Cash Bar, Open Bar or a Combination of The Two

In all of the years that I've been attending weddings, I've only seen a cash bar once (that was at the New Hampshire wedding of two older, very wealthy people who could have well afforded to pay for the full, top shelf bar that was set up in the reception space. I know about their wealth because one of them was my father-in-law, and yes, after absorbing the expenses of an 11 hour round trip, renting a hotel room for two nights, and paying for a tux rental for my husband, I was offended by having to pull out my wallet to get a cocktail). Beyond that, I've never paid for a drink at a wedding. I've only been to two dry weddings (both very religious couples), and I have to say, many of the guests started leaving after dinner. No judgment, just an observation.

We purchased a certain amount of wine and when it runs out then cash bar will start. I do not want people to come to my wedding just to drink/get drunk (I am pretty sure the people I invited wont but I def have seen this before) and I have seen people abuse the open bar thing. We are not going to announce it, they will just turn it when the wine runs out.

I am 100% against cash bars...but then, i have never been to a wedding that WASN'T open bar. It just expected and assumed in our area.

FH and I were both adamant about having a good selection of liquor at our reception and will be paying for a shuttle service to take guests back and forth between the reception and the hotel as needed.

Just because the booze is flowing freely does NOT mean that every single person will take advantage of it and get trashed. Sure, those that are immature, irresponsible and were just allowed to legally drink within the past year would probably do so, but thats usually not the majority. THATS what increases the chances of alcohol related accidents, not the fact that they didn't have to pay for a drink that night.

Look at how many drunk drivers caused accidents after leaving a bar where they PAID for drinks all night long. It can happen anywhere based on the sheer stupidity of people. Having a cash bar does not enlighten a stupid person and give them clear vision. All it means is that they will be paying for the drinks all night that will get them drunk.

I understand that there are some people that have strong feelings against having a cash bar because they feel that they could be preventing an accident or are responsible for others actions (which would only happen if you chose a venue that require the hosts to have a liquor license), but the very fact of the matter is that YOU ARE NOT.

Bottom line: those who want to get drunk will get drunk, no matter what. And those that are drunk and want to drive ARE going to despite any efforts to prevent it and people need to stop trying to become martyrs by not understand what they do have control over.

@maltese thanks for saving me the effort of typing that exact thing.

And OP, would you serve yourself & your wedding party steak and lobster while everyone else gets salad, but the option to buy steak? Absolutely not. That is exactly what you are doing with your bar.

Maltese is correct. If a guest wants to get drunk, they're getting drunk whether you have an open bar, a limited bar, a cash bar, or a dry wedding. I've seen it at several of the essentially dry weddings I've worked. I've heard the snarky comments from guests who are unhappy with the fact that all the alcohol they're getting is from a bottle of wine that is shared between eight people at a table. I've seen them in the parking lot drinking after someone did a liquor store run, and I've seen very well dressed female guests passing a flask in the ladies' lounge. I'd much rather have the alcohol controlled by a bartender as the stealth drinkers can easily over indulge.

I'm anti-cash bar!!! We are having an open bar the whole evening. I dislike the idea of my guests having to pay for their drinks. I am also offering a shuttle service at the end of the evening back to the hotel people are staying at to offset the potential for unsafe driving. I live in the Northeast and pretty much all weddings I've been to have been open bar, but for one. And that one was in a hotel and people ran up to their hotel rooms all evening to drink. Not cool. I bought myself, my FH, and the bride and groom multiple rounds. Personally for my wedding though, I don't want my guests to have to do that.

Oh, I didn't realize that the alcohol is only be comped for the bridal party. That's a potentially sticky situation. I'd seriously rethink that one.

@kudos Based on your responses to others, It seems like you already have everything planned for this part of your wedding so I'm just wanting to know what your point was for asking this? Are you trying to gauge how your guests will feel about your decision?

ETA: This is a sincere question, not passing judgement.

Just for the bridal party? Ick.

Not having alcohol because people will get trashed is like not serving a lot of food because people will overeat. You're inviting adults. They'll act like adults. If they have a tendency not to, then don't invite them.

I should have grabbed the popcorn! Jeesh

@Elyse- i have a lot of ideas and I’ve made a lot of decisions regarding my wedding. There's a lot of time till the wedding and i'm able to change my mind at any time. I likely won't finalize certain decisions till the wedding is closer. Just trying to keep an open mind. I’m pretty sure I know how my guests will respond. I’m giving them some wine, which I think they will be happy with and if they want something else or want to get drunk, they will need to work that out on their own, using the cash bar. I should also note, our family and friends would be offended, and embarrassed if we went thousands of dollars in debt to feed them alcohol. I WAS curious about what newlyweds have done and how guests responded. I have a coworker i'm trying to catch-up with to ask her the same question, as she got married a few months ago. What i didn't know, were the STRONG feelings people have on this topic. I've been called rude, the worst host ever, and other negative names. No, they didn't use my name per se but the posts are directed at me.

@Emmy - If i choose to buy some drinks for my wedding party, i will. Is it something the MC needs to announce to the other guests? No.

I'm buying everyone wine... why do i have to feed them other alcohol all night?

Someone made a comment about inviting guests to your house and then selling them drinks. Really? You’re going to compare an “at home” gathering to a wedding? I don’t charge my friends or family when they come over, but I don’t write a grocery list for each person either.

If people want to get drunk, they will. It won't matter who's paying. But, and i've seen this first hand many times, where people may nothing or very little for alcohol and go to town when normally they wouldn’t if drinks were full price..(this is not the main reason we’re having a cash bar) But again, if someone wants to get liquored, they will, no matter what the cost.

Why would your family be offended and embarrassed? I agree don't go into debt, just say after the wine is gone, no more alcohol is be served at all, then just have tea, coffee and soda.

I just want to chime in and say it's definitely a regional thing. I know that a lot of brides on here are seriously offended by the idea of a cash bar, but I think in my whole life I've been to ONE open bar wedding. And that was a family that was rather well-off.

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2nd...

@Angie FTW...

Every wedding with the exception of one i have been to has been a cash bar, there for i've never thought of them being bad ettiquette until I came on to WW. do you girl, do you.

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