Cash bar?

Well for 1 the unlimited drinks aren't included and 2 i don't NEED alcohol to have fun. Alot of my guests have kids or pregnant wasn't going to do a bar but decided that I would. Everybody is different and the fact that everyone wants to JUDGE me on how I am doing things is hilarious!!! But please keep on because your giving me stuff to laugh at. Their is no RULE book that any bride or groom has to follow. Its what works for you and your guests not what everyone on a group says you have to do. So if I want to do a cash bar thats my business. Y'all want to spend your money on everyones alcohol because its needed for y'all to have a good time thats y'alls business. To each their own.

Celia for the win! 100%!

You don't compile a guest list and then try to set a budget. You set a budget and then compile a guest list. Cash bars are considered an unhosted wedding element, and there is no part of such an an event that should be unhosted. I'd invite ten with a hosted bar before I'd even consider 50 with a cash bar. Your guest expenses, which are significant, should end the moment they enter your wedding...so either host the bar or don't have one (and accept the early exits), but don't expect them to pay for the party you want.

*Kevin hart voice* You want some juice?

They arent spending hundreds to get to my wedding. Its not a destination wedding. Rooms I'm paying for for those who need them like my out of town guests and wedding party. If i want to have my wedding like a "house party" again my business. And the fact that you think that the guests have to have a 3 course meal and an open bar just goes to show the difference in people. Again you don't have to agree with how I do things but don't sit here and act like your better then me because my guests don't require an open bar. My friends and family are obviously wayyyy different than yours.

"I don't need alcohol to have fun"

-every boring person in the history of ever.

Smh .....

Canter? You can stop trying to justify it. No one is buying it, okay?

After a nice long shift.. this was fun to peruse. Thanks!! *as I celebrate the day with a beer in hand*

At least offer beer and wine. It is your celebration, host guests appropriately.

I don't have to justify anything. Thats what your not getting. The fact that you want to sit here and debate and judge someone for how they do things is hilarious just goes to show what is wrong with todays society. Just because you chose to do something one way and I another doesn't mean that either is right. Its a matter of what fits that person and those around them. Thats what im noticing on this whole forum. The fact that someone asks a question doesn't mean that people who comments on it and doesn't agree with the majority doesn't mean they are wrong or should be bad mouthed or that people should assume that their BIG day is going to be any better then the next one. Its a forum its for opinions not agruing or degrading each other because of our differences of opinions. Just saying. Jess G. It is your and your FH day. You all pick whichever one works best for you and don't worry about what people you don't even know thoughts are on it.

Trust me, this is not what is wrong with today's society.....

You're*

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You're welcome.

You are throwing a party to celebrate your relationship. Guest should not have to worry about paying for drinks.

So yes cash bar= rude

Oh, the defenses are now raised! I will not listen. Your guests are entitled drunks, and mine aren't. Yay.

The OP asked, quite simply, "Is it tacky to have a cash bar? FH and I don't drink but some of our guests do." The majority answer is clear, and hopefully, she'll take that to heart, come back with a BAM and talk about her fabulous party.

Canter, you, on the other hand, are confusing regular life with a once in a lifetime celebration.

1. "Well for 1 the unlimited drinks aren't included .... Well, at least you put the primary motivation in the primary spot. You have to pay for them, so they aren't happening. You could have gone with a smaller guest list and hosted them properly, but that leads us to number 2...

2. "...i don't NEED alcohol to have fun. Alot of my guests have kids or pregnant wasn't going to do a bar but decided that I would." You decided to do a bar because you don't want to be the last ones leaving your reception. Props for seeing the future. Guess what? I don't need alcohol to fun either! Playing with my grandson, embracing my brother and feeling like I'm home, laughing with my daughter as we walk out of Walmart, and walking into a birthday party that was set up just for me? Fun, fun, fun, and fun. I have lots of fun. I don't need alcohol to have fun, but if you invite me to an expensive, four hour, social event -- allegedly hosted -- that has been planned and I've known about for a few months, I absolutely, like most adults, expect to be hosted with an adult beverage. Keep swimming against the tide...it still won't change nature (and let's not forget, the real reason you're doing this is reason #1 -- it usually is).

3. "...the fact that everyone wants to JUDGE me on how I am doing things is hilarious!!! But please keep on because your giving me stuff to laugh at." I'm picking up a lot of feeling in your post, but none of it remotely resembles positive, out of control histrionics. Maybe negative?

4. "So if I want to do a cash bar thats my business. Y'all want to spend your money on everyones alcohol because its needed for y'all to have a good time thats y'alls business. To each their own." It is your business, but once you posted it here, it became our business...or as you put it, "that's y'alls business." So, there's that. Yes, the fact is that most brides would prefer quality over quantity at their weddings, but we've heard your refrain before...and it doesn't begin and end with hosting adults with adult beverages. Sometimes it crappy food made in someone's uninspected, kitchen -- or sometimes, and this will make you feel better -- the hosts ask their guests to bring the food. Hysterical, right?

Nothing new here. There never is with this argument. You want the guests (for all of the obvious reasons), but you don't want the full, adult hosting responsibilities. So what? You offered that information, and you got responses that will be exactly what many of your guests will be thinking, but they'll never tell you (they'll tell each other -- and I've heard it in the ladies' room and in the parking lot).

But go ahead, fly your cash bar flag. I won't even address the fact that you think a three course entrée is extreme. For your information, it's standard fare for any dinner, not just a special, celebratory wedding dinner.

Good luck.

Canter calling Celia a troll. This is fun. Keeping it klassy then, I see.

Yeah nothing is included in my venue price except the hall. I have to ask if they will do a limited bar, didn't even think about that. I just don't know what they drink so I wouldn't even know what to serve. When I say some of our guests drink, I mean like ten drink.

Yes, it's tacky!

Jess, sorry Canter Wedding and her cash bar took over your thread.

Ask your venue about hosting beer and wine only. That is perfectly acceptable. You don't have to serve shots (in fact, most of our venues -- in the NYC suburbs -- won't serve them anymore). If you can add one signature cocktail, great. If you can add sangria, great. If you can do beer and wine, great. The point is not to host a fraternity party...he point is to host an adult party, and there's nothing more adult than enjoying a glass of wine at a lovely celebration.l

Jess, if only a few of your guests drink, ask about a consumption bar where you pay by the drink. As Rachel says, hosting beer and wine only is an option.

This comes up about 5 times per day and the answer is the same....Yes, it's tacky!