Calling off the Wedding

Hi honey. Sigh. I'm going to second Paris (like usual) and say you are taking some very brave and bold steps. You are the one who knows what you need to do.

My two cents: When I was engaged the first time (to ex-husband), after a few months I tried to call if off. I was ready to leave my life with him behind since I just knew somewhere deep inside that it wasn't the best for me...he talked me into it...that we would work...well...I spend $20K of my parents money and $10K of my own (not his) for our wedding and honeymoon. ON that honeymoon he told me he "didn't know" if he wanted to be married...this was a week after my BFF said she couldn't stand up at my wedding because he would never treat me as I deserved...so. I guess the moral of my story is to stand your ground, when you know what's truly right...and move forward without looking back. I wish I would have been strong enough to stand up for myself/my life at that point, but I wasn't. We support you no matter what!

So very sorry to hear this Jennifer. It does sound like you know what is best for you even when following that decision is hard to do!

I do hope you will keep in touch and best of luck to you in your next adventure!

By how you describe things, it sounds like you made the right decision. Kudos to you for having the courage to make what must have been a difficult decision. Good luck as you move on.

I'll echo what everyone else is saying - it takes a brave person to make a huge change like this. You should be proud of yourself. You have courage a lot of people do not have! Good luck and I know you'll find someone that makes you feel totally giddy someday

You're incredibly brave to be doing what you're doing. Trust yourself and take every step forward. Good luck Jennifer. Keep us posted!

I'm sorry that you're going through this, but good for you for listening to your gut and doing what is right for you, no matter how difficult it is. You're making a really brave move and it takes a lot of strength. Good luck and I hope everything goes well as you move on to new things!

YGG..... only you know what is truly in your heart!

My FH was engaged 2 times before this and was the one to call things off just a few months prior each time. He knew it wasn't right and looking back he knows he would have been divorced soon after with each one.

Also, my father is divorcing my mother right now (after 33+ years). He says he knew it wasn't right from before the wedding day but felt he couldn't cancel b/c of all the time and money that had been spent. Once he had kids he thought it would make it better, but it never did....and here he is finally listening to his gut 33 yrs later.....

Moral of story, when you know you know. Wishing many blessings for both of you in your seperate ways!

From the way you speak I think you made the right decision and I give you a lot of credit for being brave enough to let go and start over. Sounds like the move to your moms will be a good thing. I wish you all the best and hope to see you on these boards keeping us posted on your life!

I know that it sounds repetitive, or even a little fake, but your decision is definitely an incredibly courageous one. There is a HUGE pressure on women to get married, and to live with relationships that don't make us happy, and many women end up married to someone they aren't happy being married to.

I have a friend who called off an engagement (5 year relationship, 2 year engagement), and my mother left my father about 10 years ago after 22 years of marriage. Both of them had to start over, and BOTH of them are very happy with their decisions. Not "They know they made the right decision, but they're still sad." I mean 100% "SO glad I didn't marry him/stay married to him!!"

Never doubt yourself. You did a very brave and difficult thing (you are still DOING a brave and difficult thing!), and we're all rooting for you!

I hope you find your happiness.

Relationships are difficult but I believe honesty is the best feature you can have, both with your partner and with yourself. Proud of you for being honest about your feelings and not allowing it to carry on because "it's what is right". This is a hard decision but I hope, in the end, it's the best one for you and your partner.

Good luck. We're thinking of you and sending good thoughts and vibes

It's always sad to see these types of posts but life is life and WW isn't a fantasy land where all in right with the world or my favorite saying unicorn poop. lol

BUT...I am so proud of women that can make this decision before taking the plunge and getting in deeper only to divorce when they knew in the first place it wasn't right. So, good for you and I wish you well. Stay focused on what you want.

When you feel at piece with a decision, thats when you know its the right one : ) Good Luck!

Best of luck to you both. I wish I had've listened to my gut 25 yrs. ago. I would'nt have had the horrible experiance's that I did.

I agree with the other ladies that you are incredibly brave and I think it's good that you're listening to your gut. Down the road, you'll find the person who's right for you. Maybe the two of you are meant for each other, but not now. It'll work out.

I wish I had your courage the first time I got married. I too wasn't excited when I got engaged and felt in my gut that it wasn't right. Looking back at my feelings, I wish I would've called it off; it would've saved me time, money, and frustration. I put pressure on myself to get married since I'd been with him for a few years, my best friend at the time was putting pressure on us to marry, etc. Less than 2 years later, I finally followed my head and heart and got a disillusionment (thankfully no kids - never wanted them with him).

With my current FI, I believe we are made for each other. It's not always easy, but we love each other and want the best for each other. With him, I would have kids. We connect on many levels.

It is a very bold decision and it takes so much courage. I'm actually going through the same thing...also had the same wedding date... which is a little strange. But hang in there. That's so good you have your mother's support. In a time like this, you need all the support you can get. You will be in my thoughts and I wish you the very best. IM if you like or need someone to talk to.

I am so sorry this is happening to you but I admire your bravery in realizing that it's time to move forward. It is so much better that it happens now before you get married and that you aren't getting married because you are worried what other people will think of you or because you think it's what you are supposed to do. Continue to stay strong and I will be thinking of you.

Sounds like you're doing exactly what you should be doing. Good luck to you.

If you know in your heart something isn't right, nothing in the world can change that. I know the feeling you're talking about from my past relationship, loving him but feeling like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I wish you peace in the days ahead, you are very strong to make this decision!

I've had to call off an engagement before and it's very rough. I stayed with him just called off the marriage while we attempted to work on things, and we ended up breaking up.

Fast forward a few years and I met FH. Then I really know what a good relationship was, since I had such a crappy one before.

For sure if it's been bothering you for months then it's the right thing to do. Congratulations for making the rough decision to move on.