Cancelling?

I completely understand what you are going through. I'm beyond stress with life and this wedding. My FH is always reassuring me that everything will be okay and just breathe. Take it a day at a time and things will work out.

I'd more wonder who *hasn't* thought of cancelling? It certainly crossed my mind, but I'm glad I had my wedding. Of course, I was up to the night before when I thought, "Dude-- that is so much money!" so cancelling then wouldn't have saved a penny. If you're feeling this way, I say "Scrap it, go with the courthouse, and save yourself what is the equivalent of a down payment on a home for most people."

The thought of eloping comes up fairly frequently. =) We keep saying, at least we are both sure of one thing - we want to be married. How to get there is another story.

Typically whatever seems to be a crisis this week is resolved next week. So my advice is to take a deep breath, do something different, work the problem and reassess. Good luck.

I think we all think of eloping at some point. When I realized I had to basically plan this wedding by myself, take care of my two year old, work 20 hours a week and be in full time courses (twice a week waking up at 5am and getting home at 7pm) I panicked. My biggest shut down moment was when I had school, my son and my FH had hand-foot-mouth disease and needed my help for two weeks, and i was scheduled 20-30 hours i lost it. I had to basically step and tell myself the wedding planning would need to wait. Which is why we're just meow sending out invites don't worry it will all be ok. Just breath. And if you still want to cancel after a week then cancel.

I definitely have been wishing all the planning was done already. Not to the point of cancelling, but I think it's a similar reaction. It's totally common & normal to want all of this to be done. I think pp have given good advice. You can always scale it back if you feel that will alleviate the pressure & costs.

And you can always change your plans entirely, but obviously you're aware of the consequences of that.

Breaks are good. Pushing through & getting more accomplished is also good. And boy does it feel good to check things off the to do list!

It has crossed my mind several times especially when I think of all the things that could go wrong. I just sleep on it and in the morning I will feel better.

I had same feelings. I could put a down payment on a house for what we are spending on our wedding. But our parents are funding it so that helps. Also I think that getting married is a special time in our life. This is why people have ceremonies. It is a time to allow your family to share in recognizing your commitment to each other. When we take time to have a ceremony it helps separate the everyday from something special. Committing and getting married is special. Don't worry everything will work out and if things go wrong it won't matter because you'll adapt in the moment. Most importantly you will be happy to be with your loved ones.

We actually DID cancel the big wedding.

We are now going with a much small wedding and it is coming in under $1,500 for 75 people.

And honestly we are totally fine with it and not wasting all of that money as we are looking forward to our marriage and not just one day

I have been engaged for 5 years lol, we had planned to have one before and we did cancel due to money and other things. We have been wanting to get married the whole time and finally we just decided now is the time! I think if you want to be married go for it now! There are plenty of ways to cut back and save money. If you're not in a big hurry wait, there is nothing wrong with a long engagement

I just posted something similar yesterday. We haven't booked anything, but i'm ready to just say F it and elope lol.

I don't think you're the only one.

FH originally did NOT want a 'wedding'. he wanted a court house ceremony. but we already had quite a few things booked and deposits down when he got verbal about it. I weighed the options for about 5 minutes before putting my foot down. if I cancelled I would FOREVER look back and be disappointed we didn't celebrate with our family and friends.

luckily now he just admits he was stressed from work that day and every time he hears something about the wedding he gets worried about making sure our guests are taken care of and happy.

If money is truly the only stressor/factor that's causing you to consider cancelling then make a few cuts. you're pretty close to your date but you can always decide not to order favors, menus, cutesy little signage of sorts, talk to your florist about cutting back, don't upgrade the linens and for gods sake don't buy stupid bar napkins with your names on them.

your invites aren't out yet, you still have time to cut back on the guest list (assuming not everyone got a STD). even cutting back one or two tables could save you thousands.

I have an anxiety disorder so I've been tempted once or twice but it was a fleeting thought. My friends and family helped me through the negative/overwhelming feelings and then I realized why I want to get married again. That, and I'm the one buying most everything for the wedding (I make more money) so I will not waste the money I worked so hard at two jobs for just to let my anxiety win. As long as your friends and family are willing to support you and you're willing to ask for their help (maybe not financially as much), you should be able to make it through to the wedding date. It's up to you though.

714, set aside the OOT invitations for a day or two. Don't think about the wedding for a day or two. Spend time with FH and don't talk about the wedding. After a couple of days, see how you feel. You will still have plenty of time to mail the invitations -- if you decide that's what you want to do.

I've thought about it numerous times. I'm constantly wondering "Will this be worth it" Well in the long run, yes. I only plan to get married once. And when else in our lives will FH and I have all of our families and friends together in one room, celebrating us and having a blast. That's what makes it all worth it to me.

I've thought about it several times over the course of our engagement. Have you talked to your FH about it? What about your family? How do you think they will feel? How much as went to already buying BM's dresses and shower stuff, plane tickets, etc. You have to consider all of that. If you are going to do it, maybe grab your parents and do a quick elopement at somewhere nice. That way it won't bother you as much because at least you'll be married, then send out "we eloped" announcements.

Christine if 75 is "much smaller" I'm wondering how many you had to begin with? 75 was our original guest list estimate and it's already overwhelming.

View Quoted Comment Ditto! I always say to myself that I really don’t think I’ll even care if I don’t have one. In the far away past of elaborate sweet 16s my friends were having, I opted for nothing. Lol. And didn’t bother me one bit. I’d like to think this is just history repeating itself.