Canceled wedding

View Quoted Comment Yes I’m sure there will be lots of ???s but it’s not something I want to discuss With everyone. Thanks for your help 😁

View Quoted Comment Thanks I just feel like since it’s my decision he shouldn’t be to blame, that’s why I worded it with I.

I agree with PP that this is a WE situation as opposed an I situation, even if you’re talking to your side of the group and even if it was your call (that part will be yours to share privately at your discretion). I also would make it more concise and direct. Instead of “I’m choosing to not go forward” just “we are not going forward”

I also agree that the thank you for respecting my decision line is a little heavy. I think it’s okay to have some sort of language to indicate an indirect “please don’t ask questions” though I imagine most people would get that is a sensitive situation and be respectful (and the ones that wouldn’t be, well....I don’t lnow if that line will stop them. To me it almost piques curiosity, though without the line the most I would say would be something like “sorry to hear, hope you are okay”) Maybe a “we appreciate your support and respect of our privacy”?

If you sent save the dates via email, I’d probably send a cancelation via the same medium. I wouldn’t count on people to just be checking the website, and then that drags it out and makes it a little more awkward and rumor-y when people start happening to notice and spreading the word. One quick fell swoop of getting it over with will be your best bet, and is important if people are traveling and need to not make arrangements or cancel existing ones.

Sorry for whatever you’re going through right now.

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The way I initially read the cancelation, and it could totally just be me, was that you did not want to go forward with the wedding b/c of something he did.

If someone in my family cancelled their wedding and sent a note that said “I decided” I would automatically assume the couple broke up and that we now hated the other person because they must have done something awful.

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Sorry for jumping to conclusions! I would present it from both of you. My immediate reaction was to think that he did something that made you want to call off the wedding. Since that is not the case the message should be from both of you.

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Agreed! Exactly what I would assume too.

Ok Ladies, Sorry I should have been more clear. I am the one choosing to not move forward with the wedding. For many reasons & I don’t want to explain to every guest my reasoning. My FH doesn’t Agee with my decision so I feel like it should be put on me & not him. He didn’t do anything wrong or bad. Yes we are still together and may in future just elope & have a wedding celebration, but for now I need to handle the task at hand which is informing the guest. I don’t feel like he should be made out like the bad guy & since it’s my decision then I should put on my big girl Panties & take the blame. So how should I word it????

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The way you worded it does exactly the opposite of what you are going for. Since you are staying together it needs to come from both of you. I know you were just talking the other day about eloping and just having a reception so I'm glad to hear you are staying together at least. People will 100% think it was something major he did and that you are ending things completely if you word it full of I instead of we.

I recall you posting several days ago about your decision to elope... are you still planning on doing that or is the entire thing off?

I think that either way reading "i have decided" or "we have decided" i would think that the couple were breaking off their engagement wether it be mutually or one decided. I would say something like "We are still happily together, but due to unforseen circumstances i have decided......"

I would put this comment on the thread you already started about this, so you can see all the responses in one place.

View Quoted Comment 100% agree!!!

Whether* it be

View Quoted Comment Totally agree.

I also agree with PPs that you should use “we”. Whether your SO is in agreement or not, canceling the wedding is what you’re doing, and by nature that’s a joint decision/action. I don’t think it would ever make sense for this kind of message to come from only half of the couple.

I understand your point, that you are the one who doesn’t want the wedding and you feel like you need to take responsibility by saying “I” instead of “we.” The problem with it is that anytime you say “I” it conveys that he did something horrible, most likely cheated, and this is the result. That’s what I assumed when I read it. So idk the best way to word it but you really should us “we.”

Keep it simple. Trying to place the blame on yourself publicly isn't doing him any favors. It would make the message sound dramatic and, since you are staying together, you don't need people to know you don't want the wedding right now... that's your business.

May I suggest:

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we will not be moving forward with the previously scheduled wedding arrangements. Thank you and we apologize for any inconvenience." -Signed both

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She already has, so I'm a little confused why the new thread was started, lol.

View Quoted Comment This is a great way to word it. He doesnt have to take the blame cause there is no "we DECIDED" "only we will not be" which is true

View Quoted Comment We may elope at a later day