Can’t Afford a Standard Wedding in Today’s Day in Age

It’s true that if guests fly to your wedding, you need to properly host them, including a full meal. However, I really don’t think friends & family will be hurt if they’re not invited because you end up doing a small wedding you can afford. Nobody is obligated to have a wedding. You can send them a wedding announcement after your big day to include them.

Receptions in the "old days" existed but often were held at the church assembly hall with cake and punch and maybe some finger foods after. There are still receptions such as this today and it's perfectly acceptable as long as your ceremony isn't during standard meal times.

I totally hear what you’re saying! Maybe if you state explicitly on your invitation that it is going to be an informal affair with let’s say bbq and casual attire and in a state park... guests can make the decision whether or not they want to make the flight out. If they think it’s “not fancy enough” they will know upfront. If they decide not to come because of that then so be it.


My personal opinion though is that your family who loves you will want to support you on your wedding day no matter what. My advice to you would be to plan the wedding that is in your budget.

I get what you are saying. It's your wedding and your budget. You host the wedding you can afford. If you cannot provide a full meal, and can only have light refreshments or apps, then you have it at a non meal time. You don't owe anyone an invite to your wedding. They don't have to travel and attend your wedding if they don't want to. It's an invite, not a summons. If they want to fly in, travel the few hours for your wedding, it's because they want to.

And really the only requirement for a reception is some type of food (cake, finger foods, cheese trays, etc), drinks (non-alcoholic is fine, but if you have alcohol, there needs to be food with sustenance), and a conformable place to sit and mingle.

People have budgets of all kinds and neither is better than the other. If your dream wedding is at a park pavilion and a casual reception, have that. If it's a grand affair at a 5 star hotel, great! Some couples save for years, make budgetary sacrifices, because they want the wedding wedding they've dreamed of. Other couples just go and get married at the courthouse because they don't want to wait, or they don't put importance on having a wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. That is a great idea!

View Quoted Comment “It’s an invite not a summons” - lol I love that. So funny.

I have to say that I 100% agree with you. I've been with my husband for almost 14yrs and we are just now able to plan our wedding. We got engaged at 22 and we were stable enough to live comfortably and take care our daughter but to plan a wedding, we just didn't have that. It was a lot of stress and A LOT of other people's opinions but we know where we stand a couple and decided to get married at church with just our parents on 8/11/2021 and have a later now that we have the means to. Do what you have to do and what's best for you guys, your online sister got your back😁

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think I am starting to realize that I just have to make peace with people feeling disappointed and do what’s best for us.

Your wedding is about you and your FH. Those are the two people who matter. So trying to please everyone else only will have you unnecessarily stressed.


FH and I had an entire wedding planned for October 2020. Then we postponed to October 2021. Ultimately we canceled those plans two months before the wedding date and got married in Hawaii with just the two of us instead. Let me tell you that it was the absolute BEST plan ever!!!! I honestly wish we would’ve thought of it from the beginning. Our guests were only informed about the cancellation. But they didn’t know about our plan to elope (only our parents and 5 friends knew). We informed everyone else afterward and no one was upset. Plus, how could anyone have the audacity to be upset at two adults making a decision about their lives together? 🤷🏽‍♀️ If that’s the case, I probably wouldn’t want them at my wedding anyway.

View Quoted Comment That sounds amazing

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. These are not as rare as people think.



If you do plan to serve a meal, you can keep costs down by getting restaurant drop off catering that is served buffet style.
If you want certain people in attendance, let them decide if they want to travel. While you may not see it as feasible or worth the travel expense/time, they may have no issues with it and want to do whatever it takes to get there. Either way, you and fiancé need to decide together what you want. Don’t try to please others if it sacrifices your own comfort and happiness.