Can i (the bride) walk down the aisle before the groom?

Can you two walk down the aisle together?

View Quoted Comment I suggested that, but he really like the traditional processional order. I just don't want to be the last one to walk out, and I'd kind of prefer to be there (at the altar) before him. He thinks that people would think my idea was strange since it's somewhat a reverse of the usual order.

What if you just didn’t have everyone stand when the bride walks in?

It seems like even if you do it your way all attention will be on you. Maybe if you are last and have your MOH behind you holding your train? You can tell the officiant to not announce everyone to stand for you. May I ask? Is there a way you two could compromise overall rather you let him have this but he gives you something else you prefer in regards to the wedding?

I think this will put more attention on you

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, this is the only thing we disagree on about the wedding, and it feels big to me.


I feel like less attention would be on me because I would sort of blend in with the bridesmaids this way. I think that the most attention is on the last few people who walk in, so I'd like to be in the front or middle. :/

View Quoted Comment Why do you think so?

View Quoted Comment Yeah I agree

View Quoted Comment Realistically, you’re not going to blend in with the bridesmaids. You’ll be up there longer and you’ll have to wait while everyone watches you wait. And because you’re doing it out of order I think it’ll make people focus on you more. When you come out last the groom and wedding party are up there a long time and you’re not out there as long. People won’t be thinking anything is unusual so they’ll be more on auto pilot. I think it would be better to have a more intimate ceremony with less guests if you feel self-conscious. I’m shy but on my wedding day I felt beautiful, happy and surrounded by love. I didn’t have any of those shy feelings when I walked down the aisle or during the ceremony and reception.

I think, unless you do what grooms sometimes do and just enter at the altar (make sure there's an entrance at the altar, stay up there and step out from behind something, etc.), you're going to draw attention no matter what. Are you wearing something other than white, maybe? Social anxiety is a real thing--my typical recommendation to brides/grooms that really don't want this attention is to elope or have a micro wedding.

Having a "traditionally-sized" (30+ people) wedding often means attention, no matter your logistics. It's just how people act at weddings; all eyes are on the couple. In many heterosexual weddings, many of those eyes stay on the bride. If this is an incredibly overwhelming notion for you, it's time to sit down with your fiancé, express just how uncomfortable you are, and come to a joint decision to make you both comfortable.

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So why not do the traditional procession where he still is waiting at the alter but you walk in front of the bridal party?? Not traditional but not fully off track where you walk in first.

View Quoted Comment That's actually a good idea. I'll think on that one too, and bring it up with him.


I really wanted to go before him but if he agrees we might be able to compromise on it.

View Quoted Comment I am wearing white, and bridesmaids are wearing a very light blue. Why is most of the attention on the bride?


I don't have any nerves about people looking at me during the actual ceremony part, but I don't want the big entrance down the aisle, and I don't want my entrance to be more emphasized than his. I think if bridesmaids -> me -> groomsmen -> groom went (directly after each other, no stopping) there wouldn't be extra attention on me because I'd be sandwiched between the two other parties, and he'd be coming in last, so people would watch him as they are waiting for me people.

View Quoted Comment I'd be fine with them seeing me when I was at the altar, but I don't want the attention of the aisle walk. Isn't auto-pilot to focus on the bride as she walks down at the end? That's what I want to avoid.


And I'm happy you have such pleasant memories about your wedding!! That's wonderful. I'm worried that I won't even be able to walk out into the ceremony if I have to come in last, that's how much I don't want this attention

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Keep us posted and good luck.

What if he came to meet you half way down the aisle, and then escorted you the rest of the way? That way, he still gets to see you at first, but you get to walk together. Plus it gives you something to focus on rather than your guests.

View Quoted Comment First, cute dog in your pfp!


Second, I think I'd be fine with that reversed, like if I came to meet him half way and escorted him down. It's a good idea and I'll bring it up to him. I just don't want to be in the traditional position of the bride, and would rather the groom have that focus coming down the aisle.

There’s really no way to avoid standing out on your wedding day. You’ll still be noticed no matter what order you walk in. The only solution I can see is if the two of you have an intimate ceremony by yourselves and then only invite guests to a reception.

The most traditional, is that the groom and groomsmen enter from the side, and wait at the alter. And the Bridesmaids and MOH then bride (with or without escort) comes down the aisle.
Having the guys in the procession at all has only recently become popular in lots of weddings, though a longstanding thin in a few ethnic groups and religions. And in some other religions ( like mine) which do not feature or have history of coming down a church aisle, groomsmen and groom, or family and groom, enter from one side door, as Bride and her ladies, or family, enter from the other. No walk down an aisle, just brief walk from side to center front. Then ceremony. Then once married, all step aside while you exit. Not processional in, no recessional out.
Unless your religion mandates a walk, do what you are comfortable with.

I don’t think people’s attention is more on who walks in “last” because people don’t know they’re “last” until it’s over lol