Deirdre
VIP November 2010

Catholic Question- Tip/Gift for priest?

Deirdre, on July 19, 2010 at 4:24 PM Posted in Planning 0 17
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The priest that will be marrying us is a family friend that I have known since I was born and has married my sister and all my cousins, but the church we are getting married at is not his parish so I am not sure if he will be getting any of the $ that we donated for the wedding? So my question is what should I give him as a gift/tip? What is appropriate? Should I give him some cash or a gift card to a restaurant? I have no clue.. My grandparents own a Catholic religious supply store and maybe I can give him a nice statue or something but I don't know if that is something he would have tons of already?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Ellen, on September 28, 2021 at 6:16 PM
  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    What about making a smal contribution to his parrish? Any sort of gift is appreciated, so I'd do something small.

    • Reply
  • C.T.&J.J1014
    Expert October 2014
    C.T.&J.J1014 ·
    • Flag

    I was wondering the same thing since were having a Catholic Wedding also, I was thinking about giving him a gift card to his favorite restaurant or giving back to my parish or giving him a case of my father's home made beer. Its hard and I have been wondering the same thing. Hope this helps!

    • Reply
  • Greyash
    Master March 2011
    Greyash ·
    • Flag

    I'd agree with Meghan, giving a contribution to his church would be nice, then maybe a small gift card to starbucks or something

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    Thanks ladies, I just called my sister and she said that she gave him an actual cash tip when they got married and I think I will just do the same!Smiley smile Who doesn't like money? Plus its one less thing to worry about now! Thanks for the opinions!

    • Reply
  • ncbride
    VIP February 2011
    ncbride ·
    • Flag

    I was thinking of giving the priest/parish a donation of $150...

    Question...do you have to invite the priest to your reception? I don't really even know him that well ... although he is the priest of FH's church

    • Reply
  • cuteangelfan
    Super April 2010
    cuteangelfan ·
    • Flag

    Sarah, I think your parish asks for too much, we did give our deacon a tip for all the time he spent with us and invited him to our reception as well.

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    I will invite our priest to the reception since he is a family friend and we just all around love him! But I think it is nice o extend the offer, although many priests have lots of commitments and obligations to tend to on Saturdays and will probably turn down the inviteSmiley smile

    • Reply
  • The O-fficial MrsJoseph!
    Master September 2010
    The O-fficial MrsJoseph! ·
    • Flag

    That's a great question! I'm not sure. My parish of record only allows donations to the parish. I'm being married at a diffrent parish (mom's parish), so I'm not sure. I'm meeting with the parish priest weekend after next. Want me to ask him?

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    Sure I think that would be great to have a priest's perspective if a cash gift is appropriateSmiley smile thanks!

    • Reply
  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2010
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    Working in a Catholic school and having many priest friends, I can tell you that they appreciate you giving "them" the money. They are on a tight and fixed income, which is very little.

    The money they get from baptisms and weddings helps them live a little. While it's nice to make a donation to the Church, which is something we are doing, it is also good to give the priest a little something as well. Since I am good friends with the priest marrying me, I am giving him $200 along with paying for his hotel room for two nights, since he is coming from out of town.

    People get so wound up in all the other costs, they forget the true meaning of the wedding, which is the ceremony. And if any money were to be spent, it should be on the imporant part.

    Good luck and congrats to those of you getting married!

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    Nicole- thanks yeah we already gave the priest $200 and a nice thank you card, and don't worry I think most brides and grooms that go through the process of getting married in the Catholic Church are very much aware of the importance of it all.

    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes July 2013
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    My question is...WHEN do you actually give the gift to him? Right after the ceremony? At the rehearsal? What have others done?

    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    VIP November 2010
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag

    Katie O.- we just gave him the envelope (with the $200 and a thank you not) the last time we saw him BEFORE the wedding, which was 2 weeks before the wedding date. It wasn't as if it was a "tip" that should be given on the day of.

    • Reply
  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Siciliana ·
    • Flag
    I have a similar question. My FH's priest is marrying us, but a priest at my parish, where we are getting married, is doing our marriage prep with us. Should we give him a gift? He will be away on the date of our wedding so we can't invite him to the wedding, but I feel like we should give him something for the time he spent preparing us. Any ideas?


    • Reply
  • Elaine
    Dedicated October 2020
    Elaine ·
    • Flag

    On a similar note, I recently came back from my brother's wedding in California and I bought some souvenirs. I bought a bracelet and a magnet for the priest who will be marrying us, is that okay? They weren't expensive at all. I would just like to know what is the protocol for that.

    • Reply
  • Raul
    Raul ·
    • Flag

    Here's what we will do.

    1). donate to the parish the prescribed amount for a wedding. Ranges from $250 up. This is for the Parish, not the Priest.

    2). give the Priest a gift card with $500 cash. Write something simple like,

    "Dear Father _____,
    we are honored to have you preside over (blank/blank's wedding) and we appreciate you. Please find this gift as a token of our gratitude."

    Remember that Priest's only get a yearly stipend and a generous gift befits the role. Not a time to be cheap, in my opinion. The gift may be given by either parent, an uncle, brother/sister, Godparent, etc. but shouldn't be the bride/groom (unless there is no other option. Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Ellen
    Devoted October 2021
    Ellen ·
    • Flag
    This is a nice idea... didn’t think of it and he’s coming to our wedding too. Card with cash sounds like a good idea. Glad this subject was brought up! This website rocks.
    • Reply

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