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future Mrs. Cunningham
Savvy September 2018

Canceled wedding

future Mrs. Cunningham, on May 11, 2018 at 12:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 61
Does this sound ok?Due to unforeseen circumstances, I’m choosing at this time not to move forward with the wedding, as planned. Thank you for respecting my decision and our privacy. Tiffiny Also since we already sent the Save the Date & website through email do I post on website or delete it and just send out email, text & or fb message?

61 Comments

Latest activity by Kat, on May 11, 2018 at 9:34 PM
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    I would not include the "thank you for respecting my decision and our privacy" line. That's something celebrities say, which you are not. It's a bit obnoxious, IMO.

    I also would not say "I'm choosing", because a wedding is not an "I" situation, it's a "we" situation. I would say "we are choosing not to move forward with the wedding at this time". If you say "I", I think people will only wonder more what the reason is, and think it's not mutual. And you should have it say both your names at the end, not just yours. Again, you are/were a couple, this would be strange to receive this from only one half of the couple. Even if you are ending your relationship, and if you are, I'm truly sorry, but you should still present as a united front on this, IMO. I think people will question you less if you do.

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  • M&M Bride
    Super September 2018
    M&M Bride ·
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    I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. How are you doing?

    I would send the emails, texts, and fb messages and update your website. After a few weeks you can delete your wedding website. If you need to chat or anything we are here for you!

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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    I agree with this. Unless your intent is the imply that the reason the wedding is being called off is due to the engagement being broken. If that is what you want to convey then that IMO is up to you. However it does mean more people will have questions

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  • HowCo Industries
    VIP September 2018
    HowCo Industries ·
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    First, I'm really sorry. I hope everything is for the best.
    There's a lot of "I" in there. If you're sending out cancel the dates or putting up an announcement on the website I would stick with "we" and "our". Honestly, I'd list it on the website and send out texts unless you two are just not doing a big wedding but are staying together, when a cancel the date feels like a better plan.
    You can also just shut down the website and put a couple of people in charge of spreading the word that there won't be a wedding. It's what I'd do.
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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    I'm so sorry to hear your wedding is canceled.

    I would present it as a joint decision (even if it's not) to cut down on the drama/gossiping. How about:

    Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have decided to cancel the wedding at this time. Thank you for respecting our decision and honoring our request for privacy during this very difficult time. Regards Tiffany and X.

    I would email or text it out to everyone who received STDs. For immediate family (parents, siblings, etc.) and WP, I would call and give them a heads up before sending the message. This not allows lets them hear the news directly but, it also prepares them in case they get inquiries from guests asking what happened. Maybe you can get them on board with a generic party line to keep rumors and gossip limited.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Rather than have notice come from you alone, I would have it come from both of you. Issuing a statement like this really points to your FH having done something wrong or being the bad guy.

    John Cunningham and the Future Mrs Cunningham
    announce that their marriage
    will not take place.

    I would delete the website. Given that your STD's were sent by email, I think it's find to end this notice in the same manner.

    I am sorry you are dealing with this. It must be a difficult time for you.

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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    I think if you talk about the need for privacy people will ask even more questions because they'll automatically think it's something crazy juicy. Just update the site like the pp said to let people know the wedding is off and send notice to the people you sent STD's to with a simple at this time we are not proceeding with the wedding.

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  • WagsToKray
    Expert November 2018
    WagsToKray ·
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    I'm very sorry to hear this and I hope you're doing ok!

    I agree with M&M Bride, I would send out the message the same way you submitted STDs. If it was email, send it that way.

    I also agree with PPs regarding wording, perhaps:

    "Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are choosing not to move forward with the wedding as planned. Thank you." -Signed with both names.

    Using "at this time" leaves open the possibility of it picking up again later... is that the case? If not, then I'd leave that out. Best of luck to you Smiley heart

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  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
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    The message as stands sounds a lot like you are ending the relationship due to something your FS did. I am not sure that is the best message to convey, even if it is the truth. I would advise taking the high road, and conveying a message of mutual decision on the cancellation of the wedding. I think asking people to respect both of you in regards to decision and privacy is fine. I would expect a line like that since some people can be super nosy.
    Whatever is the cause, I can't imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry.
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  • Disney Bride2020
    Dedicated September 2020
    Disney Bride2020 ·
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    I think you should just say



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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    Hope everything is okay!!! Prayers to you!

    I agree with others- unless you want to convey it is your decision and yours alone, I would put "we" or what WagsToKray said, I like her wording. You don't have to specify "I" or "We" in that case, it just gets the general message through.

    The website itself though, not many people will be checking that on a daily basis. I'd send notices to everyone you sent a STD to as well so they're aware Smiley smile

    Good luck to you!

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  • future Mrs. Cunningham
    Savvy September 2018
    future Mrs. Cunningham ·
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    Ok thanks! yes, I’m the one choosing not to move forward with the wedding. He’s not agreement with my decision.
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  • future Mrs. Cunningham
    Savvy September 2018
    future Mrs. Cunningham ·
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    Thanks! We are still together. I just am choosing not to have a wedding. We may just elope at a future time but for now I’ve made the decision to cancel the wedding.
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  • future Mrs. Cunningham
    Savvy September 2018
    future Mrs. Cunningham ·
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    No we are still together. I just have chosen not to have a wedding.
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  • Shaunte
    Expert December 2021
    Shaunte ·
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    I'm sorry you are going through this. Your messaging conveys that your partner did something wrong and will leave people wanting to be nosy and ask questions. Therefore, I would adopt the messaging of Muriel or WagstoKray.

    I would send out this messaging the same way you sent out the STDs.

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  • future Mrs. Cunningham
    Savvy September 2018
    future Mrs. Cunningham ·
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    Thanks we are still together. I do think in the future we will just elope but for now, it is my decision not his to not have the wedding.
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  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·
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    Then definitely reword the announcement to include him. Sending it with "I" will definitely give the impression that the relationship has ended. I would just mail out the announcement since STDs already went out, and delete anything else.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Ok, I hear you, but I do still think the message should appear to come from both of you, even if it's not his choice. Especially if you are staying together after this. Wishing you all the best.

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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    I agree with PP's - eliminate the "I's" and change it to "We". Best of luck to you during this difficult time!

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  • FutureMrsC
    Expert October 2019
    FutureMrsC ·
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    I think even if he's not in agreement with the decision, you may still want to present this information as a couple. People are going to assume the worst and think he did something wrong. Unless he absolutely refuses to use "we" I guess, but it definitely will not make him look good.

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