Cash bar?

Canter, you wrote:

"I don't have to justify anything". No, you don't, but you obviously feel the need to.

"The fact that you want to sit here and debate and judge someone for how they do things is hilarious just goes to show what is wrong with todays society." YOU are the individual that wants to sit here and debate, blah, blah, blah. So, according to you, what's wrong with today's society is hilarious? I haven't laughed -- even smiled -- about what's wrong with today's society. Not once. How does your cash bar come close to terrorism and all of the other horrors we hear about every day on the news? That's what's wrong with today's society, not your big guest list/budget shortfall issues. Methinks you're very young. If you can equate your cash bar with what's wrong with today's society, there's no point in continuing this discussion.

FH doesn't drink and I'm good with a glass or 2 of wine. You still have more than a year to save for liquor. We pushed our wedding back 4 months to pay our liquor. If you don't provide alcohol the people who need it to have fun will leave early. Be prepared for that. People here feel very strongly about this subject. Don't cry, there will be very blunt responses

I'm always the odd one out. I'm reluctantly going to offer my opinion. I wouldn't say it's tacky to have a cash bar. It's nice if there is an open bar or limited on beer and wine. Everyone's situation is different so I try not to judge. I've been to fun weddings where it was open and cash bar. Keep in mind if you're worried about trying to limit guests consumption with a cash bar it might back fire. A heavy drinker will always drink heavy. If it's budget. Maybe look at everything to see if you can just limit it to beer and wine.

Hope you come up with the best solution for your wedding.

@Canter I speak for myself (and likely many others here) when I say I really don't give a damn if you offer an open bar or cash bar. I am not invited to your wedding so it's no sweat off my back. Many here are trying to give you an idea of the things your guests may say about the subject but if you have no qualms with requiring your nearest and dearest to pay for part of an event you claim to be hosting then you do you!

@Rachel... You're my hero. You said it exactly right!!!

We don't drink either, but we're still having a full open bar. If you didn't dance, would you charge the guests for the DJ?

Fucking hell. Debate on a wedding forum is "what's wrong with today's society"??? Dude, turn on the damn news!

Op, instead of doing a cash bar, do either an consumption bar or just beer and wine. My FH and I and his best man are the only big drinkers in our crowd. So we are offering a couple cases of beer, a couple bottles of wine, and we are doing one signature cocktail with vodka and one with whiskey. (We only have 13 people invited, so not a whole lot of people with only 3 heavy drinkers)

I'm doing one (kind of) And before you all jump down my throat let me explain why.

(Yes, I have 5 stars, yes I also know the views on this topic...)

Here's why..it's nothing to do with budget or not wanting alcohol. Some of my family members are huge, HUGE alcoholics. My grandpa recently passed from basically overdosing on alcohol... my family members would NOT know when to stop. These family members are also on a restricted budget due to injuries (you guess it) caused by alcohol. So to avoid any kind of stupid shenanigans we decided cash bar. Because believe me, it would happen. And no, I can't not invite them, they are really close family members who are starting to finally (thankfully) get help.

Now, to the kind of part, there will be one keg of beer...after that's gone, its up to them. Which I know said family members won't pay because their limited budget. And yes, ALLL my guests know.

So let's start the negative comments, I have on my hater shades lol.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, do what makes YOU comfortable.

Please don't do cash! Beer and wine at the very least.

Yes...

@Hamwhites

You can't control your family. What's to say these family members who are huge, huge alcoholics won't come across a bit of money before your big day and get hideously drunk off your cash bar still? Or even just smuggle in their own booze? Get a licensed bar tender, they will cut them off from drinking if it looks like they've had enough. That will be way more effective then charging your family for drinks.

My FH & I are doing a cash bar with 1, maybe 2 kegs. Most of our family/friends are beer drinkers anyway so I feel like that's sufficient enough. I would love to be able to do a full open bar for my family & friends, but it's just not doable at this point for us anymore. If unexpected life events happening that prevent me from being able to afford an open bar makes me a bad host, then so be it.

Edited to change wording.

It was my honour to provide enough booze for my loved ones to drink as much as they pleased on my wedding day.

Always the same arguments.

Pro-cash: There will be an alcoholic at my wedding. My grandparents are religious and don't condone drinking.

Anti-cash: I have to pay for a brand new dress and brand new shoes, because I don't already own either of those items. Then I have to fly in from across the country, because I don't go to any

local weddings.

You know your crowd, do what works for you.

Our venue allowed us to bring our own alcohol so we supplied a little of everything so people would have a choice.

Yes it is tacky. Haven't read all the comments (I can only imagine). Will give you my personal experience.

Originally we considered a cash bar. We don't drink. My family doesn't drink. DH has two brothers who are tend to get drunk a lot. One causes a scene. On top of that our venue was at least 45 mins away from everyone. Told two of my best friends we were going to have a cash bar. They both said ok.

Fast forward a few months and we decided cash bar was tacky (for reasons I'm sure many already stated) and when with an open bar. Told the same friend our change and her response made me realize even more how tacky a cash bar was. Their response was along the lines of thank god and they had both discussed the best way to tell me how tacky it was.

We had open bar. No issues with brothers. Adults were responsible. Figured most wouldn't drink. Just about everyone had a glass of wine with dinner or some sort of alcohol, even those who don't usually drink.

I come from an alcoholic family and FH has 3 children. Least to say it's a kid friendly wedding for us and with the family dynamic I have, we opted for a cash bar. I've talked with a lot of friends and family members, and they say it's more than understandable with us paying for everything ourselves, the family dynamic, and children present. If you two are paying for your wedding, then others should be understanding that bars are expensive and no really necessary to celebrate your love.

I'm with the majority here, don't do a cash bar. Having beer and wine is a budget friendly alternative.

@ashley- my friends said the same thing to my face. Chances are they don't want to hurt your feelings. Hence the idea of Internet forums in order to get honest opinions.