Can we talk rehearsal dinner, What is everyone doing for theirs?

My FIL's are paying for our rehearsal dinner, so I'm kind of leaving it up to them to decide where. I will say that we are only inviting the bridal party (and spouses) and immediate family.

In the past as a BM, I always had more fun in the more relaxed setting (like mexican or BBQ food) and leaving the formal stuff just for the wedding. One of them was not open bar and the other was. I think the popular opinion on here would be to do open bar since you're essentially thanking your bridal party for being part of your day and taking part in the rehearsal.

We skipped it. Nobody needs to practice walking 50 feet, standing still, and walking back out again.

I have been invited to two rehearsals in my life. Both served casual foods (sandwiches at the church for one and pizza at the bride's parents' for the other) and both were limited to people in the wedding party and their partners.

My in-loves graciously arranged the rehearsal dinner at a italian steakhouse. We'll have a private room for just the wedding party, their significant others/family, and our immediate family. They're going to buy some bottles of wine but cocktails are available for purchase if someone wants anything else. I've pretty much stayed out of the planning and let FH work out the details with his parents.

I think our dads are giving toasts at the rehearsal dinner, but we're also opening the floor for any other toasts. I'd give your guests a heads up if you do something similar. Last rehearsal dinner I went to they offered a mic for anyone to give toasts but no one was prepared so very few people took advantage of it.

Since we're doing a destination wedding, we're heading to a bar afterwards and invited everyone to meet us there.

I believe it is all about want you both want. Where are you getting married?

BBQ at the house. Wedding party, close family, and out of town guests are invited.

I wanted to do pizza to save $$, but FH really wants BBQ... probably better not have subject me to carbs that close to the wedding day anyway. Hahaha.

We had a BBQ at my FH's parents house, we invited our bridal party with spouses and kids and immediate family

UO as many people say the rehearsal dinner is unnecessary - I find them super fun. I have been in many weddings and enjoy the extra time with the bride and groom and wedding party. We are having ours at a laid back restaurant and having an open bar. I don't know if I've ever been to one that hasn't been open bar. ETA: just the wedding party, parents, and readers are invited. Wedding party includes all our immediate family.

So it's really up to you what you want, but here's my personally philosophy for my own:

My FILs are hosting & paying, so I really deferred to them for number of people, plated vs. buffet, bar menu, decorations, because it's their budget.

We are having around 60 people at the RD, about 160 at the wedding. Invitees are WP, family and close close family friends (like godparents) and anyone's children or SOs.

It's an open bar, buffet style. We deliberately chose buffet because our wedding is plated, and we also strategically chose menu items that wouldn't be offered at the wedding.

I really wanted something relatively easy-going, because i wanted the wedding to be the formal event. I wanted everyone to feel relaxed, chatty, and excited for the next day and not like they had to sit through 2 formal dinners.

Decorations will be very simple, "fall"-esque with candles. The restaurant is pretty rustic (oak bar and exposed brick) so we went with that feel.

Again, this is just my personal approach to the RD, and not necessarily the "right" way.

We only invited the wedding party, their dates, and our parents. We went out for pizza and beer... it was very casual.

We can't do it at the venue the day before since there's a wedding so we are going to the best man's house which is close to the venue and doing it there. We are ordering pizzas for everyone and only the bridal party and their significant others are coming!

Ok thanks everyone. Sounds like a more relaxed vibe is okay, now to start calling around.

We're doing it off-site but at a venue not a restaurant. Bringing in some good pizza, beer, and wine. Opening up the eating and drinking to OOT guests once we get the rehearsal out of the way. I feel silly for having one bc I know it's not complicated, but it's peace of mind that everyone is prepped and ready for the big day, hopefully less can go wrong that way?!

ETA: Bridal party, significant others, their children invited for rehearsal and the. OOT guests invited for pizza and beer. Probably going to go out after to our local watering hole for some poor decisions the night before the wedding.

My rehearsal dinner is a very fancy mini reception with over 100 people. I left it all in FMIL's hands because she loves throwing parties.

If it were left up to my FI and me, we would likely have had wedding party/spouses and our immediate family only at a casual Mexican restaurant. Being a proper host includes providing alcohol, but if you choose the Mexican place you could provide just pitchers of beer and margaritas to save money.

We are in a different situation. Most of FHs family is driving from VT to NC and others also very long distances. We are hosting the RD at the venue and doing buffet style just different food than the wedding. Our families will meet for the first time here so we wanted to do something special.

My FH's aunt and uncle graciously offered to host ours. It's going to be at the Sheraton. We're inviting about 25 people. (wedding party and their so's, and close family) We're going to have wine, beer and champagne. Ours is a little formal but rehearsal dinners don't have to be at all. When we thought that we'd be paying for it we were just going to do pizza and beer on the beach. You also don't have to invite beyond the wedding party and their so's.

It's really up to you (like everything else!). If you're having one, you REALLY SHOULD include the wedding party and anyone else making their way down the aisle (parents, officiant, etc.). It's nice to feed them since they have to make an effort to come to the rehearsal. Optional members include other immediate family members (siblings, grandparents, etc.) that are not in the wedding party but still are important to you. For me this would include my aunt/uncles/cousins since we're a pretty close knit group.

Some people open it up to out of towners. My parents are making me do this so it will be like a second wedding with about 60 people! I wanted to avoid a sit down dinner because I wouldn't be able to mingle with everyone that way. The compromise my parents and I came to was a cocktail party instead of a a dinner. Instead of "rehearsal dinner" we're calling it a "pre-wedding celebration" so people don't expect the sit down dinner. It will be over early enough for people to get dinner on their own if they want, but I think we will have enough food for most people not to need to go out. I don't think we'll save ANY money this way, btw, it's just what I want.

We're having the party at a restaurant (semi-private room) and yes absolutely there will be an open bar.

This can be as formal or informal as you like.

Where are you doing yours? - We went to a local Italian restaurant across the street from the guest hotel, we had a private function room in the back.

How many people are you inviting? - Our immediate families, the members of the wedding party and their partners, everyone doing a reading and their partners, and we invited the priest and the ceremony musician but they declined the invitation.

Who is invited? Just Wedding Party and family? - This is what we did, and then we hosted welcome drinks afterward for all of our guests. Almost all of our guests were from out of town and we wanted to welcome them, and just doing drinks instead of a full dinner was a way to keep it affordable and casual.

Is this usually an open bar thing? - Including drinks with the meal is a very good idea, even just a few bottles of wine and some beer is fine.

Anything else important to know about them? - This is a good opportunity to give a thank you speech and give out any gifts you might be giving to your wedding party and/or parents if you'd like.

MIL and FIL paid for the rehearsal dinner- we had an italian buffet in a private function room at a local upscale tavern. We had about 26 people- parents, wedding party/SO's, JP, grandparents, and two couples from their side that flew in/drove up the night before. It was open bar (that was kind of a fight, they love to do cash bars for everything but I said no freaking way)

We reserved a table at a BBQ restaurant about 15 minutes from the ceremony site. Wedding party and their SO's, parents, and readers are invited, so for us it'll be about 20 people. Super casual and relaxed--our parents graciously offered to split the bill.

Personally, I think they should be small, short and casual. As in not a second wedding.

Invite your BP and sig others, parents and siblings. That's it.

Open bar, yes, but you could totally do pitchers of margaritas and sodas.