Catholic Wedding Frustrations!

Holy shit. That is all... (I'm not familiar with Catholic religion, had no idea.)

I hear ya! We are going through this process. Its laborious, but I think there's hopefully some good that comes out of it. The paperwork is over the top but hopefully the meetings (for us a "conference") are valuable for marriage planning. Is nice that the church is so focused on the marriage while all of us are also thinking about the details of the wedding, you know? Its also different diocese by diocese but I feel like I'm in the strictest possible one (Arlington, VA)!

We haven't really had any issues. But we're both catholic and my mom works for the church n I've had a lot of friends get married in the church so I know the rules.

We just had to submit our baptism certificates and fill out a form that we were never married.

Our priest is in Rome but when he comes back we'll do focus n meet w him a few times.

I just did NFP classes. How did you find it inaccurate? I've done a lot of reading on the topic n have been charting as a single person for 5 years.

Let's not forget meeting with the Priest every week or so. Ugh!

Just getting started with all this- first contacted the church last week and I'm already surprised by all the info they need! My FH is baptist, so I'm not sure if he yet understands how involved it's all going to be.

I realized that Boston was more chill on the Pre-Cana requirements than Omaha, but I had no idea how much more chill it was compared to almost everywhere else, too, until I hear you ladies talk about it. We had 3 total meetings with the priest who was preparing us and we attended a day and a half retreat. At least we were lucky in that regard!

We had a pretty painless experience. Pre-cana, met with the priest but didn't have to answer any questions or fill our any worksheets. Our meeting consisted of 5 minutes talking about us and 30 minutes of FH and the priest talking about the church's new air conditioning system.

I had a few hoops to go through in regards to finding my first communion certificate, but overall it wasn't a hassle. The precana to me was like going to marriage counseling before. It was important to us to be married in the Catholic Church, so I just saw it as more wedding planning

I'm so nervous about the whole ordeal! FH isn't Catholic and I'm worried what all the priest will say to us at out first meeting next week! I'm hoping that he doesn't ask us any embarrassing questions but I'm sure he will at some point lol!

@Bstar, the pamphlet that the Denver diocese gave FSIL said that NFP is the single most effective method of contraception, with effectiveness rates of 97-99%, whereas the pamphlet cited the pill as being only 79% effective, and condoms as only 72% effective in preventing pregnancy. If they are citing "with perfect use," those numbers appear to be inaccurate.

I would like to note that each Diocese and parish within operates differently given the type of couple getting married(practicing/non practicing, cohabitating, interfaith etc). Both of us were practicing Catholic before we met and understood what the sacrament of marriage meant. We also understood that we would have to get our baptism/confirmation certificate and participate in FOCUS, marriage prep weekend, and maybe an NFP class. I work for a seminary and am well aware of how a diocese operates and my husband is friends with the secretary of the parish we got married in and the priest who celebrated the wedding(these connections helped). Though it might seem like a lot of "stuff" to do, if you want to get married in the Catholic Church and understand marriage is a sacrament the "stuff" will seem less tedious.

Wow. I had a very different experience. We did one day of precana. Didn't even finish the book. They sent us home with it to do on our own if we wanted. We had 1 interview with our priest and it was short, easy and enjoyable. Sending off for my baptism form was easy. Our family filled out 1 sheet and that was done. Then our priest handled the rest. I was actually shocked by how easy it was. Weird!

We both grew up Catholic and originally wanted our wedding in Catholic Church but after meeting with priest and all they required and $1300 we decided we didn't want to deal with the nonsense and the huge gap between mass and reception. So glad we decided against it

FH and I are getting married in a Catholic Church and I'm not Catholic. I'm ready to pull my hair out.

Well if you use NFP diligently and correctly and have sex on the right days depending on whether you want to get pregnant or not it does work.

The problem with the pill is that it just creates a hostile environment so that the egg cannot be implanted so many times a baby is still conceived. And it's just awful for you in general.

I have heard that NFP has a rate of about 98% but I also thought the rates for the pill and condoms were higher than in the 70s. It's been awhile since I read any stats.

Seems to depend very much on the diocese, the church and the couple. We're both practicing conservative/traditional and being married by a priest who has known us throughout our relationship. (He even offered a mass for our engagement) We were required to meet with him twice (once early on and will do again once before/close to the wedding) but he's happy to talk about marriage more if we want. We had to have our confirmation certificates, but it was basically a matter of just contacting my church (ie a little anxiety they wouldn't find it but no real headache). He's recommended pre-Cana and a fellow practicing friend recommended an NFP teacher/coach.

ETA: As two converts (both former protestants) we've actually found it easier because so much of it is pre-scripted as opposed to our friends protestant backgrounds. Also, we want to do a Latin mass as part of ours so the priest said he'd have to check that we didn't need to do anything for that.

FH is not part of any religion and I was raised Catholic, we are getting married in a beautiful cathedral in downtown Sacramento and we had LOADS of paperwork to fill out. Wait.... let me rephrase that... I had loads of paperwork to full out. I even did the online pre Cana by myself for the most part because he'd be working all hours of the day and night or sleeping for the few hours he could. Not only did I have to get my baptism cert and first communion cert, but I had to get a copy of my baptism cert.... and yesterday we met with the deacon for 3 hours to go over marriage and love and religion, and instead the deacon and my FH ended up talking about guns and target shooting and reloading ammo for the last 45 minutes.

I guess it depends on the church. We had to go over the questions with the Deacon which took 15 minutes tops, pre cana which was done on one Saturday and was long but actually pretty enjoyable, and we had to have my husbands family church forward his baptismal certificate to the church we married in. I will say that we did only have a ceremony and not a full mass because I am not catholic but I thought the process was relatively easy and painless.

ETA: and I forgot that we were asked to have two witnesses sign forms to say that we were never married before and all that stuff.

@Amanda - I feel like I'm having a similar experience to you. We didn't really do much with NFP, they said if we were interested in it they could set us up with some classes but that was up to us. I started charting on my own, but I'm following a book that, IMHO, doesn't seem to be written by someone who is seriously following the Catholic faith.