Calling off the Wedding

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this... I do wanna ask, are you sure it's not just cold feet? I personally think it's normal for relationships to go thru a period of "waning", of not having that lovey dovey feeling every single moment of every single day. Relationships take lots of work, the roads we travel together arent always easy, in fact some of them are very bumpy. Giddy, happy, excited, 24/7, that's the stuff of fantasies. Even the most in love, head over heels, I'd die without him, girls on here can admit they dont feel that way ALLLLL the time.... Alot of us have to work hard to get our relationship to a certain point, other women have it from the start...

But if this has been that inner gut feeling eating at you, & you're finally listening to it, it's good to do that now, vs waiting til your wedding day, or even after. Divorce sucks, it's better to avoid it, even if it means leaving behind a loved one. Make sure it's what's best for you

That's deep Masquerade...I agree with her, all relationships are hard work. I don't always feel giddy about being with my fh. This past week we ended every night in a fight. I've been ready to call it all off at least twice this month alone. But that's a spur of the moment thing, we can't be led by our immediate emotions because we can end up regretting them.

He reminded me that I told him I love him despite our ups and downs and side to sides. And I do. Yes, its stressful, every couple has their own issues, but think about what has kept you guys together this long in the first place.

Just because you're not all excited now doesn't necessarily mean its not meant to be. Some ppl react ay different times. Maybe the fact that you're getting married hasn't kicked in yet, who knows.

I think you two should sit down and discuss the situation before making any rash decisions. But in the end, if the only solution you can find is to call the wedding off, then so be it. Be to wait a bit longer and be certain of your decisions than get married and have to get a divorce.

Wish you the best!!!

Thank you ladies. Very deep comments. Thank you for taking the time.

Unfortunately, I've been having dreams about leaving and I've been having a gut reaction since I was engaged. In fact, I wasn't even giddy on my engagement day. It was all off. It breaks my heart because we really do love each other, but I'm willing to make a huge sacrifice for us to both be happier later down the road.

My mother me offered me a room down in Virginia where she lives. I'll try to get a job down there and re-start my life over. It almost feels like a relief to talk this way. It's been plaguing me for months. Glad it's finally coming to a head.

You ladies are wonderful. I will keep you updated.

Yes please do. Stay positive!!!

Wish you the best down there!!!

It's funny how I went through these same emotions when my first boyfriend asked me to marry him and I was barely out of high school and into college...I am so happy that I listened to my gut and ran like hell from that relationship...

Like Masquerade and NG F said, all relationships have its ups and downs...Lord knows I have mine with my FH now...I love this guy with everything in me but we fight...but it's different when the person is meant for you...and like you said it hurts when you love that person but the thing may be that you aren't in love with him...I love my exfiance still but I am not in love with him (HUGE DIFFERENCE lol)...

I'm glad you got a caring mom who gave you a place to stay...keep us updated and your head up...things will come clearer to you you'll see...

Oh well I'm even more sorry to hear it's been bugging your for awhile but at the same time, I'm happy that you're doing something about it now, so you dont regret it later.

Keep on walking, there is all sorts of paths for you to journey onto, & perhaps it's just time for this path to end. If it's been something that's eating at you, & you feel that relief, that's a sign....

I'm sorry. You know you are doing the right thing but its still got to be so hard. I hope you find happiness in Virginia.

I don't have any real advice, especially at this late hour (my brain is fried), but I want you know know that I'm thinking of you. It sounds like you are listening to your soul. That will lead you where you need to go.

I wish both you and him the best of luck. I know it will be tough for each of you and in different ways. Your mom sounds wonderful.

I give you a lot of credit for having the courage it takes. I never felt about my ex the way I do about FH and now I'm divorced with 2 little girls who have to split time.

Good luck and many hugs.

I wish you guys both the best. Im really sorry this has happened but you know what its good that you decided to do this now rather than waiting until the last minute!! I know its tough but you will get through this. Its also great that you have support from your mom!! Good luck to you hunny!! *hugs*

Jennifer, this is such a difficult decision and I admire you for being brave enough to make it before it involved much more than you two breaking up. I am wishing you strength and happiness for the future and I hope you find someone who you KNOW is the one for you.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. You are so brave and wise to call it off before it goes any further, it takes a lot of strength and bravery. Good luck, you will be ok!

It takes a lot of courage to be true to yourself. If its meant to be, it will be.

Jennifer, you are a very strong woman! I wish you even more strength in your future. I agree with Robin, if ti is meant to be, it will. Good Luck and stay in touch!

I wish you the best in your future. Leaving someone you love is hard, but you'll know the difference between love and in love. I read somewhere "if you can't have the one you love, love the one you're with", and that perfectly summed up my relationship with my son's father. But when we split up, it was the most liberating feeling, even though we were both a little sad it hadn't worked. Now I couldn't imagine my life without my FH. We fight (all couples do if you've made it past the 'honeymoon' phase), but I'd rather fight with him than kiss anyone else! You'll feel this too when you find the right one. I think you are very wise for listening to your gut rather than external pressures! Best of luck!

I am sorry that you have to go through this tough time, but it will get better. Keep your head up, stay focused on the positive things in life and follow your heart. There is a soul mate for everyone.

I am sorry that you had to make this hard decision. But like the ladies said, things will get better in time. Best of luck in VA!

I will say 1. don't compare youself to other relationships. I love my SO but somedays totally hate him... Sometimes I even think why the heck are we together... Normally when I am PMSy and hormonal! 2. Trust your gut....

If you feel with ever fiber of your body this relationship is wrong for you then it's best to go. You will be doing each one of you a disservice staying together if you are not in it for the long haul. Relationships are very hard, it's not all roses, infact sometimes it can be miserable.

I have been married before, I knew it was wrong.... I did it anyways because I thought it was the right thing to do. When I met other couples I found some of the things I thought was wrong with us were "normal" however, at the same time I just *knew* we were all wrong for each other.

We were, we were horrible together. I got three beautiful children out of it, and I did love him. But we just didn't work. I did though give all I could in our marriage. (conti)

Now I am with someone else I KNOW we are meant to be together. As much as we can drive each other crazy we love each other very much. We have been through hell and back. We have been through me almost dying twice in the past year. It has made us see how much we need each other. I know at the end of the day he is my man and I am his. But won't lie some days loving him and being by his side a choice rather than a feeling.... Feelings come and go it's like a roller coaster!

We don't always agree and that's okay. But we are always trying and that's what's important. So if you feel deep down this is all wrong, it probably is just make sure it's not because you are expecting all the time lovey feelings because I will be honest, that's just the movies talking to ya. It's not realistic. BUT if you know you have LOVE but you are not in love then do you both a favor and move on good luck.