BYO Food in Fredericksburg, VA

Kelsey: a "simple backyard wedding" requires a shit ton of rentals, including extra bathrooms, valet parking, it's really a bigger production in terms of headache and expense than having a wedding somewhere that provides tables, chairs, a commercial kitchen, multiple bathrooms, insurance, etc. No way can anyone do a backyard wedding for 200 (that requires acreage) and have it be on the less expensive side of things. The other suggestions you have are good, except they will take OP's entire budget. She doesn't have anywhere close to enough money to do even the lowest level of hosting for the number of people she is adamant she must invite.

Agreed! Backyard weddings definitely get expensive.

She has an unrealistic budget for sure, but I just wanted to throw out a few suggestions that she could possibly work with and either 1. expand her budget a bit to accommodate or 2. cut back on guest list.

My fiance recently bought land and are building a house. I went into wedding planning with a "NO MORE THAN $5k BUDGET" fantasy and quickly realized that was unrealistic for my vision and it's about doubled.

I'm sure OP will get deeper into planning and realize similar, so I rather be helpful than tell her that her ideas are stupid and that her wedding will be horrible. We're all noobs to planning at first!

I'm not sure how telling her things she can't possibly afford are prossible is helpful, but you seem to have a nice attitude. Hopefully OP has a similar coming to Jesus moment.

I know it's not the most elegant solution but there are some restaurants that offer catering packages. As an example, before I found my venue that has food included, I got a quote for 250 guests which included tri tip, chicken, a side, set up, serving and clean up for $3,200 but I'm sure there are some places that don't offer as much for less.

THERE'S ALWAYS CHIPOTLE CATERING.

Mmmm.

Many many years ago i went to a wedding where there was trays of veggies and rolls and meat slices. Guess what happened? Everyone left. Literally the only people left in the hall was the bridal party and the parents. That's it. Everyone else left to go eat.

Please don't be that person that we still make fun of 10 years from now. Be a grown up and plan a wedding you can afford

This thread is never ending....And self-catering for 200 guests will never be okay no matter how you try to justify it.

@Kelsey Chipotle catering still has to be kept at the proper temperature. They literally just drop it off. And it's going to cost more than $2.50 PP.

You're willing to invite 200 people that you can't afford to feed? Are you serious? Why? Is it about gifts? Your guests, all 200 of them, are not going to appreciate this self-catered debacle (and it will be a debacle), and once they get a plate of self-catered food, they'll know why they were invited to your wedding. I know, you're going to say you just can't cut the guest list, but unless you can afford to feed them with catered food, you HAVE to cut the guest list. Why is it so difficult to realize that this is a fact of life?

My brain doesn't compute -- 200 guests and no catering budget. This isn't the way weddings work. Invite 20 people to a restaurant reception, or do the rudest thing possible...

I can't believe this is still going. Kate gave you great (realistic) options OP.

@Kelsey - state park and/or backyard is not realistic for December in Virginia. Our temperatures in VA in early December were in the single digits. OP is dead set on getting married in December too.

OP - I did as much research as I possibly could to find inexpensive venues in that area when helping my sister. Options in your price point will likely be a local fire station or maybe an Elk Lodge? I still don't think you'll find a place that allows self catering and can hold 200 people. Why not ask your friends who got married and did the self catering? No one is going to give you the validation you're looking for and unfortunately none of us are magicians that can magically find a venue for you.

@kelsey There's no way she could afford chipotle with her budget.....

I swear this has to be fake. There's NO WAY someone could seriously want to host something like this for real. Even tho 21 she has to know how horrible this wedding is going to be and PLUS just because they're close friends and family doesn't mean they will enjoy themselves AT ALL. They will have a horrible time and she will never know because no one will tell her. This is crazy talk lol seriously

Chipoltle. It's Tuesday, not someone's 200 person wedding.

