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Angela
Just Said Yes April 2022

Catholic Ceremony or Officiant?

Angela, on June 4, 2019 at 8:48 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 16
Hi y’all! Newly engaged and excited! ☺️ But now the discussions start as to where we’re gonna get married. I’m a practicing Catholic (I don’t make it to church every Sunday) but I try to and my fiancé is non-denominational. I’m having a tough time with what I want to do. Of course, my fiancé is going with the flow and wants to do whatever I wanna do. But I’m having a tough time deciding! The venue I’m interested in has a chapel which is gorgeous but its not a church. I’m split with where to have the ceremony. Please help!

16 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on July 17, 2019 at 10:24 PM
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    Except in limited areas of the country, a priest can only perform a marriage in a church. And if your marriage is not performed by a priest, it won't be recognized by the Catholic church unless you get a special dispensation. If the Catholic church is important to you, it's probably best to get married in a church.

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  • Autumn
    Dedicated September 2019
    Autumn ·
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    Well I think it depends if you want to be married in the Catholic Church. If I remember correctly it has to be in a church. Also don’t forget if you want a priest to marry you, you’ll have to go through the classes. I am not practicing anymore but I do remember that in the views of catholicism if you aren’t married in the Catholic Church just legally then you aren’t married in gods eyes. So it just kind of depends on how much you believe in all the rules of the Catholic Church and how important it is to you. How this helped at least a little!
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  • Pattie
    Expert June 2020
    Pattie ·
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    I’d say go for the chapel but see about having your priest officiant the wedding! Best of both worlds!
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    If you are a practicing Catholic, I’d think you’d want your marriage to be recognized by the church. So, more than likely you would have to have your ceremony in the church.
    You can always meet with your priest and discuss your options. My priest was very easy to work with and listened to what we wanted (we threw around the idea of a destination wedding at first) and gave suggestions to make sure our marriage was recognized/church official.
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated November 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    We’re preparing for our Catholic Church wedding. We had to go through RCIA so we could do all our sacraments on our wedding day. You say your fiancé is non denomination, is he willing to convert to catholic so you could have your catholic wedding? If not, then you could it in a chapel. Our first wedding was in a Vegas chapel and it was beautifully decorated.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    As a non-Christian who attempted to get Catholic approval for a wedding in the Church with my FH, know that there are many obstacles, and the priest of your church may still say no.

    The priest cannot marry you outside of the church.

    I suggest talking with your priest, but ... be aware, there are obstacles.

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    If he's a baptized Christian he doesn't have to convert to Catholicism to be married in a Catholic church. Ditto the PPs; I suggest you talk to your priest ASAP about your options, OP! Generally the church will not recognize your marriage unless it's performed in a sanctified church.

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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated November 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    They would still need to get their first communion and confirmation in order for the wedding to be a sacrament. Some priests may offer a blessing, but it is not recognized by the church. Both my husband and I were baptized as babies through the Catholic Church and they had us attend the classes so we could do all three sacraments the same day. Again, some priests will marry you in their church, but only offer a blessing. I agree with all PP’s, talk to the priest and see what they say.
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  • Furture Mrs. G
    Expert September 2019
    Furture Mrs. G ·
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    I would say go with what your heart is telling you. if you wanted to get married in a Catholic church there are some things your FH needs to do so you guys can be able to marry (mostly sacraments usually 6 month class). When FH proposed to me we knew that we wanted to get married in the Catholic church. If anything have you thought about getting married in the venue you are interested in and then maybe if you decide you want to be married through the Catholic church and your FH is cool with it have a small ceremony maybe a year after wedding with just your immediate family and your in laws? Just a thought. But, ultimately GO WITH YOUR HEART AND WHAT YOUR HEART DESIRES.

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  • A
    Dedicated February 2019
    AnnaG ·
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    I would definitely talk to your priest about your options. We had a Catholic wedding & we were on the same boat - I'm Catholic & my husband is non-denominational. We didn't have to do anything special for him to be able to be married specifically, just the typical catholic marriage prep classes, etc that we had to do together (which we would have also had to do if we were both Catholic). In most places, your FH likely doesn't have to actually become a catholic to have a catholic wedding, he just typically has to be a baptized christian of some sort.

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  • Maria
    Super October 2019
    Maria ·
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    Agreed, this was my experience. My FH isn't even baptized so that just limits us so we aren't able to have a mass and will have a different version of the ceremony but we are still able to get married in a Catholic Church and we did all the regular prep classes.

    OP, if you imagine you and your FH pursuing and attending the Catholic faith during your married life, then I would consider getting married in the church. If you are just so/so about it, then I would just get married in the non-Catholic chapel and save yourself the preparation. Talk to a priest and he can give you great feedback.

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    The wedding can still be recognized in the church if only one person is Catholic, as long as they both agree to raise any children that result from the marriage Catholic. The future spouse does not need to go through communion or confirmation. It's not just a blessing; the marriage is still a sacrament as long as the future spouse is a baptized Christian of some sort.


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  • Angela
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Angela ·
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    Thank you so much for the reply! ☺️
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  • S
    Dedicated February 2020
    Stephnie ·
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    These days things are very different. It is up to your Parish what they allow. I am not Catholic but my fiancé is. He wanted very much to be married in the church he served as an altar boy in.

    We do have to have a few counseling sessions and we have to do a weekend encounter and a one day encounter. I do not have to convert nor
    do I even have to be Baptized in any church. I just had to promise to never try to hamper his faith and we won’t be having children or I would have to commit to the same for them. Not even have to vow to raise them Catholic.
    The Church will recognize our marriage as valid. And it isn’t just this church. His Godfather is a Monsignor in the Midwest and he is very open, which is amazing as he has been a priest for 50 years. So it just depends on your church! Lucky for me so my FH can have what he really wants.
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  • K
    Dedicated August 2019
    Kate ·
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    I was concerned with this initially, too. I'm Catholic, FH is Presbyterian. We both wanted at the least a church wedding, and we were getting married near my FH's hometown. His childhood Pastor is marrying us.

    You have to ask yourself if it will bother you to *not* have a Catholic ceremony. I thought I would care, but decided I appreciated FH's relationship with the pastor for a wedding vs. some rando Catholic priest (im an Easter/Christmas Catholic...) I worried about raising kids as Catholic later, but honestly, I came to peace with the decision and figure I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. It's a PIA for your FH but if you feel strongly, just do it.

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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    You should discuss with your priest what your options are. We were recently at a "catholic" wedding in a non-catholic chapel. it was just the receiving of the marriage sacrament but not a full mass. It was performed by a catholic priest so i think the couple needed to get permission from both the catholic church and chapel

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