Catholic annulment: his ex-wife is not nice and the church will need to talk to her?!

Thank you (and everyone else) so much for this! I wish I had known the processes sooner but the only thing we can do is move forward, right?

I didn't read all of the responses, but I want to add that in my experience and my FH's experience with annulments, the priests can see through the nonsense. I wouldn't worry that they would believe the ex-wife, though they might need to ask some additional questions just to say they did their due diligence. Best of luck!

When my dad got an anullment my mom had to sign something. That was in the last year. I don't think they asked her any questions though. My mom remarried before then but did so in a Nondenominational church so that she didn't have to anull her marriage to my dad.

Just get married at a different church. Try a chapel somewhere.

So much ex wife craziness!! Hell hath no fury! Be strong and push forward.. pray for patience and understanding!!

My FH and I are both Catholic and have decided against a religious ceremony. I didn't want the hassle of going through the counseling and FH didn't want the long church ceremony. My mother and father were together 30 yrs and my mother somehow managed to get it annulled. My father did have to give his consent though and he definitely stalled the process. Are you dead set on a Catholic ceremony? Would you consider a different type of officiant?

Why do you want to get married there!! The whole thing may not be completed by the time your wedding comes? Wtf church lawyers? That's terrible I thought churches were supposed to be like nice to others not require lawyers for people to want to get married. This is soso sad:/ Why are you adding stress to yourself..get married at a different church or venue..sounds like such a hassle good luck!!

Well said @Amy!

@Stacey, no spouse gives consent, nor do they stall the process. If the spouse stalls, the tribunal moves forward.

@Allie, it's important to her that's why. No, you don't need lawyers to get married. If you look in to the process, you might find it cathartic to the person(s) going through it. If she thinks it's worth the "hassle" that is her choice.

I am Catholic but I do disagree with many of their rules. If I were going thru what you are, I wouldn't want the stress or drama from her that may be involved, and forgo the Catholic wedding.

@Nonna - Just wanted to say "thanks" for your last point. I learned more about how H handles conflict and stress as we went through his annulment, and I think we're stronger because of it.

There are lots of people who think this is worth the "hassle". One's faith is an intensely personal thing, and one's marriage is also an intensely personal thing. As many of the PPs here have shown, lots of people who identify as Catholic choose not to have Catholic ceremonies, which is their personal choice. But a lot of posts on this thread seem to discount the very real fact that those of us who have gone through the annulment process did so because we wanted to get married in the church, and so we made a different choice. Heck...we got burned on H's annulment (see my first post in this thread) and we STILL want to go through the steps to get our marriage recognized, because our church is an important part of our community. It isn't sad or crazy (to us) to want to be part of that community. Could we leave and go to a different church? Of course. But we like ours and feel at home there.

This conversation goes the same way anytime someone talks about an annulment on WW. Is it an archaic and somewhat dumb rule? Yes. But I chose to be Catholic (literally; I'm a convert), we chose to want to get married in the church; and we chose to do what we needed to do for that to happen, which for us involved an annulment and the whole process.

It's one thing to say in response to posts like these, "Wow. That's a lot of effort for something that I don't think should be that hard. OP, I wouldn't do this, and here's what I might do in your situation, but good luck." It's another to call the whole process crazy, or sad. We talk a lot on WW about how decisions that don't impact guests' comfort are nobody's business but the couples'. This is the definition of one of those decisions, and if OP (and all of the rest of us who have pursued/are pursuing annulments) want to do that, it's our choice.

Thanks to all for your feedback. We have decided to go through with the process of annulment BUT we will begin after the wedding to prevent unwanted stress and with the intent of having it convalidated later. Focusing on the goal, I want our marriage recognized by the church so whether we do this now or later, it eventually will be. "Of the plan doesn't work out, change the plan, not the goal."

As for the ceremony, the church we put our deposit in was gracious enough to give it back and we found this beautiful Protestant church which was twice the cost, but that's okay because they had the date available and have little restrictions. (Pic attached)

Thanks again to everyone for your input and support.