I will say that I would love to have me some chipotle for dinner tonight lol and I definitely would rather chipotle catered than a potluck at a wedding

I have attended a few "simple" weddings. Their affordable options included a brunch style wedding reception in a church gym very tasteful that was self catered no alcohol and they only shared a slow dance together for dancing. The other was at a vfw (check out any egals club or veterans facility a lot of them have banquet room for cheap that allow outside catering). These weddings were by no means my favorite and you could tell the bride and groom were cutting corners to even be able to afford it but I mean I guess it worked for them. I wish you luck most people won't share your view on whats acceptable for a wedding you described including your guests I'm guessing. But either way good luck.

Victoria? Asking people to bring food and allotting 500.00 to pay for 250 guests is not a simple wedding. It's an imaginary wedding.

Oh right, I forgot about the date she wanted. I'm in MA and we just got like 24" of snow over the last 4 days so I know all about cold weather

My wedding is in NH/ME - they're getting 26" of snow tonight as we speak LOL.

@cilia I put simple in quotes because that's what iv seen weddings like that called, just being friendly she asked for some options that I know of she will figure out the money thing when she starts trying to book, not to mention the other 100 comments telling her it's unrealistic.

@kate I'm so sorry that you put in so much work to help OP and she literally walked right past it.

@OP can you see the future? Do you have some magical super power that the rest of us don't have? How can you guarantee that no one will get sick? That's right, you cannot in fact do that. So your statement of 'no one will get sick!' is absurdly invalid.

Also, how generous of you to help your friends pay for SOME of the ingredients for your food. I'd be angry as hell if a 'friend' ever did that to me, and I'd revoke any offers of helping (not that I would ever offer to cook for a wedding of 200).

Also, you can still serve alcohol even if your family members don't drink. You're an adult.

Good luck, OP. I truly can't wait to see your BAM

I'm just saying... if I was 21 and getting married, you bet your ass there'd be alcohol at my wedding. Especially for me and my (assuming) 21 year old friends. At 21 I drank like a fish. It was this new found wonderful thing. Lord.

Even if you were just doing cake and punch it would cost more than $500 for 200 people. So basically not only are you asking your friends to cook for your wedding, you are going to have them pay for most of it.

Listen, I get it. I am 24 and dated my fiance all through college. I was DYING to get married. As soon as he proposed I set a date a year out so that we would have time but that it would be fast. The truth is, he will still be there a year later and being married won't change anything about us except for my name and checking the married box on forms. Waiting another year would have saved us a lot of stress and fights.

Now, I am COMPLETELY against your idea but if you are dead set on this then this is my advice. Your best and safest bet is to do cake, punch, fruit, and nuts. Fruit is pretty easy to store and you run less of a risk of people getting sick off it (still possibly but less possible). This will also prevent your friends from having to put in so much work cooking and setting things up (because someone will have to miss your ceremony to warm up and set up the food). Punch is actually pretty easy to make BUT there are places that you can get punch for as cheap as you can make it yourself so I suggest you look around. You can get a few sheet cakes from somewhere like Wal-mart/Sams/Costco/Publix and serve those to guests. Also, this set up will look a lot better than homemade foods and crockpots set up at a wedding.

I would suggest cutting your guest list as much as possible. The fewer guests you have the more money you save. Even if it is cutting out kids, cutting out someone that you'd like to be there but haven't spoken to in awhile. Just sit down and set a number you'd like to cut and just do it. I would suggest family only.

Venue suggestion: you need a cheap/free venue. I don't know anything about VA but in AL many churches will let you have your wedding there for free if you or a family member go to church there. Another option is having a ceremony with immediate family and putting all of your money towards a reception for friends and extended family. Some friends of mine are only having their parents and sibblings at their ceremony (so their ceremony was less that $200) and then the rest of your budget can go towards a reception (this doesn't work for cake and punch receptions or potluck receptions) but this might give you enough money to hire someone to cater!

I really think that you have the wrong idea and I think you (and your friends and family) will be more stressed than satisfied in the end so I really hope you consider the advice you have been given on here.