Cash Bar, Open Bar or a Combination of The Two

Whomever is hosting should pay the bill, not the guests. Serve what you can afford.

Angie, to answer your question, I usually carry a wristlet or my husband puts the money in his pocket. I carry this because I like to have my cash, our hotel key card, lip gloss, etc in there. Where do you put your ID for the bar? I keep all that stuff in a small wristlet.

You are hosting a party. You should offer drinks if there are adults coming; adults want to drink. You don't have to do premium liquors, you don't have to offer everything on the planet, but beer, wine, soda, signature drink will totally cover it.

I'm in NJ, outside NYC, and in all of my years doing weddings (I think I'm up to about 1200) I have only seen one cash bar. I've seen plenty of beer and wine only bars, but the cash bar thing just isn't done here.

I'm hosting a party which will be comfortable, entertaining, fun, with music, dancing, a great dinner, dessert, pop/soda, water and a couple of glasses of wine for each person. If my guests feel the need to drink something else or get drunk, that's on them.

Why can't i give people the option of having other drinks if they want? Why should i limit their choices to a couple glasses of wine and non alcoholic drinks? Doesn't make sense. (The wedding party will be having all their drinks on us.)

It's a very different mentality where i'm from when it comes to paying for others to get liquored. I'm also not willing to pay $5000-$10000 for an open bar. That's over half the cost of the entire wedding.

@Angie - I carry a purse/clutch to all the weddings I go to, so i have my ID, phone and any other personables i may need or want.

I also want to note, i'm more interested in my family and friends being there to celebrate our marriage, not what i can get out of them. If they can't bring a gift or give us money because they can't afford it, no problem, because they're there to celebrate our union. I expect the same courtesy. If they're unhappy with my lack of spending on "their" evening, the exits are marked.

Wait...you're wedding party is having free drinks all night and everyone else has to pay...no. don't do that. So so so rude.

My venue in total costs $1600. That includes a full open bar for 6 hours, 2 entree buffet with desert table, cake cutting/wrapping, linens, gratuity and tax. This is in metro detroit in a decent area...It can be done on a budget!

I've been to both - and honestly, cash bars don't bother me (and I always have a purse with me, and I always carry cash to a wedding just in case). We did open beer and wine because of the type of our venue (we brought in the alcohol and didn't have a bartender).

Whatever you choose, just please make sure it's good stuff. I went to a cash bar with a very poor choice - as in moscato was the only kind of white wine.

AleighC3 -- There is no way i would find anything like that here....Our venue rental is $1500 alone! That's just to have the building, and that was the cheapest place i could find in the city or surrounding area.

@Emmy--I don't think it's rude at all...i've seen it many times.

@AleighC3 --- i still can't believe you got all that for $1600!? I wish! Our food will be a minimum of $5000

Holy crap, I wish my venue would have included bar for $1600. My food alone was almost 7k...and that wasn't even a lot in our area.

I'd die if I had cash bar. My parents wouldn't even entertain the idea. It screams world worst host!

I think I might compare this debate to describing color to the blind. If it's not a norm where you are from, then it's hard to understand how it can be acceptable.

@Ashley, I usually wear slacks with pockets. But as I have mentioned before in my area I have only seen "Self-serve" bars, no bartender no id checking. Though the ones I have been to there weren't many kids or teenagers to look out for. If there were, the parents would watch them.

Well, I'm having a 50 person wedding including the groom and myself. So it is fairly small. Room rental is included, unless we don't meet the 50 person min. This is everything that is included...tossed or caesar salad, veggie tray with dip, jello, asst. cold salads, fruit bowl, choice of 1 pasta, choice of one veggie, choice of 1 potato or rice, choice of 3 entrees (or 2 entrees w/ chair sashes), dinner rolls, coffee and tea, full alcohol bar, dessert table (cheesecakes, mini pastries, brownies), champagne toast for the head table, cake cutting/ wrapping, vases for centerpieces, and linens. It is priced at $29.95 pp.

Aleigh, that's seriously such a good deal. Mine was $66pp not counting my linens, centerpieces, bar, etc.

A friend of ours had an Open bar for the first two hours and then it was switched to a cash bar, they figured they were willing to pay for a few drinks for their guests but if people wanted to get drunk then that was on their dime. I thought that was an interesting idea, but we have opted for an Open Bar because we don't want our friends and family to have to pay for their drinks.

So I think this is one of those cultural differences.

In the UK it's pretty common to have a cash bar. The general thing is to have a small champagne reception before dinner and/or wine with dinner and everything else is cash bar.

Though I do wonder if it's because us Brits drink a shit-ton. And no one can really afford it.

I know at my cousin's wedding it was a cash bar but my Uncle put a £1000 pounds behind the bar at the start of the night to get everyone going. Once that was gone it was cash only.

But so much of it depends on the venue too. In the UK if you were having a wedding at home then yeah, open bar, but if it's at a hotel or something cash.

But I will say that I think having a cash bar because you really can't justify paying for your guests to get shitfaced is a lot less rude than the comment somewhere above about taking back the wedding gift to pay for your drinks.

I shouldn't be required to pay for you to get drunk. I see no problem with having free soft drinks and then if you want to get drunk knock yourself out, but pay for it.

Now that said, despite my FH being teetotal, we are having an open bar - but we're limiting it to beer and wine and soft drinks. Considering he doesn't drink and I don't drink much we thought that was fair.

I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I plan to serve beer, wine and a signature drink for my wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone to come and pay for drinks full bar or not. Most of my guest are traveling quite a distance to be there and I live in the mountains in a very dark area, I don't want people leaving and driving rip roaring drunk whether they are going home or to a hotel close by. Besides the majority of my guest are not big drinkers so it probably won't matter much as long as I can offer a little taste of some kind of alcohol.

My dad doesn't even drink and made a comment that a cash bar is not acceptable. My mom told me old fashion people wait to seal the card until after dinner and drinks so I better have good food and an open bar (also that I need to make the rounds to tables).

I don't like the idea of a cash bar and I don't even drink. I don't invite people over for a party at home and ask them to pay for each glass of wine. We are the hosts. It comes with the territory. That being said, we are having a beer and wine bar with 2 specialty drinks and when it's gone, that's it. Our caterer is helping us with numbers so it's a good amount but we are going with less on the specialty drinks because I don't want my guests to end up a sloppy mess.