Cancelled wedding.

I am of the mindset that if we haven’t figured this out in four years, we are not meant to be married. I refuse to plan and pay for another wedding. I am done. This is going to take me awhile to recover financially. I put my engagement ring away because we are no longer planning a wedding. Engagement rings are for those working towards marriage. Where do I go from here?

I am so sorry. I can’t tell you where to go from here but I can promise that it will get better from here.

I'm so sorry to hear this! Very unfair and what a way do things during a time like this. Maybe he saw this as his cold feet opportunity?


I can't say where to go from here but listen to your mind To make a sane decision, how do you feel about it all? Do you see yourself long term with him ever again after this? What is his reason for cancelling?
Write these down and analyze the answers, it may help have a better sense of direction. I hope everything works out for you!

I agree with PP. Everything happens for a reason. Please take care of yourself.

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I agree with this. Our hearts get muddled sometimes and it becomes really hard to know what the right thing to do is. Firstly, I am so so so so so so sorry you went through something like that. Secondly, like Stephanie said, I would encourage you to take a day or more to think through everything. If marriage is important to you, and not to him... that's a big difference, and an important one.

I am so sorry!


I would absolutely leave ASAP. You don't deserve to be treated like this. What is there to fix? Why didn't he ask to fix it in the 4 years you were together?
I know it hurts now, but the trash took itself out. Don't go chasing after trash. Make a clean break and find someone who won't let you go through planning a wedding just to leave you at the altar, so to speak.

What do you want to do? He took back the engagement and wants you guys to just be boyfriend and girlfriend? Is this what you want? If it is, then go for it. But, if it isn’t don’t settle with him just cause he’s someone you’re comfortable with. I agree with PP, you should be with someone who treats you like a queen, respects you, and at least wants to marry you just as much as you want to marry him.

WOW. So now he wants to cancel the whole thing but he doesn't want to break up? Seems like he just found the right excuse to get off but he is too comfortable having you in his life so he doesn't want to end things completely. Maybe you shouldn't get married at all because he doesn't sound like a reliable person.

I don’t want a relay that doesn’t progress. Been there and done that. That guy married the next one....


I am 41, so I can take care of myself. I told him he needs to figure it out. If we have no plans to get married than we need to just part ways.

Relationship not relay...