From the outside

View Quoted Comment It is NOT arbitrary. What an odd thing to say about a faith and religious tradition that you know so very little about obviously. Marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament that binds a Man and his Wife with God Himself. It’s a gift of grace that can only be achieved through the sacrament. It is not a choice based on random choice or a personal whim. Nor is the choice of marriage, in a sacramental union, an overstep of The Church’s authority. I do not believe this post is about “marriage” as it is conducted by the state. It is about how to handle another who is so angry and entitled, they are willing to poison others in the name of their own spite.

View Quoted Comment Getting married in another church is NOT the same thing as being married in The Catholic Church. You all are responding to the secular definition of marriage; which I can understand, if you are not Catholic. However this woman is Catholic and therefore marriage can ONLY be given as a sacrament in a Catholic or Apostolic Church.

View Quoted Comment Yes, The Church has lawyers. They are intended to defend our Faith including the Sacrament or marriage. Why would anyone that is a Non-Catholic respond to this post? Would you tell a Muslim woman that she is divorced if her Husband only said he divorces her 2 instead of 3 times? If you would tell her yes then it is because you have no understanding of that Faith. It is the same here with Catholics. Yes, Catholics are Christians. They are the first Christians. It just is shocking to me how many people are telling this wonderful person to skip out on her Faith and simply do it a different way because it seems like a hassle to them. The annulment process is healing ultimately, even though difficult. It allows everyone to know where each other stands and truly allows for an examination of conscience. Please pray for patience. It is difficult to be separated from Grace for the time of the annulment process; but, it is worth it to have a Sacramental marriage.

I have been a single mother for 5 years after my husband disappeared with his mistress in to the thin air. I have done all my possible best to get my husband back home but instead he filed for divorce.
The summary of it all is that Just last month my husband has gone to meet my parents with loads of apology, he has gone there like 15 times without my knowledge asking forgiveness. He has come back to his rightful sense and right now my family is on my tail demanding that I forgive him. last month my bestfriend who is gay practically helped me to contact a psychic called sango priestess on (lovesolutiontemple.com) and (lovesolutionspell.net) email is (**************************@*****.***), after convincing me that the psychic love solution spell works like fire. But I didn't believe because I had given up on my husband.
I do not know how the psychic did it, all I know is that my gay friend said in 12 hours my husband would be back wanting me back irresistibly. Now I am confused, My husband has refused to go back home instead he lives with my parents now in Las Vegas. He said he will not go home until I take him back...isn't this amazing? everyone experiencing heartbreak should meet that psychic for solution on how to get ex back. I am happy my family is reuniting back to the way it use to be.

I have been a single mother for 5 years after my husband disappeared with his mistress in to the thin air. I have done all my possible best to get my husband back home but instead he filed for divorce.
The summary of it all is that Just last month my husband has gone to meet my parents with loads of apology, he has gone there like 15 times without my knowledge asking forgiveness. He has come back to his rightful sense and right now my family is on my tail demanding that I forgive him. last month my bestfriend who is gay practically helped me to contact a psychic called sango priestess on (lovesolutiontemple.com) and (lovesolutionspell.net) email is (sangopriestesslovesolution@ gmail. com), after convincing me that the psychic love solution spell works like fire. But I didn't believe because I had given up on my husband.

I do not know how the psychic did it, all I know is that my gay friend said in 12 hours my husband would be back wanting me back irresistibly. Now I am confused, My husband has refused to go back home instead he lives with my parents now in Las Vegas. He said he will not go home until I take him back...isn't this amazing? everyone experiencing heartbreak should meet that psychic for solution on how to get ex back. I am happy my family is reuniting back to the way it use to be.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for these posts! I am SO SICK of the Catholic bashing that goes on here.

NO ONE is forced to become Catholic. But if you are Catholic, then BE one truly and don't "pick and choose" what rules you're willing to follow.