've had a lot of issues with couples in the past wanting to get married there but never following through). They do have rules, no runner, no tape/hangers/rose petals/etc. Basic same rules that apply in most other churches. You have to use their musician. Upside is that you can marry any day of the week at any time. We're getting married on Wednesday at 2:00pm. Pictures taken by anyone

Besides the photographer is prohibited.

Oh, and the music is basically chosen for you. You have a list of songs that you can choose for the different parts. Made my life SO much easier and I was very thankful for that!!

@Judith - Thanks for the suggestion...it is already a beautiful church, so we actually took it as a sign and decided to have no decorations (except for those votive candles). Nice and simple!

Oh yeah, and since the marriage prep is required, I guess that counts too:

FOCCUS test, meetings with priest, and meetings with mentor couple were free

Engaged Encounter was $250 for the retreat or $100 for the in-parish weekend. We're commuting and doing the in-parish one...just because of the price.

Carole...I agree with you. The wedding Director at our church wanted to make the non-members fee $0, but the others didn't go for it. She said, "if people want to get married in the church, shouldn't that be something we want to encourage, rather than deter them from?" I completely agree.

At our church you can't take family photos after the event either, unless you have the last time slot (3pm) like me. This is because there are so many events each Sat. that they need to make room for the next event.

No we're not parishioners...we haven't lived here for very long and will most likely be moving in a few years. We also do not actively practice the faith like a Catholic should, so we are not members.

One of the only things our parents have cared about strongly regarding the wedding is that we have a Catholic wedding. We are both baptized and confirmed Catholic, so it really didn't make sense not to. Since we didn't care one way or another and are in love with our priest/officiant, we decided to have a Catholic wedding. We ended up having a full mass because Jason and his parents felt strongly that we should. Again, since my preferences weren't as strong, I deferred to theirs.

Our church isn't nearly as strict as Kimis!

We are allowed to have a photographer and videographer...just no flash. As my priest put it, "as long as they are respectful and not crawling on the altar or something it's fine!"

We have 30 minutes to take photos in the church after the wedding, but that's assuming someone is after us, which there isn't anyone (there aren't a lot of Catholics down here). We are the only wedding on the church's calendar in 6 months!

The latest we are allowed to have our ceremony is 2 pm, because of Saturday evening mass. The wedding guidelines are pretty strict, but that is because they are set by the bishop and main priest. Our priest/officiant is the campus minister and is ridiculously liberal for a Catholic priest...he has been much more flexible and lenient, which has been wonderful.

Kimi K....I totally get the restrictions when it comes to the sacrament. I am certified to teach religion in the Archdiocese, and was a former full time Catholic school teachers. Both of my girls have had 12 plus years of a Catholic education. It is a sacrament and their responsibility to make sure the couple is ready to enter into the sacrament. It's the minutia that is annoying. I actually think the classes are helpful. I know my annullment helped me heal.

Janelle...Uggg...the times are annoying. HOwever, since Saturday evening Mass, hitting the bar before the reception to kill time has been par for the course.

Katie Bug...Since you are not a registered parishioner, I am surprised they are allowing you to have a Mass. Up here, if you were not registered in any parish, they would have given you a hard time and possibly denied it. When Cate and Dom bought their house, that was the first thing they knew they had to do. Oh, and make sure they used their envelopes. ; )

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