Can I really get married without anyone knowing?

Can you? yes, assuming you don't run into anyone you know when you go to get the license or do the ceremony. is it a good idea? probably not.. people will be really hurt (why do you want a fake certificate, the actual certificate has to be signed at the wedding). they don't put it in the paper when you get married unless you submit an announcement. it is however, probably searchable on the internet and in courthouse records as marriages are public records.

Agree with Kahlcara. We went to Vegas and eloped but our parents knew what were doing (husband is in the Army). They asked us if we had a witness, we didn't, so they supplied us with one.

Get married now and have a vow renew/celebration when you planned. A lot of people on here do it. Don't lie and risk hurting people.

You can do whatever you want. Tell your parents.

You shouldn't get married just for money. Were you planning on getting married anyways? If so they heck yeah do it early. Of not then you should not get married strictly for a paycheck

Thanks guys. Yeah, we are getting married next July. But he just bought a car, and I don't make much money and I know neither one of our parents are going to be able to help us out much. He lives in Las Vegas right now. That's we're he's stationed. And I'm in Ohio. He comes home for 2 weeks next month and we were thinking about doing it. But I'm not sure.

I am from a small town in the South.. And every month the local newspaper post all of the marriage license that were applied for in that county.,

They don't put it in the newspaper. However anyone can look it up online if they wanted to. Marriages are public record.

Yes you ca do it without anyone knowing that's assuming you can live with the guilt and assuming none of them get suspicious and look it up. If I were you I'd just tell them. If they understand the reasons they will be OK

Also, someone who's a military bride would probably be able to tell you for sure, but I'm not sure you would get paid more for being separated since he was ALREADY stationed where he is. it's not like you were married and living together and then he was called up and sent somewhere else.

Well the reason it was brought up was because he's going to Afghanistan. His friend did they same thing he's talking about, they were living in different states. And they got separation money. I'm not too sure yet. I think we might just wait till next year.

My post won't be popular. We secretly got married for financial/insurance reasons. We told our two best friends who went with us as witnesses. No one else knows, including our parents. The venue and everything else was already booked for what we considered our "real" wedding (yes, I know the JOP was actually our real wedding). A friend was already going to officiate for us, so we ended up telling him too since he would need to know. It turns out he also got secretly married for insurance reasons and their parents never knew either (they had a formal wedding after and the guests didn't know). We've been legally married for over a year and publicly married for several months. No one has found out. We opted to do a private "license signing" with the same witnesses (no family or photographers) and no one ever asked to see the license. It is public record, so someone could eventually find out. It's definitely a risk. We only celebrate our "public" wedding date. We keep the license hidden.

We don't acknowledge the JOP date except for tax or other legal purposes. I don't feel guilty at all. It was what was best for us. No one has found out about our officiate's secret wedding either and it's now been years. The JOP can usually provide witnesses too. If you decide to do this, realize that someone may eventually find out. If your prepared for that, go for it. I do think it's best to tell your parents even though we didn't.

I'm now prepared to get lectured for "duping" our guests!

That sounds like a lot of work. You would have to let your officiant know. Would they be okay with it? You would have two wedding dates - could you keep them straight on legal documents? You would need to do a private license signing or get a fake license to sign to hide the fact that you're married. Who would your witnesses be? You'll have to show your license to people if you change your name, etc. What if family goes with you for this? And as others have said, it is public record so people might find out anyway. I'd recommend telling people and having a vow renewal instead or just wait. Maybe tell your parents only and don't call it a vow renewal, but that still sounds really complicated.

Since you're planning your wedding for next july anyway, why not tell people that you're married and keep planning for your one year anniversary/vow renewal party? i know i don't like to live with secrets, and one this big would hurt me to carry, and hurt my loved ones if they found out later.

I'm telling you as person who grew up in the military and has a sister who's husband is in the military, and me personally being with someone where you don't mean anything to the service unless you are married. I know how the military works, trust me, been there done that, everything else between. If I were you I would just flat out tell my folks this is what we are going to do and later when we have the money we will do a big celebration with family and friends, but as of right now we just want to be married. My sister told us that and my parents were proud of her for being upfront. Yes, they were both nineteen, but at least they were honest. He was going to be sent out to basic and two weeks later she found out she was pregnant after they got married in the court house. My parents and his parents were there has witnesses and after the courthouse they went and had a nice lunch.

Honestly, sneaking around like that is going to be a very bad idea. Just be honest and tell them.

A friend of mine had to do this as well. I'm not too familiar with all of the details but it was something to do with housing. Anyways, they quietly got married (their parents witnessed it and afterwards they went out to dinner) and then they had their 'official' wedding a few months later. No one had a clue. My fiance and I are debating about doing something like this now since I've begun to develop some health problems and do not have insurance. We call it 'filing the paperwork' to us, the real wedding will occur when we recite our vows in the church.

Not every state publishes notices. Even as the officiant of record, I can't get information on my couples from the clerks' offices. It's best to check.

Tell your family about what you're doing, have your wedding when you're going to have your wedding and tell whomever else you want. I'm just never really happy about the parents not knowing.

Good luck!

With today's economy, a lot of brides & grooms are being realistic about the pros & cons of getting married both ways. I just don't understand why not share the JOP with your parents & have the vow renewal a year later with family & friends. Do what's best for you & your FH. But when your kids ask you your wedding date, what will you tell them?

I'd do it, but I wouldn't keep it a secret. Just throw a reception when you planned everything next year.

My mom's golden rule, "I will ALWAYS find out!" I live by that. It would crush your parents if they find out, and most likely, they will find out. This is totally your choice to get married at the courthouse, but I would at least tell your parents. I think it would be to hard to keep that in for so long.