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- Catholic Communion When Most Guests Not Catholic
Catholic Communion When Most Guests Not Catholic
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I need advice! My FH is Catholic and I'm in the process of converting to Catholicism. My family is not Catholic and several of the guests on his side aren't Catholic either. The Catholics in attendance will be his family and almost no one else.
FH wants to have communion. I don't feel comfortable having communion at the wedding, which is supposed to unite our families, when more than half the guests will not be invited to participate. I feel it will be devisive and I am uncomfortable "hosting a meal," so to speak, that my family and most guests cannot eat. FH points out that anyone who wants to participate but isn't Catholic could go forward and recieve a blessing from the Priest. I understand the process and do it when we go to Mass at his home church, but it is not the same.
I don't know what to do. Please help!
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20on September 28, 2018 at 10:56 PM
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annakac Devoted on August 3, 2018 at 3:32 PMIs there any way that you could talk to the priest about just the two of you getting communion? That way your FH still gets his communion but it doesn't make some of your non-Catholic guests feel out of place? I'm not sure if it is an option with a Catholic wedding but worth a shot!
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That would be ideal, but I don't know if it's an option. Also, we don't know exactly which Catholic Church we'll marry in, his hometown church or the church we attend now. So even if one says yes, the other may say no.Reply
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Going to the chapel Master on August 3, 2018 at 3:37 PMTalk to your priest. A priest who is a good communicator can describe to everyone present the Communion process without making those who aren't Catholic not feel uncomfortable.
I'm struck that you think Communion would be divisive. Why is that? All the non-Catholics who've mentioned Communion to me are usually just curious, not upset or mad.
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Because more than half the guests are not invited (unwelcome) to the communion table. I understand that's not the Church's interned message, but that's how I feel it would be recieved.Reply
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*not the Church's INTENDED message.Reply
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OrangeCrush Super on August 3, 2018 at 3:58 PMI would try to skip communion in this case. I do not like going to a wedding or a funeral and the Catholic priest says "Only baptized Catholics may come forward." It is not welcoming at all - and I really don't like the idea of the two of you taking communion without offering. That is worse, in my opinion. It is not very inviting and welcoming. I feel like you, that you are hosting a meal, which you kinda are, yet only some folks are invited.
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Were having a catholic marriage also and thats actually the most important part to me. Communion is a very important part of a catholic marriage, it symbolizes you are both one with the lord so I would definently recommend you and FH recieve together. U may wanna ask the priest but I don't think its optional, I believe its a part of the service, but I'm sure y'all wouldn't be offending anyone!Reply
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If you want a full nuptial mass, then communion has to be a part of it. Otherwise, the priest will just be performing a wedding ceremony. Obviously you will be no less married.
As a convert to Catholicism myself, I can understand where this might be hard for you. But as a practicing Catholic, communion is an important part of the ceremony and I think the fact that your FH wants to do it is great. I don't think you offend anyone. Most non-Catholics know that they are not going to be receiving communion. I think an announcement is not necessary. I have also seen someone who was not Catholic go up for communion and guess what? He just followed the leader and nobody knew the difference.
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No big deal. As a catholic i like the mass with a wedding and don’t notice who sits or stands to receive communion. I am also happy as a clam at Jewish weddings just watching a ritual different than my own, don’t know the prayers or when to stand or sit, etc. and it’s fine!Reply
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Honestly it’s not a big deal! I’m like you and recently converted to Catholicism. However I’ve attended catholic weddings and never felt left out or offended that I couldn’t have communion. As a Catholic now with family who are not, I will have the priest tell family they can come up and receive a blessing. I received blessings as a non-Catholic and also stayed seated when every other Catholic went up to receive communion and I was happy with either choice!Reply
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Honestly, it is very common for non Catholics to attend a Catholic ceremony like a baptism, first communion, confirmation, and weddings. The Priest will make an announcement saying "All those that wish to receive communion, please do" and Those who aren't Catholic, or Catholics that haven't gone to confession prior, will just remain in their seat. I've stopped practicing Catholiscm, so I do not take communion when a mass is said at a wedding. I've never felt uncomfortable and friends of mine that are non Catholic have never felt so either.
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I would allow communion and to those who wish to partake can. If they don’t it’s fine also. It is no different then going to another religions ceremony and not partaking in their specific rituals, communion etcReply
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From this day forward you two become as one, If FH wants it then you should too. I’m the only one doing communion in the whole group when we get married. My FH said he wants me to do it. This just shows both sides how committed he is.
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Agree that communion is part of the catholic mass. You can opt to have the wedding ceremony only but then you are taking away from the sacramental part of what marriage truly is in the catholic church. I recommend placing something within your program that provides a brief explanation as well as an announcement. This is very common practice and helps people understand. At
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I’ve been in wedding parties that had members of the bridal party that were not catholic. They receive a blessing in place of communion. It’s not a big deal. And family members that are not catholic will just stay in their seats when others take communion. It only lasts for a short time and really I’ve never heard of any one being uncomfortable that they couldn’t go up to take communion. I think you will be fine !Reply
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Part of the feeling of divisiveness is due to a lack of understanding of the nature of the Eucharist. There are many ways to communicate what the Eucharist is for Catholics and why only practicing Catholics should receive. You could write up a note to put in the program with the help of the priest, as well as have the priest read the note aloud or explain to the guests before communion. The important thing is that you communicate the truth with love and explain that this is an important element of the ceremony for you. It seems like your family members are very understanding since they are willing to accept your conversion and attend your wedding in the Catholic Church.Reply
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I was at my FH cousin's wedding last year and his cousin isn't catholic but his wife is. They had it in a catholic church. The priest said that if you aren't catholic but wish to come up basically just to bow your head you're more than welcome. His cousins whole side didn't go up. It was me and another guest from his cousin's side that went up to receive communion. I didn't feel offended that nobody else in his family were catholic.
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So I was recently at a wedding where it was half catholic half “other”. The priest in my opinion did not handle it correctly. He specifically said that only Catholics are invited for communion. All other Christians and non religious folks could go up for a blessing. I am Lutheran but felt I couldn’t receive communion because of that, I was upset.
If possible. Talk to your priest on how you deliver it. Why can’t he say “all who would like communion are welcome?” Those who aren’t catholic won’t go up if they don’t usually participate. Just my opinionReplyFlag
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The extending of a blessing is the most that can be done in a Catholic mass. I am Catholic and I would not receive communion at a Lutheran wedding/service because I am not a Lutheran and I am not "in communion" i.e. I have not been initiated into that church, I don't believe in that church's teachings, etc. Informing a group of people that Catholic communion is only for Catholics is not about making non-Catholics feel excluded or being divisive. It is merely the recognition that those who receive communion do so because they believe fully that what they are receiving is the Body and Blood of Christ and their agreement with the teachings of the Church. If you don't believe that, why would you want to receive? I would not receive communion at any other church out of respect for that church's beliefs as well as my own. The priest cannot say "all who would like communion are welcome" because that would violate the teaching of the Catholic Church.
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Thank you for the helpful information and insights!
I guess it answers it right there since catholic and Lutheran are a tad different. I respect your view and again appreciate you providing your input. I was just providing my opinion from a recent experience and how I felt about it since it was slightly compatible situation. Not saying I’m right or wrong, but as someone who truly does believe in receiving the Body and Blood of Christ and believes in the Lord, to me I should be allowed to participate in communion. Why turn a person away because of a title when we all share the same love and faith? I completely understand there are specifics/technicalities and by no means do I want to offend anyone at all. Just wanted to share my “unpopular” opinion.ReplyFlag
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