Cancelling?

What makes you want to cancel?

Think about how much money you're flushing down the toilet if you cancel. Deep breath. My bet is that this is a very normal freak out. ETA: unless of course you're having serious doubts about your relationship in which case that's a whole separate issue

I've thought about it especially still being so far out but I've always thought about a wedding and knew that I'd always wish I had gone through with it. Money will come but we only have one chance to get married for the first time. Some days I think about the money we're spending on this and my stomach hurts but then I think of the memories we'll have. I personally think that throwing the money away would hurt more than spending it and having my day.

Wouldn't you lose a ton of money if you cancelled so close to your wedding date? I think having some doubts or anxiety is fairly common, but it depends on how serious it is for you. Is it just the cost, or is something else bothering you?

Maybe take a break from thinking/talking/looking at anything wedding related. Try to relax and take care of yourself (get enough sleep, maybe treat yourself to a pedicure or massage) and see if you feel any better after. Don't make any decisions before you take time to really think about it.

I think about canceling every week, then I just get over it. Once you pay your deposit it's like might as well go with your plans. I'm sure your having just a moment. It'll be worth it in the end to marry who you love.

Is it the wedding or the marriage that you want to cancel? Maybe if you take some time to yourself for a few days it would help. If it's the marriage you are doubting, then you and FH need to sit down and talk.

Honestly, I'm stressed in general with life right now. Working full time and being in school 20+ hours a week is taking its toll.

I'm fine with our relationship, but when I think about the wedding and the cost I get so anxious. There's just so many other things we could be doing with the money. I like the idea of the party and the dress, but then when I think about it I'm not sure if I would care if we DIDN'T have it. Which makes me think, why are we doing this?

Don't you already have all your vendors booked? You're going to lose so much money if you cancel. If you can't afford it, then maybe postpone?

It's not that we can't. It's more if we should.

Maybe you should take a break for a bit.

Honestly, I think about the money I'm spending and it stresses me out too. But then I remember that this is probably the only time I will ever get all of my family together in one spot and to me, that's really exciting.

Is there anything you can cut back on to save some money? I know you're close, but it might alleviate some of the stress you have

Are you planning with anyone?

I'm planning by myself and became so overwhelmed, I cried over choosing centerpieces. Finally my FH called my MOH and we got together. He had warned her so she pulled some pictures together and took what ideas I could manage and came up with some centerpieces. Whew! Reach out to someone. Tackle one thing at a time.

Only you can answer that, really. Do you want a big wedding? Can you scale it back?

Sometimes this stuff takes on a life of its own and people get swept into that vortex of celebration that isn't what they had in mind.

But only you can decide that.

I'd also recommend taking a break from it, looking at things you don't need do and figure out what you do, then come to a decision....there really isn't a wrong one....

When FH lost his job and I was still in college we thought about pushing it back awhile, but we already had so much invested that we decided if we cancelled that date we would lose a lot of deposits. We decided to push through financially and everything is turning out just fine.

Take a deep breath and everything will be okay.

If you would be happy with just you him and an officiant and a witness, then do it! The important thing is marrying the love of your life.

Is it time to try to do a so cal social?

If you already have things booked, you may not save money

Take a breath, take a break from planning. I'm 15 months out and get freaked out! We haven't even booked anything!!! It'll be okay.

One of my best friends felt like this so she bought a cute dress and her and her husband planned a weekend and got married at the courthouse with witnesses. They spent the weekend enjoying themselves alone and not thinking about the "formal wedding" coming up. They did not cancel their wedding but enjoyed this moment as a break so when their actual wedding came she said it wasn't as stressful.

You are not alone! I felt that way multiple times throughout the planning process. There were a few days when I kind of shut down from the stress.

As far as deciding whether to cancel, first as others suggested, take a breather. Step away from the planning. Then talk to FH. If you decide cancel, will you lose a lot from deposits? That's something else to consider.