Cash Wedding Gifts?

You don't ask for cash. You don't ask for gifts, period. You graciously accept what is chosen to be given to you.

I personally don't like to give cash. A registry will give people like me guidance.

Yes set up a registry. It's rude to ask for money.

Lol Cathy. We have had some doozies today.

1) Asking for cash is rude.

2) People who want to give cash or think cash gifts are appropriate (as per their culture) will do so on their own.

3) Registries are helpful to ensure you don't get duplicates. If you're not completely enthused by the idea of having one, make a small one or skip it.

4) Whatever you decide, don't put anything about it on your invitation.

I understand the cultural aspect, so many of your family will follow it but otherwise a small registry will let people know.

Are many of your guests from the same cultural background? If so, I imagine you wouldn't really need to do much. For those who are not, it would be helpful to set up a small registry which gives a light nudge to your guests that you are not expecting many physical gifts. eta clarity

@cathy Like she said she is first generation Chinese and she obviously not been one here.

Set a small registry if you want. If most guest are Chinese I assume they will give you cash anyway. You dont need to ask, most adults get the point.

Is everyone invited to your wedding old school Chinese like your mom? Don't ask for cash. Set up a small registry.

You do not ASK for money (or any gifts)! If this is common in your culture, then people will know to give you money. There is no reason to ask or remind them. And even if some people arrive with a physical gift, you simply thank them and move on. You don't choose what others give you.

Perhaps I phrased it wrong. My question was to ask how to guide people if they want to gift so I don't get a million questions about a registry if I didn't set it up.

I didn't expect this to be a landmine! Yikes! Like I said, it's a cultural difference. I'm sorry if it's that's super upsetting.

If you set up a small registry, people will tend to get that you prefer cash.

It is still considered rude in America to ask for cash.

Word Iv mouth from others in the bridal party is an acceptable way to spread the word.

(If people ask what you want)

This is a touchy subject, but you need to know your audience (guests)

Know what they will or won't be offended by.

And do you.

Good luck!

Hmm. I don't know. If someone asks where you're registered, you tell them. If you don't register, and tell them you're not registering, one of three things will happen:

1) They'll give you cash

2) They'll give you a gift card

3) They'll buy you something you think you'll want.

But telling people you want cash sounds greedy (to me - but I was raised that you don't talk about money, and you never ask for it).

If you have a full registry: "That is so sweet you'd like to give a gift. We created a registry at X Stores for anyone who is interested in giving a physical gift."

Small registry: "That is so sweet you'd like to give a gift. We created a small registry of things at X Stores, but the gift of your presence is enough."

No registry: "That is so sweet you'd like to give a gift, but we decided against creating a registry."

You set up a small registry, and people take the hint. No Honeyfunds, no mention of cash gifts, you let adults be adults and give what they want.

Hi StarKitty! Welcome to WeddingWire. It looks like you've stumbled on a hot topic. Don't take it personally that you'll get some responses that seem like an overreaction to your question. It's just one of those topics that comes up very frequently (almost daily) here on the forums. If you check out the Welcome New Users post at the top of the forums, there's a list of those topics to watch out for. It doesn't mean you can't post about them, just gives you a heads-up about what to expect.

As for your question, just make a small registry. Pick a few items for people who want to give gifts from a registry, and the rest will know to give cash.

@WWLaura

Thank you! Haha I quickly found that out and it kind of startled me. ^_^;;;;;

I will be sure to check that out.

I really appreciate everyone's words (however it was put) since now I know how to contextualize it for my mom and how to not worry about how to phrase anything and just be more subtle with a smaller registry. Sorry for the stumble.

I'm Asian and first generation here too. Many of my Asian relatives are old school and will give envelopes of cash. This is very cultural and the norm for us. There is no need to ask or remind them. FH is Caucasian, his family, especially Grandpa, kept asking where we are registered, so we ended up registering for a few small upgrades. Also, congratulations and welcome, be sure to post an "intro" thread! We like to know our community members

Thanks OP for taking the responses in stride. There are many many brides on here who have gotten defensive and lashed out at much less. We appreciate you seeing the responses for what they are: tough love. Some of us are blunt, cold, or sarcastic with our responses, but they all come from a place of wanting you to have the best wedding for you and your guests. Better to get the tough love here than have it go on behind your back. And better to offend us and learn a lesson than ignore us and offend people you actually care about.

Welcome to the forums! Stick around and lurk for a while. You'll learn the hot topics very quickly and get some great ideas to make your wedding a blast! If you get invested, there are a number of active users who are even friends in real life. This community is what you make of it. Enjoy!

There's never a polite way to ask for money. If many of your guests are from your background they will probably follow their traditions and give cash without being told to. I do think you should set up a small registry for people who don't like giving cash at weddings.

I think people's preference for giving money vs. gifts depends somewhat on where you live (and probably many other factors). There was a post about it once, and IIRC people in the Northeast mostly gave $ while people in the South mostly gave gifts. DH is half Chinese, and so we did get a few red envelopes from his side, whereas I never even knew until I started coming to WW that people gave money in America.

If you make a small registry, that information isn't part of the invite either. You can put it on your website, or share the information by word of mouth/when people ask. (and have it be a real registry, not a honeyfund or else you will get an even bigger negative response!)