Catholic Ceremony vs Civil Ceremony

My fiirst marriage was a full Catholic Mass. I was raised Baptist my fiance at the time was confirmed Catholic and attended mass regularly and was part of the music ministry. I did not have to convert but he did have to promise to raise HIS children Catholic. (I had a son from a previous relationship) and we had to go to a premarital counsiling sessions, but no retreat. Needless to say, the religious differences between us turned out to be the demise of our marriage-even though we did raise ALL the children catholic. (all grown now 1 believes in God but doesn't attend church, 1 doesn't believe in God or any higher power she is very scientific minded, and the other 1 is Wicken) As far as being hypocritical- I don't see it that way. You sound like me in that you feel spiritual but not to much about organized religion. I found most churches that we attended to be very hypocritical and judgemental and I was always turned off by the experience.

You can have a beauitful and spiritual ceremony and it doesn't have to be in a catholic church. If its the image of walking down the aisle that you really want, you can get that at any chapel. But if its the blessing of the Catholic Church and the recognitions of your marriage by the Church that you want then you have to go by their rules, and I'm pretty sure that they don't recognize your marriage until its been done in the church

I agree with Meta. And the rules are dense. If they don't appeal to you or fit your situation, do something that is more in lie with your life.

The marriage prep in our diocese was really simple and actually helpful in a lot of ways, just a saturday 9a-3p, so I wouldn't let that scare you away.

You can also have a catholic wedding without the full mass, which would shorten it considerably, and if his/your family aren't catholic it might be nice to do it that way.

I've never heard of having a civil ceremony blessed by the church, but that doesn't mean it's not possible.

We are getting married in a united church. 25 min ceremony and no marriage prep classes. Just what we want

Katie, I don't think you are being a hypocritical at all. The rules re birth control are man made. There is a huge difference between the dogma & the doctrine of the Catholic Church. You were created w/ free will to choose to do what the Church considers a sin. You are also allowed to disagree w/ the rules but still be a practicing Catholic. As long as you embrace the Nicene Creed, you are a Catholic in your heart. If you are missing Confirmation, that can easily be rectified with private classes w/ your priest. If it means that much to you, and you truly want to be married in the eyes of the Cath Church, just have the ceremony, but not the Nuptial Mass. It would still recognized by the Church as a valid marriage. And yes, you would still have to follow the petty rules and the take the classes.

Kris, It is my understanding, and I can be wrong. Having a marriage blessed and convalidation are technically one and the same. Here is a link that may help:

http://www.americancatholic.org/messenger/feb2004/feature2.asp

We're having a catholic ceremony we had to go to 2 classes and meet with our priest 4 times in the course of a year for 1 hour at a time, he talked we listened for 3 out 4 meetings and the 4th we chose the readings. the classes were $100 each so $200 for both including food. the cost for the church is $300 plus $20 for each alter server plus whatever the organist wants usually $100-200. its expensive getting married in a church BUT its something we both wanted and was important to us.

Also i never heard of a no alcohol rule, its just you, FH, or witnesses (BM/MOH) cant be drunk that makes the marriage non legit basically.

We had a Catholic ceremony outside of Mass (just means we opted out of having communion since most of our guests aside from FH's immediate family were not Catholic). I actually did the RCIA Program since I was unbaptized and received three Sacraments at the Easter Vigil in April. The RCIA Program was more daunting than the Pre-Cana classes that we took. FH's childhood church was not very strict at all! The boys were allowed to have a shot before hand in the back of the church & if the girls wanted to we could have sip mimosas. They didn't have any restrictions on decorations or on type of dress I could wear.

I honestly think that if you wanted to have a Catholic ceremony than you can find a church in your area that is willing to work with you on certain "restrictions". All the rules are basically dependent on which Priest marries you. I know that if we had gotten married at the church I did the RCIA classes at, we would have had stricter rules to follow.

I am in the same boat as you. Born and raise Catholic but I haven't been frequenting as much as previous years. I don't 100% believe in everything that Catholic Church stands for just like I don't 100% believe in the political party i affiliate with. I believe everyone has the right to think and feel and still believe in what they believe in. Especially as Catholics are very traditional and sometimes those traditional values don't hold up during these times.

My fiance wasn't keen on taking the weekly bible classes so he can become Catholic (he had to get baptized, 1st communion and confirmation and I had to finish my confirmation). When he thought all that was over we had to do a weekend couples retreat which I thought would be really fun but Mr. Grumpy was not having it. I guess you could say you DID do it but he did it with a grumpy attitude because he knew it would mean a lot for me and also himself as he wanted to get married in a church as well just didn't know all it had to take for it to be in a Catholic Church.

I think for the matter of marrying in a church it's more of how you envisioned your wedding day; if you've always imagined getting married in a church and can't see it any other way whether you attend church regularly or not, I think it's worth going through all the hoops to get it done. If you feel this is too much for your and your fiance there is nothing wrong with a civil ceremony either! Don't feel obligated to marry in a church if it's what your parents want or what you think you should do because you're Catholic. Do what is best for you two.