Catholic Gap

I think it is unacceptable. I hate waiting around during a gap. Why do you need a first look if you want to see your FH walking down the aisle?

I think it's unacceptable, but I am sure I would suffer through it for someone close.

That's not cool. You're responsible for your guests from the start of the ceremony until the end of the reception. You're hosting your guests.

I'm Catholic and used to the wait time. Just like you I had no idea it was such a big thing until WW. Maybe it's what we are used too hence why no one says anything? Not sure. There will be a 2 hour gap between my ceremony and reception as well for photos. We don't really have a choice lol so I get it. Hope you figure out what works best for you and FH!

@kelly there is just something special to me about doing that at the church. My favourite part of a wedding is seeing the couples faces and feel the emotions. That's my opinion only obviously and I have been lucky enough to witness same feelings with a first look but I think it's the tradition

Then find some way to host that gap. Do a first look and start your reception early? Move the ceremony to later?

" I believe I can still change the church time to pushed back later and do a 'first look' however I had always imagined that feeling of seeing my FH the first time walking down the aisle and he feels the same."

Your post doesn't make sense to me. I am not seeing my FH before the wedding because I want him to see me for the first time walking down the aisle. But the way you are wording it makes it seem like you would have to do a first look if you changed the church time.

Do anything you can to close that gap. It's too long.

@kelly Yes we would have to do a first look if we changed the time because we are getting photos done (if we kept the gap we would have the photos done then)

Since we also aren't doing a first look we are doing most of our photos before the wedding. Basically anything where we won't see each other. Separate family photos, bridal party, getting ready... and then during the cocktail hour we are taking all of our photos together. You could try something like that.

It's just so common in Australia. I've been to more weddings with gaps than without (none of these were Catholic weddings either.) Not a fan but I wouldn't refuse to attend if I was invited to one.

I was raised Catholic so I'm used to it. It is annoying though. Non-catholic guests will likely find it rude.

I am catholic and I've been to many catholic weddings and the longest gap I've seen is 1 hour and there was a cocktail hour with appetizers and the bar open for drinks during this time. As a guest I would not be happy to have a 3 hour gap with nothing to do... you can do the one hour gap with a cocktail hour and do your pictures then so your FH can still see you walking down the aisle for the first time, you don't have to do a first look. You can do all your pictures with your bridesmaids and the groom pictures with the groomsmen before the ceremony to save time during the cocktail hour pictures when you are all together.

Thanks Kelly that's not a bad idea. Our photographer said he would like 2 hours for photos (they are done at a separate location so allowing for that linger after church and travel time to/from location caused the 3 hours). Maybe I can ask him to do the shoot after ceremony at the reception venue and cut down the time. Do you think 1 hour is acceptable? Allows people to make their way over before the pre drinks and canapés start? Or still not ok?

Also that 3 hour gap already unfortunately factored in the bridesmaids and groomsmen doing their photos separately before the church.

Host it. At least have that option. We usually go home but if some are coming from further away, it is rude to leave them at loose ends.

We are doing it, for a Thursday wedding, and it's working out nicely, for so many reasons. We also wanted our first look to be at the ceremony, and we wanted pictures in the day light. So we talked to our hotel and they are opening up the bar earlier in the day to allow some place for OOT guests and guests who don't live that close to go and hang out, maybe you can see if you can do something like that?

3 hrs for photos is a lot of time! We are doing 20 min after the ceremony...do you really want to take pictures for 2-3 hours? I'd talk to your photographer and ask him why so long...I wouldn't like the delay as a guest.

Why have a first look if you don't want one? You can change the time without having one. As far as the gap, every wedding I've been to has had one, all catholic ceremonies. I found them to be obnoxious, but I didn't realize until coming on here that I wasn't the only one. The one wedding I went to that wasn't family, my FH and I ended up only going to the reception because of the gap. We just thought it was really annoying and we had to travel far to get to the wedding so we weren't going to rush to get to the ceremony just to sit around for a few hours in an unfamiliar place.

I've only been to one wedding with a gap but I was in it so I didn't really notice, but my friends who were not in it were not happy about it.