Can’t make my friend’s wedding

I agree with this!

I can see both sides as well. I'm actually kind of in this situation on the other side myself. A friend of mine had something that meant a lot to him scheduled for the weekend of my wedding. I'm hurt that he won't be there because I wanted him to be and I felt like he was choosing a race over his friend's wedding, but the races are very important to him and I know if it didn't conflict he'd be there.

I think the biggest issue with your story though, is that originally you told her you'd be there even though the festival fell on the same day. So maybe she thought that would stand if she had to move it? I think I would be hurt by that too, especially if it was a festival that you could do again next year since you told her you'd go to her wedding. But it does all depend on the relationship you have with this person and you aren't required to go to a wedding just because you were invited. Everyone has a life of their own and you have to do what's going to be best for you and your life.

I agree with this. Festivals happen every year, weddings happen only once in a lifetime. I would be hurt if my friend chose to attend an annual festival over my wedding.

While I see both sides and understand that you already had your tickets, I kind of agree with Sara on this. Weddings are difficult to plan and you'll never match everyone's schedule perfectly, so it's understandable that she was unable to perfectly make it fit your schedule. I personally would choose my friends wedding over an annual festival.

My cousins wedding happened to be on the same weekend as my annual dance recital, and it was out of state. Dance was a huge part of my life, but I don't regret missing 1 recital to attend my cousins wedding.

But if this festival is important to you, then go.

I definitely see both sides of this for sure! I have the same situation with one of my close friends. You can't be two places at once and honestly as much as weddings are about the people getting married, as a guest they're not always fun. I know this isn't always an answer but for my situation I'm trying to make it up by getting them a nice wedding present and writing a really thoughtful card.

Dude i got invited to two weddings and i'm going to RSVP no simply cause i don't feel like going LOL

still going to send a gift though but like other people have said - you don't HAVE to go to a wedding. but i DO understand if the person is upset because it is only once in a lifetime and if you're good friends they'd want you there.

i would say send a wedding gift, see her before or after the wedding and treat her out.

There are consequences to every decision made and action taken, and everyone has to live with those consequences.

A bride plans a wedding with everyone in mind that she hopes to attend. She tries hard to work with everyone's schedule, and as it is the most important day of her life, she hopes that the people she invites will support her in that step.

The date will not work for everyone. She knows that. There are other weddings, other events. Still, she hopes her special day will rank high with the people she loves. Unfortunately, the choice she made in dates doesn't work for you.

So you've been given a choice: her wedding or a festival. Whatever you choose, she has to live with that choice.

You've decided that her wedding is not as important to you as your festival plans. You have your own reasons for that--$$, hard to get tickets, previous plans, you don't want to make the drive. You are absolutely well within your rights to make the decision you've made. You are well within your rights to go to the festival and have a good time.

But again, you have to live with the choice you've made and those consequences.

Right now, the consequences are that your friend is upset with you. She sees you valuing a festival that happens annually over her wedding, which (hopefully) is once in a lifetime. She has already had to reschedule her wedding from last year, and is probably anxious about a last minute call off again.

So now the question is what the fall out will be. Will the friendship endure--you don't say she's a close friend or mention that there's bridal party drama, so would the choices be different if she were your best friend, or would the consequences be harder to take if you were closer? What if she skips your wedding, and how will that make you feel? How will you both choose to live with that? Again, you both have every right to make your own decisions about all this, but neither of you is free from the consequences of those decisions. Just be prepared one way or another.

[For what it's worth, I think it's normal for brides to have their feelings hurt by someone choosing to do something else other than their wedding... I have a friend who won't come to my wedding due to Covid concerns, but she just spent a week at the beach in a high risk area, which indicates to me it's not really about Covid. I don't think our friendship is going to ever be the same. No, it's not her wedding or anything, but she was one of my closest friends, and I think that's all kind of diminished now, honestly.]

She's got tons of people who will be there that day, and you are not a bridesmaid, so in that regard she'll be fine.

She may not want to be friends with you or it could strain your relationship-- but we lose friends all through our lives, it's ok, you'll be ok. If you would rather go to the Glastonbury festival than her wedding maybe that's a sign this is one of the friendships you are willing to let slide, that's ok! You have to trust your gut. Life is short. The friend group you are attending the festival with may be the friends you want to invest in anyway.