BYO Food in Fredericksburg, VA

Hi Kirsten. If a Bride and Groom have guests bring a dish to share, it is against the law for them to bring a gift then. The cash gift/personal gift they were going to bring has now been exchanged for helping host the couple's reception.

Wasn't sure if you knew that but it just became a law.

It's true. Pot luck weddings forgo all gifts. Both cash and personal.

LOL thanks for the laughs

Wow! That's all I can even say.

I'm actually pretty shocked there hasn't been a white knight on this post yet. Where there is one self catered/potluck wedding, there is usually another...

My FW and I can't afford to properly host the 100+ guests we would love to have at our wedding, so we did the logical thing. We cut down our guest list- a LOT. We're having a very intimate wedding with 10 guests and having dinner at a very nice restaurant after the ceremony. Our guests will have a free and quality meal, be comfortable and will not have to bring anything to our wedding except for themselves. If you don't have the money to do what you want, you have to pick and choose. I know it's hard, but wouldn't you rather have a great, properly hosted wedding than something that is thrown together? To my FW and I, our honeymoon, our attire and our timeline were most important to us so we sacrificed things such as a traditional reception and a large guest list. You have to be willing to make compromises! Then you can have a vow renewal in the future and invite all of the guests you want when you can afford it

Well I'm just hoping that couples who have their guests provide food for their reception realize that there is now a law :

Gimme Law; for couples who are requiring guests to work/host said couple's reception, guests are here by relinquished from all civic and honorable duty to provide a personal and/or monetary gift to said couple. Article 1 : chapter 2 : verse 5-7.

OP has left the building.

I'm from NYC, from West Indian descent and it was common to have family members cook food for weddings. Unfortunately, it isn't worth the stress. I've never heard of anyone getting sick. But it lessened the event for your guests. My advice is to find a church that will host the reception, and maybe everyone that is cooking can adjust to your requirements. And don't get mad at the response your getting. I've been engaged for over a year, but our wedding will not lack for anything, because we saved. Are you pregnant and trying to get married before the baby comes? Because I don't see what the rush is. Or get married at the courthouse and wait for a reception. Just some ideas.

You guys need to stop being judgemental and stop telling this bride that potlucks are a horrible idea!!

----just jokes. Just jokes!

Why does @Amanda hide all her comments on literally every thread ever??

OP--potluck weddings are tacky as heck, bro! If I got an invitation for a potluck wedding (just to be clear, this means me as a GUEST has to worry about making food all day before because bride-to-be won't put on her big girl panties and provide food for everyone) I'd literally make a scrunchy face and decline the invite.

Weddings are NOT family thanksgiving dinner where all the family makes a big meal.

I'm pretty sure Ms. Sally from church has one two many cats that like to get up on her kitchen counters and shed everywhere. You really want an egg roll casserole topped with cat hair served at your wedding?

(like for real though.....I've been to some potlucks and there are certain dishes that EVERYONE avoids because they come from a well known unsanitary cook).

No potlucks.

If you truly can't afford it then cut your guest list.

This is just magical thinking, OP. On your budget, you can rent a private room at a reastaurant and have very immediate family and one or two friends each, or you can wait a year or two and save for your current guest list. Your current plan is going to make you and your partner look immature, selfish, rude, and bad mannered. I'm sure neither of you are, so why in the world would you want to leave that impression on your guests? You have the opportunity to have a lovely and elegant and well hosted wedding using one of the two models suggested above. Sit down and think about what is more important to you- get married now, or a big guest list. That will guide you to the right solution for you two. Everyone here wants you to have a lovely wedding, where your guests are properly hosted, and that can happen at any budget. Go back to the drawing board on this one.

Think OP is coming back?

Nope, but I think she is getting the email alert and hopefully reading and thinking. Or, there will be a "u r all rud bishes" post shortly.

@private users shy where you been? 128 comments in and you feel the need to post that??

I'm bummed I missed this thread last night, but happy I could catch up on it this morning. I am really impressed that there actually hasn't been many flagged comments. No one has been called a bully! What is happening?!

@PU not sure what harm has already been done?

If you don't want to acept that this is dangerous and rude think of the logistical nightmare. I'm going to assume that with a 200 person guest list, you'll have sent out 100 invites. That's 100 crockpots, ceramic dishes, Tupperware on all of your tables. Where would it all fit being that you don't have a caterer pulling things from the kitchen? How much space would all this take? Also, how do you propose you'll be keeping it warm? A ceremony is 30 minutes, then cocktail hour; so food will probably be sitting out almost two hours before your guests get to touch it. Also, how do you coordinate with 200 people to ensure 75 aren't bringing a casserole and the rest are bringing their famous meatballs and spaghetti? What about serving utensils? You're going to be hard pressed to find a venue for $1000 that can even accommodate that many people

@Kate

Look at you being all awesome and shit! Sorry people insulted where you live. I have no idea where it is so I have no opinion.

There OP is some starting points and some realistic expectations when looking for venues!

I'm surprised this OP has hid this post yet.

@Davistobe.....I was just thinking that :-)

@Kate you are the real MVP! That is such great info for the OP! Hopefully she at least reads the comments and looks into the places you suggested.